Uneasy with a seperate school mums WhatsApp group

[Parentoftwo1989]

Looking for some perspective/advice. Does anyone else absolutely detest separate school mum WhatsApp group chats?
I purposely didn't want to join any spin-off chats outside of the main class one because I know they can breed drama, but I ended up in one with a small group of mums from my child's year.

Today, one of the mums sent me multiple voice notes asking if my child had been "pushed back" in his reading levels now that they've transitioned from Reception to Year 1. She mentioned she'd been gossiping with a couple of other mums in the chat, and apparently, their kids have been moved.

I didn't want to get into a competitive comparison, so I just said no, mine hasn't been, but I purposefully didn't tell her what specific book set or level he is on. I feel like a child's academic progress is private.

Then, another mum chimed into the group chat mapping out and assuming which kids are in what phonics groups together.
It has deeply annoyed me. Every child is different and develops at their own pace. I only care about and concentrate on my own child's progress, and I really don't think we should be using group chats to audit, compare, or gossip about where 5 and 6-year-olds are at with their reading.

I’m annoyed I didn’t say anything there and then and not to cause friction but also to set a boundary.

Am I overreacting for wanting to completely mute this chat and tune out? And should i have said something?

How do you guys handle competitive school gate mums without causing friction for your kids?

Also on another note my son is very close to one of the children and is has asked me ample times when this other boy can come over a play date. I asked the mum at least 4 times and she never responds yet responds on the main group. Obviously I will no longer be asking. But to say I’m disappointed is an understatement. Any advice on how handle this with my son when he asks again? Because ultimately I’ve tried and asking again is embarassing.

You are over reacting to everything why on earth so pushy on having this kid for a play date? You are heckling her she’s obviously not keen.

no need to be deeply annoyed about anything at this age!

@babasaclover. having a bad day? 😂

Honestly you sound a bit rude. Youve asked a question here and someone’s answered and you’ve given a rude reply immediately. You’ve gone into these relationships with these women already expecting confrontation and problems based on nothing except they are a group of women. and the way you talk about them obviously shows you don’t like them and have little respect for them. Maybe that’s why the other child’s mum doesn’t want a play date?
just tell dc you’re struggling to arrange it with the other boys mum, you’re not sure it’s going to work out this time but how about a play date with other child who you can arrange with.

regarding the WhatsApp group, maybe they’re are being competitive and gossipy, or maybe they are just talking about their dc. Either way, I don’t think this is a big deal, just mute the chat if you want to.