Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

Flip

Original poster

Inappropriate sexual talk at nursery - WWYD?

14 replies

ilovefatbrian · 08/06/2011 20:19

My DD, aged 4, came home from nursery today, and amongst the usual chatter, she said "X said to me today that he'll put a willy in my front bum". X is a (horrible) boy aged 4. I am really disturbed, she hasn't even started school yet. Am I over-reacting? WWYD? It is a really nice little day nursery, and I am surprised that, if the staff had heard, that they didn't say anything to me. Should they have done? I am inclined to ask them to keep him away from my DD until she leaves in 6 weeks. DD isn't concerned, I just said "that is a very very rude thing to say, and you must never say that to anyone - X is a very naughty boy". I didn't over-react to her, but the more i think about it the crosser I get.

OP posts:

catsareevil · 08/06/2011 20:27

I think that it would be appropriate for you to discuss this worth the nursery. This isnt the kind of thing a 4 year old should know about.

catsareevil · 08/06/2011 20:29

Sorry, that should be 'with' not 'worth'

cookielove · 08/06/2011 20:30

I don't think it is appropriate either, and would talk to the teachers, however they may have absolutely no idea this happened as they can't hear every conversation that is held between the children, so this maybe why they didn't tell you. I really don't like that you called him horrible , and i wouldn't of called him naughty, hes 4 not 14 and probably had no idea what he was saying.

Portofino · 08/06/2011 20:32

He's 4, he could have a baby brother or sister and have asked about how that came to happen. That description doesn't sound that off the wall in that situation. Sounds like something I would have said - though actually I would have used better words.....This could be nothing at all....

TheCrackFox · 08/06/2011 20:37

It might be worth speaking to the nursery about it.

However, if he has older brothers or sisters he might well have heard it from them. I explained in quite simple language (because he asked) to my thne 5yr old DS how babies were made. The boy in question might just know the "facts of life" but doesn't know that he shouldn't really talk about it to all and sundry.

Original poster

ilovefatbrian · 08/06/2011 20:39

Sorry, cookie, the "horrible" remark wasn't in relation to today's comment. He really is not a nice child, there's no other way to describe him. I didn't call him that to my DD though, but "naughty" is the strongest way I could put it to her to get the point across about it being wrong. I appreciate the teachers might not have heard, but my DD said something about one of the teachers telling him off for speaking like that, so she implied one of them did hear it, but i can't be sure. Thanks cats, I shall defo mention it to them.

OP posts:

TiggyD · 12/06/2011 15:33

What he said was a very childish way of putting it. It's not social services bad but you might want to chat with the staff. The staff can only really react after it has been said though.

coloursoftherainbow · 12/06/2011 19:05

I would be upset if that was said to my child.

Definitely speak to the nursery staff

supersewer · 20/06/2011 22:19

I would be surprised if they had spoken to you, if they were going to bring it up with anyone it would be the boys mother, not you.

Greythorne · 20/06/2011 22:23

I love MN. There's no such thing as a horrible child here. Every child is a delight, and the badly behaved ones are just:

-- bored

-- highly intelligent

-- lumbered with parents with poor parenting skills

-- any combination thereof

The OP says the kid in question is horrible, but no, he can't possibly be.

purepurple · 29/06/2011 20:48

No child of 4 is horrible, greythorne. That's an awful thing to say of any child, whatever their age.
Unless it's someone else's child, never your own

Greythorne · 29/06/2011 21:13

I know some really objectionable, whiney, selfish, aggressive 4 year olds. Would not describe them as horrible, but they are not pleasant.

mrz · 09/07/2011 14:03

I would report the incident to the staff and they should record it as a Child Protection Incident (sorry but this horrible child may be in need of protection)

Scathac · 19/07/2011 21:38

I agree with mrz. Have done this myself in respect of a reception class child. that's why schools have CP officers. they can monitor the situation - this may be a part of a bigger picture, or it may be, as others have suggested, nothing to worry about. either way, you need not feel you are having to deal with this on your own.

Flip