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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

If your child is at a pre-school where they have to attend every day...

44 replies

minko · 26/05/2010 13:31

how often do you have a day off? I don't like the idea of being tied to pre-school every single day from 9 - 11.30, but that's the way the one attached to my daughter's new school runs. I'd like to have a day off every now and again to go swimming or meet friends or whatever...

Is this going to be really frowned on??

OP posts:

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mnistooaddictive · 26/05/2010 13:40

If you tell them she is ill what can they do? It is bound to be the norm if you ask me. This is the problem with compulsory 5 days nursery. They could probably take extra children if they were flexible

mummyrex · 26/05/2010 13:42

I think that the routine often is very important for the child and really helps them to settle well.

I have had to take occasional days out for my pre-schooler and it really can cause a problem.

Perhaps a regular day would work better, eg take every Wednesday off?

Original poster

minko · 26/05/2010 13:47

I'd love to take every Friday off to have a mum and son day together... not sure how they would take it though.

OP posts:

Lindy · 26/05/2010 13:55

I would challenge the school on their rule that children have to attend five days a week; I am involved in pre-school education and my understanding is very clearly that we have to offer 'flexible' hours/times to suit individual families. We have children attending for full days, half days, full time, one morning a week etc - ie: whatever suits the family. In my experience we have a lot of similar issues with pre-schools attached to schools - eg: strongly implying to the parent that their child 'must' attend the pre-school in order to get a place at the school. This is just not true.

RunforFun · 26/05/2010 14:00

Thats interesting Lindy, I suspected it wasnt true, but whats the point arguing with the leader when clearly they dont want children attending for less than the expecetd 5 days.

Thats why I've decided not to send my 3 year old to the setting attached to the school that he may go to and keep him next year at the playgroup he attends currently.

dinkystinky · 26/05/2010 14:00

Only when ill I'm afraid. The preschool is attached to the local primary school and absence at preschool policy is the same as for the main school. If you want your DC to go to preschool for only part of the week you might want to look at private nurseries you can put him in Monday to Thursday instead - though that will cost more.

2plus2more · 26/05/2010 14:02

It really depends on the nursery I would think. Here in Aberdeenshire you have to take 5 days a week, otherwise you get put to the bottom of the criteria list for applications and quite likely won't get your 1st, or even your 2nd choice.

My son is in 5 days and I agree that it is rubbish to be tied to the 2.5 hour school run schedule. (mind you - it is worse if it's afternoons rather than mornings because 12.30pm-3pm ends up taking up your entire day!) We probably take about 1 day a month off. Sometimes for specific reasons - going away for the weekend or something, other times just because he's tired and we fancy a PJ day at home. The nursery have always been OK about it - even if I just phone in on the morning in question and say he's not coming in because he's slept in. Maybe if I did it once a week though they'd be mroe annoyed.

On the other hand a friend of his goes to a private nursery 2 days a week because of his parents' working hours and the nursery have made it pretty difficult for them. If there is ever even a slight issue they always blame it on the fact he is not in 5 days!

It really does depend on the nursery and the child - my son is bored stupid at nursery and is really not bothered about having the odd day off here and there, however if you have a child who really loves it and needs routine then it might be more detrimental for them.

2plus2more · 26/05/2010 14:05

I should add that even up here where they make it out to be a big deal (you must accept 5 days or you won't get a place etc...) pre-school education isn't actually compulsory and their attendance won't go on their school record.

going · 26/05/2010 14:14

My ds will start school nursery at 3ys 4ms. The school give each child five days, I will ease him into it starting with 3 days then 4 and if I see fit 5 days. My oldest only did fours days beofre starting school and my middle child only did 5 for the last term beofre school. Really can't see a problem as the school still gets the money. It has no effect on gettng a school place.

foureleven · 26/05/2010 14:17

Tell them she's ill? WTF? so then the next day the child will have to carry on the lie...

redskyatnight · 26/05/2010 14:33

Our pre-school encourages attendance every day. Partly because they have a topic each week which they build on through the days. Other than illness or taking a week off for a holiday I don't know anyone who's taken more than the very odd day off. I think the occasional one off would be more acceptable than a semi-regular absence (e.g. you always take one day off a fortnight).

foureleven · 26/05/2010 14:37

Im also not sure it would be good for your child to think they were special and got days off when theyre friends dont...

canella · 26/05/2010 14:43

wtf - we're talking about 3 and 4 year old kids here!!

