BBM (blackberry messaging) i need some advice... (11yr DD)

[porkypoo]

Hi i am after some advice on how you police it? School have just called to say DD was involved in some messaging at the weekend that if it happens again could result in exlusion! need a plan...help!

Oh god. Well I'm afraid I'm going to sound super-unhelpful and po-faced but - assuming BBM involves you actually owning a blackberry, I have to say my only advice is- don't give your 11 year old a Blackberry. (I have an 11 year old DD. It's OK to say no. She still likes me.)

But Merrylegs according to DS1 (12) everyone but him had a Blackberry for Christmas.

Sorry porky I can't help. But why are the school getting involved if it was the weekend?

BBM is a pain in the neck when you've got teens. The messaging and the PM's they set. You can cancel blackberry services which includes BBM and so it just reverts back to being an ordinary mobile.

Riot act. Insist on being shown the messages concerned. Take away Blackberry. Ground for the foreseeable future.

A child reported the 'incident' to the head of yr this morning. But there is no proof it was from my DD. But if it happens again then it is classed as bullying and she will be excluded. She was bought it for xmas and now im really wondering if i did the right thing! Trouble (without doubting her too much here) the message could well have been deleted by now...

I think you need to have a chat with her and the school. The school must know what it said. Awful situation for you.

I'm with sparklingbrook. Have a chat and talk to school too. Better to confess and take the punishment for stupidity than let it fester and become the butt for someone else to bully/blackmail your DD because they could tell school...

I'm also with merry legs 11-12 is way way to young to have a blackberry. THe kids just don't have any insight into where it can go and what trouble it can cause.

My 12/16 yr olds have really quite basic phones that call and txt- no internet (yes not even the "poor deprived ! 16yr old). As Merrylegs said they don't hate or berate me either of them and yes "some" people at school have blackberries/ iphones etc but they don't and they accept that.

My DS's friend got an iphone for Christmas and promptly dropped it down the loo.

We seem to be very good at giving our kids age appropriate toys when they are little - no sharp edges/nice and sturdy/age relevant play value etc etc.

Yet when they become tweenagers - despite their still scabby knees, the crisp crumbs lining the book bags, their belief that Justin Bieber is the last word in sophisticated music - we say 'here you go, here's a very expensive and delicate piece of technology - and you can talk to The Whole World. Play nicely.'

And then seem surprised when they leave it in the rain/spill juice on it/text their friend 'you smell lol'.

I mean, what did we all expect?

You will be doing her a favour by taking it away.

thankyou folks. The option on the christmas list was a Jack Wills Gillet...dont even get me started on that one! and the Justin Beiber comment made me laugh lots so thank you! the phone will be put away and dusted down when she is old enough to handle it and/or when it has gone out of fashion!! Not looking forward to the conversation after school today.......

Good luck porky.