A possibly silly question about starting nursery.

[Grandhighpoohba]

DS is due to start nursery next month, 2 days after his third Birthday (we are in Scotland, so 5 half days at nursery from 3)

My question is, will it be OK at nursery if he is still throwing the odd tantrum, or will they think this is behaviour problem? He is my PFB so I'm not sure what is normal! When we went for the open day, all the kids behaved like angels. He still has tantrums and hits out, but we are trying to get it under control with time-outs. I think the problem is that he hasn't spent a lot of time with children his own age apart from his little sister, who he is not great with. He is otherwise bright and lovely!

TIA

I think it would be a very odd nursery that didn't expect the odd tantrum!

tbh, you'll probably find that he behaves quite differently there to at home. Peer pressure can do wonders. Mine eats better, throws fewer wobblies and is generally a little angel (except when he's not ). I get a different child back each night to the one they keep telling me about! Mine screams when he can't get what he wants or manipulate me into doing something by whining or pestering. The nursery child helps tidy up, hugs other children, plays nicely and only occasionally hits other kids over the head with toys!

That's reassuring.

They'll be used to a range of behaviour. DD's never been a tantrummer luckily (though makes up for it in other ways) but has just finished preschool and starts primary in September. I've helped out at her preschool a lot and you see children that tantrum a lot, some that never do and most are somewhere in the middle. Any decent nursery provider will be well used to dealing with the idiosyncracies of small children. And they should set out quite clearly how they deal with these sorts of things. DD's preschool like to encourage talking, quiet thinking and apologising. Which has a mixed success rate.

Remember to tell the Nursery that he has them. There is nothing worse than not being told and when speaking to the parent at the end of the day for them to say 'oh yes he does that all the time'. They will thank you for telling them and try to let them know what triggers them (tiredness, hungry, thirsty etc or just because he wants to!!). Any good nursery will be used to all types of behaviour but, please, speak to them to try to work out how best to handle them. Some children don't like being touched but will respond to being spoken to, others like a cuddle and some just need some time on their own to work it all out in their minds.

Hopefully, they will get fewer and fewer (especially at Nursery) as he finds his feet and fits in with all that is going on but you could still have to deal with them at home.

Believe me, children do behave differently at home to how they do at Pre-School....:)

My DD2 has tantrums. She has been at same nursery since she was 1 so they are used to them and many of the children are the same (though I would echo what moonbells said - she is way better at nursery than home) . I speak to her keyworker regularly so that we are using same sort of strategies and I am very confident that they deal with them in a positive and calm manner.

Thanks all. I feel a bit more relaxed about it now. Hopefully he will grow out of them soon anyway! [foolishly optimistic]