Medical abortion, scared about what I'll see

[Throwaway38]

Hiya,
I've never posted on here but I've read some threads about medical abortion on here & people's stories have been incredibly comforting!

I'm currently 3+4 weeks (from conception that is, Ive not been going by the first date of my last period), got a scan booked in for this Friday & will be able to pick up the tablets then. I've worked out exactly when I'll be taking the 2nd dose of tablets (due to work/childcare/when partner will be home to help!), at which point I'll be 4+5 weeks.

The main reason I'm here is because I'm absolutely terrified of seeing the fetus when it passes. I'm not worried about the pain as I like to think I have a high pain threshold & I'm very certain on my decision (although i still feel guilty & emotional), but I'm so scared that I'll see the fetus & won't be able to unsee it or that it'll make me feel so much worse in terms of my emotional wellbeing.

People on here are so helpful but I feel like this aspect of medical abortion isn't spoken about much & if anyone could give me truthful, honest answers (please be TMI if needs be!) so I know what to expect & prepare myself, I'd be so grateful, thank you!

I'm ok, it's day 4 now since I took the tablets. I have been passing clots everyday until yesterday and now it's just moderate bleeding. I wish there was a way to know that it has worked if that makes sense. How are you?

Passed a small clot and a bit of blood but really nothing to talk about. I don't think it's worked :( just feels like a period now?

That's how it will start. According to the leaflet I was given, some people don't even pass clots so I imagine it is working for you, perhaps more to come. I passed my biggest clot the day after I took the tablets whilst I was 'pushing' on toilet

Hi, I'm just jumping in if I may.
My phone consultation isn't for another week, but I'm anxious for it to be over with, to feel better, and a bit scared of the process.
Your thread here is definitely reassuring!

It's totally normal to feel scared of the process. The unknown and anxiety can be agonizing, it definitely was for me but all was ok on the day. I am here if you need to talk.

Thank you, I really appreciate that.
I've told two of my friends, and this is a decision DH and I are in full agreement on.
I'm not sure if I should talk to my line manager about it, because I assume I'll need some time off work?

OK, so day after termination and I feel great, heavy period like bleeding, I am now convinced it all went OK. I didn't bleed before I passed the pregnancy, I just felt something expel, a small clot then bled properly, I felt shivery then after about 30 mins I felt great, all bad cramping stopped and was just sore period cramping ( worse than normal as was still sore, despite all the meds and hw bottle) I spoke to a doctor as was concerned it seemed to easy? She seemed to think that it should have worked because of the proper bleeding. I suppose I will find out properly at the test in two weeks but I really feel great, nausea that's plagued me for a week has gone,my boobs are getting less sore. I was nearly having panick attacks because I was so scared but it seems to have all been fine. For me, the cramping didn't start until 3 hours after the initial insertion of tablets so I took the other two under my tongue, after 15 mins, the cramps ramped up, I sat on the toilet and that when I felt my body expel something. Hope this helps :)

@CherryM I'm glad it went so smoothly for you! That's so reassuring

Thanks everyone for the messages of support yesterday, didn't really understand how to reply, was a bit put of it yesterday haha.

Glad alll went ok and thanks for sharing your experience it helps us all @CherryM