"Im also not sure it would be good for your child to think they were special and got days off when theyre friends dont" - this comment flabbergasted me!!! are they not allowed to feel special and get a some special time with mum!! god forbid they were allowed to do something nice!

they are tiny kids - so what if they miss a few hours of pre school! they'll be at school for the next 12 years of their life - its not compulsory to attend pre school at this age!

Original poster

minko · 26/05/2010 14:44

Hmm, so the consensus is that 5 days means 5 days... maybe I'll re-consider the private one up the road then. Shame...

OP posts:

andiem · 26/05/2010 14:46

minko this is why ds2 goes to a private nursery he is there 2 days when I work and I want to spend the rest of the time with him
They are little for such a short time and then once they start school that is it

5ofus · 26/05/2010 14:54

Perhaps a community pre-school would be a better setting? My 3 yr old DS attends our community (voluntary committee run) pre-school and loves it. He usually does two sessions a week.

In September he'll be signed up for 5 sessions a week but if he's not there, he's not there. The staff like to know so they can plan but it's entirely up to us without any pressure or recording or raised eyebrows.

I agree - they're small for such a short time, why would you put them somewhere they HAVE to be.

It does seem that community pre-schools offer more flexibility than school attached nurseries or private nurseries.

Original poster

minko · 26/05/2010 14:57

Yes, I feel very aware that this is my last year with a pre-schooler! He starts school in a year and I want to spend a bit of time with him! (He is currently at a pre-school 3 mornings a week but we are moving house in the summer holiday.)

OP posts:

NoahAndTheWhale · 26/05/2010 15:00

When DD was at pre-school you could do as many sessions as you wanted and I felt no qualms with going on holiday. Didn't really take her out randomly though.

Now she is in a mixed nursery/reception class where she goes every day and I definitely wouldn't take her out unless she was ill. I also wouldn't take her out to go on holiday (also have DS in Year 1 at the same school) but I think I may be in a minority thinking that.

dinkystinky · 26/05/2010 15:03

Minko - for what its worth, DS1 is mornings only at preschool, lots of his friends are full day (he's one of the youngest in the year so only gets half days) and he loves it there (every morning during the week he wakes up and says "its nursery today isnt it?") - he's desperate to stay all day at preschool like his friends. So if your DS did go to the 5 a day preschool, you may find him objecting to staying home on a preschool day.

ovenchips · 26/05/2010 15:09

5 days does not mean 5 days at my DD's preschool!

She attends nursery (9-11.30) attached to a school and has had 5 terms there. For first 2 terms we only did 4 days and had Fridays off. There was never any problem about this. There have also been quite a few other days when we didn't make it (had something else on or my DD slept in). Again it's been absolutely no problem, nor did we have to 'ring in sick' on the morning.

Judging from the responses above this attitude varies but I would check with them first (or do you know another parent with their child there?) as your preschool might also be sensible.

Gawd, I do think preschools should remember they aren't statutory education.

FlightyButPolite · 26/05/2010 15:11

I'm also involved with a community pre-school and we definitely have no 'expectation' that children will take 5 sessions per week - even in the term before they start school. In fact I am not certain that they are allowed to put it as a criteria for entry - there are supposed to be no barriers to obtaining your free sessions - which come September change to 3 hours per day.

Having said that, my dd did 5 and loved it and when she started in reception was fine going in every day, whilst some of the other children had only done 4 mornings per week and couldn't work out why they had to go to school every day .

mummyrex · 26/05/2010 17:24

have you actually asked them minko?

CarGirl · 26/05/2010 17:28

The LEA funded ones get full funding for 5 days a week whether or not your child attends!

seeker · 26/05/2010 17:32

If you don't have to send him - for your work or mental health (!) then don;t send him. Pre school isn't compulsory, you know!

muggglewump · 26/05/2010 17:34

My DD went to a pre-school with the expectation you did the 5 days (we're in Scotland if it makes a difference and she started just before her 3rd birthday) BUT they were fine if she'd slept in, or was tired, or she had a day off.
Now this happened more frequently when she was younger, very rarely into her second year but the expectation was still that they attend 5 days, as they have a schedule, topics, trips out and don't work as a private nursery do.
You can't pay for it, it's just the free sessions that are available.

Really, if you aren't keen to at least work to the 5 days, I'd choose a different nursery.

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