Dd 3 keeps telling me she doesn't like school :(

[fedupwithmorningbattles]

My Dd started nursery in sept to begin with she was on half days which she seemed ok with, saying every now and than that she doesn't like school but didn't seem too bothered when she was going in. She has now been full time for about 3 weeks and now she tells me everyday that she doesn't want to go she doesn't like it- she doesn't like her new teacher-and today she said that her friends don't like her and don't want to play with her :(

I am trying to take into account that she has been by my side since birth as I finished work before she was born and decided to stay at home for various reasons, and also that the long days may be catching up with her but she is eating hardly anything while she is there and is constantly telling me that her tummy hurts (although this could be down to her v poor diet at the moment).

Is anyone else having similar at the mo? think I just need a little reassurance as the school tell me she is fine. She was raring to go now she dawdles when it is time to go in.

Does she have to do full days? Could you cut it back down to half days?

I would ask her teacher to watch her at break to see whether she plays with other children .perhaps if there is a child she plays with you could invite them home to play

How old is she?

DS has been like this during September and October. He was fine for the first week, but then started saying every day that he didn't want to go to preschool. His first words every morning were "I don't want to go today", and many days he has cried all the way there. I have had to put him in a pushchair to take him, because otherwise he sits on the pavement and refuses to walk any further. Like you, I have been with him constantly since birth, apart from the odd trip swimming or to the park with his DH. I do sympathise with what you are going through because I have found the whole thing heartbreaking!

We are lucky that his preschool staff are absolutely lovely and have been really supportive. They say he has a wonderful time when he is there, and I truly believe them because they are honest people and he is always happy and smiling when I pick him up, with something new to show me.

DS is still a bit ambivalent about going, but he no longer cries in the mornings and does seem a bit more positive.

The following things have helped a bit:

1. Preschool staff have made a huge effort to find specific things for him to do that he will particularly enjoy.
2. Preschool staff have asked DS to take things in to show them - pictures of what he has done at home etc. and if he talks lots about a particular toy, they ask him to bring it in the next day. This helps me in the mornings, because I can say, "but we need to go today because Eleanor wants to see your robot toy"
3. Shameless bribery has worked quite well - e.g. "if you go to preschool we can make biscuits when you get home"
4. DS seemed to be worrying about missing out on what was happening at home when he wasn't there, so now I tell him exactly what I will be doing, e.g. "today I will be changing the sheets on the beds and you hate that because it's so boring for you, so I'll do it while you're having fun at preschool"

I am hugely in favour of home education, so sending DS every day has been very hard for me, but the preschool is lovely and he does seem to be having a lot of good experiences - once I can get him there! I have told DS that I am happy for him to be properly home-educated and that we will talk about it in a month's time, but that if he goes to preschool at all he must go every day; he can't pick and choose which days he wants to go.

Sorry for such a long post! I think so much depends on how sympathetic the staff are... good luck...

Yes missing out on what is happening at home seems to be a major concern. I made books for the girls about them going to preschool, took photos of them there etc, took photos of what would be happening at home (babies sleeping - ha ha I wish, me working/ cleaning). We would read it with them at home and send it in with them. Dd2 still hated it, but was fine when she started school. Hope she enjoys it more soon.

DS (now 7.5) never liked nursery (he went 1 full day) but he didn't mind pre-school too much (2 mornings), he didn't love either though.

DD (just 4) loved pre-school the first term she went and then didn't like it anymore (2 mornings). They say she has a lovely time? She comes out happy and says she had a good time, but she would not want to come here again?

The have new sheets where they mark what DC have been doing and over the last 2 weeks I noted that 'talking to friends/adults' and playing with friends' was not marked anymore and DD said doesn't play with anyone. DD has become shyer over the last weeks and doesn't seem to be so easy going anymore with other DC.