Husband doesn't want me to go ahead with termination

[tootiefruitie6]

Hi there, this isn't my first post so apologies but I'd love some advice and to know peoples views. I recently found out I am pregnant which was a massive shock as our two children are both IVF babies. I have made the sad decision to end the pregnancy as our children are only 1 and 2 and I adore them but find it totally exhausting. Plus I have only just gone back to work and am enjoying it and feeling like I have a tiny bit of me back, especially after breastfeeding both for a year each. I am suffering bad morning sickness, and I had tough pregnancies and a very tough birth with my second child. And I have been left with some bladder issues. I just feel psychologically I can't go through it all again. And that I wouldn't manage three, especially with no family nearby and I just want to focus on the two amazing children I have. I will of course be sad to end it and I am scared of regret or guilt but I feel this is the best thing for me. However my husband is very against me ending it and really wants me to keep it. He feels it's a little miracle and that I should go ahead. We argued about it easier and he told me he would never forgive me if I end it and that I am a murderer and evil. Obviously this really upset me and has played on my mind a lot. I have tried to consider his view too but I just can't have a baby just for him and the idea of going through with it fills me with so much anxiety and panic. What would you do and am I a bad person if I go ahead against his wishes? Thanks

clearly it doesn’t work both ways, because the OP can have an abortion. Which was the point.

Yes it does work both ways because BOTH of them are going to suffer , regardless of them outcome. It takes two to create a life. Why is her husband not allowed to have feelings also? No regard to his state of mine.
its her body yes but hes allowed to have feelings for fuck sake.
If op didn't want to be in this situation of having an abortion then she should have exercised precaution, just as much as her husband. It baffles me how two people managed to get married and continued to proceed to have unprotected sex , without even knowing each others stance on abortion beforehand. How have they never had the conversation regarding what would happen if she ended up pregnant again.
some people are lowlifes suggesting she sould get an abortion and lie to her husband that she miscarried. What an absolute disgusting scumbag thing to do , to fake having had a miscarriage.

It baffles you?

they believed they were infertile. In that case, an unwanted pregnancy wouldn’t happen.

DH and I haven’t discussed it for years. I am on the pill, we have had our two kids, which is what we wanted. If he called me evil and a murderer if the pill failed and I wanted an abortion, I would consider leaving him anyway, because that language is entirely unacceptable.

All men are aware that, once the sperm has entered the woman, then their decisions are over. For women, that is not the case, because abortion is an option. Men have sex in the full knowledge of this. Get over it.

At the end of the day , everyone has a right to have an opinion and have feelings on a topic. No one should be forcing their opinion which clearly alot of have regarding this subject. This a discussion between a husband and wife and nobody on here should be making one feel inferior than the other. They both have feelings and both will suffer as a result of the decision , whichever way it goes.

Bullshit. It happens and surely op isn't that stupid. Just because a couple use ivf assistance , dosent mean they are completely infertile and incapable of ever getting pregnant. Do you realise how common it is for women to have a 'surprise ' pregnancy after using ivf assistance. It's not impossible. It took us 17 years to naturally get pregnant. Am I just another one of those 'impossible' statistics your clearly talking about

I never said it was impossible. I said that they believed they were infertile and that therefore sex wouldn’t result in pregnancy.

Please don’t call OP stupid. That’s a PA.

It won't be a happy marriage.