3 year old starting preschool in September

[Mummydaddydaughter]

Hello,
My 3 year old dd is due to start preschool in September. She’s never been looked after by anyone other than me, my dh and my mum. She is generally quite a shy and timid little girl, who will often stick by me or dh in new places and around new people.
Me and dh both wanted her to experience a year of preschool before she started school, mainly to build her confidence and encourage her to play with other children her own age. We looked around a few different preschools and found a really lovely one, not too far away, which seemed to be the perfect mix between being a home for home environment and also a classroom type setting. We were really pleased with how the staff looked after the children and all the children seemed happy too.
A few days ago we went to one of their induction evenings where we were told about all the nice things they do. It all sounded lovely! However, our dd wasn’t so keen on the idea of going to preschool and wanted to be picked up the entire time by either me or dh. All the other children went off to play with the toys and the adults sat and listened to the talk, but our dd wouldn’t leave our sides and spent the whole time clinging onto us. She also wouldn’t speak to any of the members of staff or other children.
I now just feel really unsure as to whether this is right for her or not and whether we should put her into preschool in September. She has another induction type morning late July and so hopefully that goes better. I know September is a long time away and she might change a lot in these next few months and be ready for it. Do you think we should give it a go?
TIA xx

Yes, I think it's a great idea to give it a go. It sounds lovely/like an environment you're comfortable with and (based on my experience with my 3.5 year old DS) I think nursery/pre-school is really beneficial for socialising, early education through play and experience, etc... What's the absolute worst that could happen (you simply pull her out if it all goes wrong)?

Do you go to any playgroup type activities? If not, it might be worth doing that in the interim so that your DD can build confidence with groups of children while you're there with her.

Nursery will probably seem less overwhelming for your DD without so many unfamiliar adults (like at the induction evening)... children often seem to settle better with their peers! We recently attended an open evening at the nursery my DS has attended for a couple of years and he clung to us simply because he didn't know the other parents!

If it seems as though your DD is very reluctant you could.always ask about easing her in gradually (an hour when you stay, 2 hours where you then leave her, followed by leaving her for a whole morning, for example...). However, some children protest initially and then settle in very quickly once their parent has gone. The nursery will have strategies for handling this and it would be worth a chat so that they can talk you through it and reassure you.

I was also going to suggest easing her in gradually if that's an option eg 1-2 days a week to start.

It certainly sounds like she will benefit from the experience of preschool and I'm sure she'll settle in. They all do!

Yes preschool is a brilliant place. My two sons have both been through them and I'm also a committee member for my youngest's old one. Because of my DBS checks etc I was a bank staff volunteer while covid kept a few staff off and so I spent quite a few months in and out - what I really noticed was the difference in the younger and newer children over the months. Some of them come charging in and just settle. Some need a lot of hugs and encouragement - I remember twins that cried at drop off, first session we just read books one on one, did quiet things with them. Second session got them to draw round their hands to take home. Next time I saw them a few weeks later they were full on art and crafts, painting, drawing, deciding what they wanted to do, choosing their fruit at snack time, really joining in.

The ones going up to school in September do specific group tasks, some bits of reading, lots of prep for starting school and really it does help them.

Sounds like she'll benefit from it really! Ease into it, speak to the teacher about this and I'm sure in a month or two she'll be great

She will probably love preschool once she has settled in and got to know some of the teachers/nursery workers. It is incredibly valuable for children social development. Ideally start with just half days e.g. 3 hours every morning, rather than full days which might be a bit overwhelming at first.

Hi,
Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I know it’ll be beneficial, it’s one of the reasons we wanted her to attend in the first place, and it sounds as though preschool really helps them with social development. In response to a question, we attend swimming class every Saturday morning however it’s more focused on swimming than the social aspect. She is an only child too, however has lots of cousins who we see regularly but none of them are the same age as her. So I do think preschool will be good for her. Do u think she will cry?

Get ready for her to cry I would say. It's brutal but I don't think they're ever upset for long. My DD was hysterical her first week or so but they said she had stopped by the time I was in the car park! It's done wonders for my DD who is very shy. She absolutely loves it and adores her key worker. Like yours she had never been looked after by anyone other than us or my mum but she settled really quickly and is desperate to go every day now!

Do you not go to playgroups?

She probably will cry (it broke my heart) but the benefits really outweigh any initial upset. Good luck and would love an update when she's settled