10 year old son who has issues with clothes, sleep and school.

[fily]

Clothes - most irritate him( he is of a chunky stature) -as soon as he gets home from school he strips off and will put only one shirt and a pair of shorts on -nothing else. He hasn't always been like this it's only been over the last couple of years.
He also struggles to sleep. Most nights I have to lie beside him until he drops off which can take a while. Have tried medication but because of his size the dose was ineffective and I don't want to use medication anyway. Lots of other strategies tried am worn to a frazzle trying to get some adult time and some sleep for myself.
School - nightmare to get up(sleep issues) and dressed( clothes issues) school say he appears happy there he tells me otherwise.
Any ideas, thoughts.
frazzled and worried parent!

which medication did you use to treat the sleep issue? did you return to GP/Paed to discuss alternatives?

clothes - have you tried buying from charity shops? older, used clothes are often softer and not so scratchy as new

It always strikes me that uniform clothes are made of material I d hate to wear... Polyester trousers, scratchy wool jumpers, too tight, etc. are his non-uniform clothes soft cotton? Does he do the same with these. My 11 yr old DD used to be a bit lke this but seems to hv grown out of it. Wash in non bio if you re not already. Can he listen to the radio or a sleep tape when in bed?

Have you tried a reward system for putting himself to sleep? 5 nights in a week and he gets a trip to the cinema? Have you asked him what the issue is with his clothes? If he is overweight he might simply be hot. Ask him if he is concerned about his weight (it is a common reason for bullying). If he is, see if he can find a way to cut back on sweet foods e.g. desert only once a week and keep portion sizes child sized. Research shows that overweight teens tend to become overweight adults, and breaking the high cal habit now might help him in all sorts of ways. Good luck!

have you had him assessed for dyspraxia? the issues with sleep and clothes are classic symptoms.

DS has AS and dyspraxia. major issues with sleep. not so much with clothes but i know many many dyspraxics who cannot tolerate certain clothes, labels, fabrics etc.

ds is now 20 an at uni full time. my friends DS also has dyspraxia and lives in tracky bottoms, also strips even now, is a "floppy" dyspraxic with low muslce tone and is a big strapping lad.

check it out.

Thanks folks. @G&H he was prescribed Phenargan but barely made him dozy. Am back at GP this week to discuss issue. @ Lottie he will only wear loose uniform and his polo shirt is the oldest grubbiest one he has despite having numerous pristine new ones which have been washed several times to soften. all our clothes are washed in non bio. As for non uniform clothes he wears the same outfit EVERY day as soon as he is home from school and at weekends. @ BWW I am trying to encourage him to be more interested in food so am teaching him to cook not just eat(lots of) it. We actually have treat type foods locked away and are considering just not having them full stop. He is a grazer doesn't like to eat at school as this makes him need the toilet and he says they are disgusting and doesn't want to use school facilities. (I have raised this with school -with little impact). @Vicar - we have had assessments for a number of concerns. He has been ruled out as dyslexic/dyspraxic, but he has numerous (mild)symptoms. And he suffers from visual stress(words/letters move up and down on the page) - which makes reading and comprehension a struggle and certainly not a choice of activity for him. He doesn't enjoy school although he appears to be quite popular as he has a wicked sense of humour often used to distract from the work he should be doing(not sure if it's because he can't or doesn't want to do it). I shall ask more about dyspraxia at next GP appointment. Thank you for all the comments/suiggestions.

DS used melatonin from the age of around 15 to his late teens. Its a naturally occurring hormone and aids sleep - it was a bit of a life line for DS who couldnt sleep at night at all until about 4am and then would fall asleep at school.
ask about melatonin?

he does sound mildly dyspraxic/dyslexic to me - my son is also dyslexic - they are all related, dyslexia, dyspraxia and ASDs, so i would do a bit of my own research and then go back - who assessed him? was it someone with specialsim in that area, or the schools ed psyche? (they have a vested interest imo in not finding anything that may cost the LEA money)

Fily have you looked into Sensory Processing Disorder? My ds also 10 is dyspraxic, dyslexic, ASD, and has SPD amongst other things. I can highly recommend a book 'the out of sync child'. I will try to find a link to it for you. This book makes an awful lot of sense to parents of children who have these difficulties. If it is SPD you need an OT to assess and diagnose but one who has had specialist training in the condition, appreciate thee are few and far between. I can again recommned a brilliant OT in somerset (private) who is a SPD OT. If you want to PM me then please feel free. I agree with what Vicar said about using someone independent to investigate this for you. That mens not the NHS. I will go and find a link for you to the book.

the out of sync child

@Vicar - GP has previously mentioned melatonin but it's not licensed for children - will ask again though. @Morethanyoubargainfor thank you for the link. I can see elements of SPD in his responses/behaviours and will investigate further. Sadly based in Scotland so your OT is a bit far away but will also investigate OT's in my area. Thanks once again for input.

it is if a pediatrician prescribes it - i would ask for a referral to someone with specialism for an assessment.

yes to an OT.

my son saw a pediatrician, OT, Ed psyche and clinical psyche. i think things may have been a bit messier 20 years ago...OT had some really good ideas.

what are his organisational skills like? his time keeping? what is his writing like?

not the best organiser, Unless it comes to his lego(where he is almost OCD about it ). Time keeping not really explored as I am doing most of that for him. His writing is legible but I think it is poor(assessors said they have seen much worse) especially if he has to try and write at speed, he has an odd pencil grip. Elder son now 16 has messy writing, again especially when required to write at speed to ensure required volume for certain subjects, and was given additional time in English exam this summer due to deterioration in writing when large volumes required. He has a few similar traits but not to the extremes of younger son.

i would certainly explore dyspraxia a bit more then - the pencil grip, in fact everything you have described does sound familiar.
there are all kinds of things available to help from pencils and pens with special grips to a sloped writing board - DS is only mildly dyspraxic but i found these things all helped - also now he is at uni he gets things like dictaphones and laptops to aid him to save him writing.

he cant manage large volumes of writing either. He did get a laptop at secondary school too - that really helped him.

i would most certainly ask for a referral to a OT and ask their thoughts on how to make life easier for him.

have a little read through, this gives a very general overview.

bear in mind not all symptoms manifest themselves especially if its mild

Thanks folks. Lots of good practical advice. good to know that others have circumnavigated their idiosyncracies to lead typical lives. /emo/thl/1.gif

DS is currently doing a computer science degree at uni - they have said if his 3rd year project works the uni would like to adopt it and employ him as an academic to teach - this would fund his way through a masters degree....its a facial recognition app for iphone - so a tutor could scan the room and not do the register

they certainly can go on to greater things!

he has AS, dyspraxia and dyslexia (that one wasnt diagnosed until he was 16)
school is hard for them - it gets better. hold on to that. do what you can to make life easier for them, but its not necessarily a barrier to lead a perfectly normal life. yes DS is a bit rough around the edges and lives in unironed clothes but, hey!

Fily I think. You are me! The only thing my ds can organise is his lego! He is every obsessive about it. He has no idea of time, can't sequence although he has recently made progress with dressing sequencing and no longer puts clothes on top of pj's etc!!!! He also has poor pencil grip and bad handwriting but he also has ehlers Danlos syndrome so that accounts for all things handwriting.

@vicar I too live in unironed clothes! More to life than ironing. glad to hear your son is doing so well. @Morethanyoubargainfor -lego has that effect on boys.