ds2 is 3and a half... he has happily been going to the nursery class at school since 2.9, and for the term before xmas hols, was full time. and happy. in sept he will be in recpt and as such have to be FT again.... right now he is v unhappy and sayin...

[SnappyLaGore]

i had thought id take him out weds afternoons for some 1:1 time (he is the middle child of boys aged 4, 3 and 2 and doesnt get much/enough attention)

but he just seems so unhappy to go and so content at home...

if i take him out for the last few months before he has to go FT, will that not just make sept extra hard for him?

what do you think?

er, dont shoot me, but i have a nanny at home who would be happy to take care of him, and spend a lot of (free) time at home too.... will be studying PT soon tho... so it wouldnt be difficult to have him at home.

but dont say anything like home ed coz i do NOT have the patience for that. i wish i were lovlier, but im not.

oh, i have quite dramatic ups and downs of PND or normal D or anxiety or something atm too. if that makes any difference to anything

oh gawd, what does that mean? you will have to be clearer with put downs im afraid

oh come on its not that dull is it?

can someone just say if they think taking him out of nursery untill he has to go into reception class in september is a good idea or a terrible one. and a word or two on why would be nice...

please??

Hello!
if it were me, i would persevere with full time for a couple of weeks.
can i ask, is nursery closed during school hols?

terrible, but then i don't know what i'm talking about. but your reasoning seems sound about the shock element of school.

thanks! (for answers)

yes, is closed in holidays.

DD1 is'nt keen on nursery, she goes 2 whole days a week and one half day, she gaets upset but i still send her and when i pich her up she tells me what a good time she has had.
If she was unhappy all day i would just send her for the mornings, i always tell dd if she still wants to come home at lunch time to let her group leader know and i will pick her up.

My DS has never been full of enthusiasm for nursery, even though he's been at nursery part time (3 days) since he was 7 months old. He's just started school, and is the same - says he doesn't want to go, then resigned to going, then chirpy coming out. For the last half term before Xmas he went 5 mornings a week, as I felt it was important for him to begin to grasp the "full week" concept, but even then I was perfectly happy to keep him off nursery for a day because one of his/my (limited) circle of friends had suggested a day out...

That's a long-winded way of saying I'd keep him out on Wed afternoons if you want - when he's in school there ain't no more of that (sob!!) - it's the full 14 year slog...!

Good luck!

Ah see now the problem will be that no matter what you do, he will have a looong holiday period to forget whatever plans you have put in place.
It will be like starting a fresh in September.
Another thing is that many schools do a deliberate slow introduction to full time school.
My boy went part time for a month before he went full time.
That helped to gently introduce him.
Does your intended school do this?

Have you spoken to the Nursery about how is when he's there? I think a full day for a 3.6 yo is very long especially as you and a nanny are at home.

I think 1:1 time would be lovely for him if it's with you and not just with your nanny. I'm sure she's lovely but if he wants mummy's attention then he should get it if you are home. He'll have to be f/t in sept and you are missing out and so he is. You asked btw.

You need to do what's right for you (and him), but FWIW - I think sometimes going every day (perhaps every day for the morning) is better in terms of moans because there's no "am I, aren't I going to nursery today". My DD1 was certainly less moany when she was going 5 mornings than 4 mornings.

ok. i hear all that.

yes, the weds afternoons are to be with me. we started this week and it was nice.

what im asking really is it would be a terrible idea to just pull him out (and then send him FT to reception in sept) given that he appears to be unwilling to go. hes 3, which is v young imo. theres nowt wrong with the place, he apparently settles and enjoys it when i go, but why am i making him do something he doesnt have to do?

i am doing it because he needs to go, FT, in sept and forever more and i want that to be easy on him. and im wondering now whether 'he needs to go to get used to it' is actually bolleaux, and in fact he needs to be at home where hes happy while he can and then maybe hell be more settled/confident/happy/bored at home to go in sept.

or is that bolleaux?

(apologies for lack of coherence btw)

If it was me, I would probably take him out. I did this with my dd when she was at playschool. She was quite happy when she started the attached nursery in the September.
I realise that your ds already in nursery so is a year ahead of what my dd was. She went to nursery half days so maybe that would make a difference to the situation too.
However, I still think I'd wait for September when he'll be that bit older and maybe more ready.

oh juuule, i think thats what i want to hear tbh. i was hoping id hear some things to help me believe that it wasnt a bad idea (for him)...

im assuming i am going to need to justify this/not sound bonkers to dp and the school... and tbh, not sounding bonkers is not really my forte. which i think is patently obvious to the world of mn, but there you go.

Sounds like it's your gut instinct, too and I don't believe in putting children through something they don't like just to 'toughen them up' for something else. Deal with September when it comes. He will most likely be fine.
I had all the warnings of "you're just putting of the inevitable" and "she'll think she can run away from anything she doesn't like". All not true.

you see, you are saying what my heart believes.

do you think i can just announce my plan and say 'and juuule agrees with me so it must be fine, you'll see' and that'll be that?

Hey, why not But I think I'd leave the bit about juuule out, don't think it would do your case much good
But seriously, just decide and do it.

he might or might not be ready in Sept - but he clearly isn't ready now, so I would take him out

succinctly put francoise. i shall use that.

Take him out. What possible good will six months of unhappiness do? And brace yourself - he might not be ready for school at 4-and-a-wee-bit this autumn ...

Are there other nurseries you can try? If he is unhappy at his nursery you should try to pin point why.

My son was miserable at the first one he went to - he never wanted to leave home - so after a little while I pulled him out while I found another. The new one really works well for him and he loves it. It's wonderful and a bit boho much more suitable for us both (not necessarily great preparation for the strict c of e primary coming at him in September either tho tbh).

good luck

Mine was like that.
Went 3 days a weeks from 2.6 to 3.1 and did not like it.
As we were moving abroad anyway, we removed him.
We had a 6 months break and when he started again in september (real school) he loved it.

The only helpful trick I would suggest is when they start school do regular playdates at home with school mates. Really works to build momentum.

update: (not ignoring posts, but think this will answer questions therein)

spoke to dp about taking him out, but was only a subject-broaching mention as he got home from work late and tired. his first response is that he doesnt like the idea... but we'll talk further.

then this morning he went in happy as larry. sat in the front of the car and held my hand all the way there, but went in happily, chatting to mates etc.

we do have playdates set up, i will be doing the weds afternoons thing. i think we will play it by ear... as long as he seems happy, ill keep sending him, but like you say ubergeek, theres nothing to be gained from making a 3yo unhappy for 5m before a long holiday and a fresh start anyway.

right. off to take the smallest one to gym tots now