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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

Surgical abortion/D&E procedure questions - Urgent. It's tomorrow.

35 replies

Frif · 02/08/2022 20:23

I'm having the procedure done through BPAS. I can't get a clear answer on this. How long will I have to stay at the treatment centre?

I'm having a complete and utter nightmare (have another thread here about it all), babysitter has just told me she cannot stay with my children all day as planned.

It's a 3 hour round trip to the centre. My appointment is at 9:30am. Can I expect to be home by 4pm?

My time off request was approved but has now been denied. Will I be OK to work a 12 hour shift (average 11 miles walking, on my feet all day) on Friday?

I am absolutely terrified and unsupported. Please someone just tell me it will be OK.

OP posts:
Vebrithien · 02/08/2022 20:28

I'm sorry I can't answer your questions, but I didn't want to leave you without anyone answering.

Do you know if the procedure is under sedation, or a general anaesthetic?

I am sorry you are in this position. Do your work actually know the reason you asked for the time off? If so, and they have refused permission, they are discriminating against a protected characteristic (maternity)

BlanketsBanned · 02/08/2022 20:30

How are you getting to the clinic, are you having a general anaesthetic or a local and sedation . It will depend on what time you have your procedure, what sedation you have, if you bleed much , the clinic will not let you go until you have passed urine, will give you something to eat and drink and are happy for you to go home, how are you getting home. I wouldnt guarantee you are home by 4 and would take the next day off to rest.

ThirdAidKit · 02/08/2022 20:30

First of all - it will be ok.

Tomorrow may be logistically difficult, but everything will be ok.

Whether you are back by 4pm will depend on if they take you through on time. Procedure itself is 20 minutes ish, then time to come round from anaesthetic, half an hour? Then you have to wait for a bit while they check you’re alright.

As for walking around at work all day Friday I was physically absolutely fine the day after, no pain, bleeding or anything, but it’s hard to know as everyone is different.

MintJulia · 02/08/2022 20:36

I don't know how far gone you are, but assuming 10 weeks or later, you really shouldn't be working the next day. Probably not all day on your feet on Friday either.

Can you have a word with HR. They cannot expect you to work once they know you will have some kind of a sedative. Tell them you have a scheduled minor op and cannot cancel.

Hannahthepink · 02/08/2022 20:36

Mine was a number of years ago now, but I went in at about 8.30am and came out mid-afternoon. I think it would depend a little on how busy they are and what position in the queue you go in though.
I worked the day after (in a shop so on my feet all day) and I felt fine in general, although I do remember wishing that I had booked it off as I felt quite emotional and hormonal.

RiaOverTheRainbow · 02/08/2022 20:37

If your dc are school age could you send them to after school club? Or are there any friends or neighbours who'd help out for a few hours? You can tell them you're getting a root canal if you want.

If you're not well enough for work then call in sick, though they shouldn't be denying leave for a time-sensitive medical issue anyway.

Get your favourite comfort snacks and TV ready, and take care of yourself. It'll be ok x

Original poster
Frif · 02/08/2022 20:48

I'm having general anesthesia, started cervical prep this morning.

OP posts:
Gotanygrapes84 · 02/08/2022 21:20

I had one at 15w 3d a few years ago, D&E under general.

i entered the clinic at 9ish and was out by 1pm.; the actual procedure was really quick and I recovered quickly. I was off my tits on diazepam for the day though, definitely couldn’t have driven or done anything too strenuous. They will want to monitor you and talk through how to look after yourself at home and things to watch out for. Do you have a friend or neighbour who could be on standby in case you get “held up”?

as for working the next day, consider you may need a day off. Just call in sick if so. You don’t need to tell them why if you don’t have to. I felt very hormonal and out of whack the next day but also an overwhelming sense of calmness knowing the situation was over and done with.

wishing you all the best.

Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 00:26

Thank you every one. Your support means a lot.
I am so scared.

OP posts:
MindfulBear · 03/08/2022 01:57

Remember. You will be ok.
How many weeks are you?
You will go in first thing and most people are out by early-mid afternoon but the drugs may mean you are spaced out for a while so probably shouldn't drive for 2 days. You may need to call in sick on Friday .

When you go in Tell them you'd really like to be out by 130pm due to childcare and hopefully you will be seen first.

Best of luck. You will be ok.

1990s · 03/08/2022 07:13

It’ll be over soon and it will all be easier than you expect in my experience. We’re all with you.Flowers

latelydaydreams · 03/08/2022 07:39

Thinking of you today.

It’ll be ok, please don’t be scared.

I’ve had a few of this type of op after miscarriages.

I was physically fine very quickly afterwards.

If GA, they say be cautious for 24 hrs- no driving or lifting kettles.

Timewise 4pm may be a struggle. