just started pre-school toilet anxiety

[jamba]

DS has just started pre-school and is finding it quite tough particularly regarding toilets. He has been potty trained for about 6 weeks and rarely has accidents when with me or dh. He is asking to go to the toilet all the time whilst there and a lot of this is is not a genuine need to go iykwim (he has started doing this when we go to a new place and I just put up with taking him about 5 times etc and then he relaxes ). At pre-school, they take him to the toilet and he either does nothing or a tiny amount and then gets in a real state, has an accident and I am phoned to come and get him - sad face for ds, don't mind going to get him etc.

Forgot to say- can anyone help? Offer any reassurance? Been in same boat?

I think a lot of children think they need the loo when they are feeling a bit unsure. .. sometimes its when there is a change like, tidy up time, registration, circle time, etc. Can't understand the need for you to go and get him if he has an accident though.. do you take spare clothes with him just in case...

It doesn't sound as if the school is dealing with this well at all.

My daughter just started pre-school, barely potty-trained, and the school has dealt with it very well. Much better than I have, in fact

You have to take him out of school when he has an accident? What kind of message is that sending him? Sounds like the school are handling it very badly.

Sorry, I didn't write the original message very clearly. The first day he was there, he obviously needed a wee and I think had a minor accident (i.e. infact he needed big wee but only let a bit leak out). The staff changed him into new pants and trousers. He then remained in a distraught state because he needed a big wee still! I'm quite glad they phoned me as they said that he wouldn't accept any reassurance from them (not surprising as he'd only met them that day) and was v. upset. When I arrived, he made me take him straight to the toilet and looked extremely relieved! Second day, he let them take him to the toilet but he didn't do more than a dribble. He was absolutely bursting by the time he came out and very irritable. I know it's very early days for him but just wondered whether anyone had experienced similar?

DD did this for a whole half term - sorry not a good news story, they were really good and just constantly changed her without mentioning it.

This term I bought a whole new set of pull up leggings as she likes to be independent but isn't fab with clothes.

Then... she decides the nursery toilets are 'dirty' - have taken a lot of talking to her...

Last few weeks have been OK - she goes 3 days and is down to about 1 accident a week.

She'd very fragile though and although has been potty trained since January she is still not reliable and any little upset or change is a disaster.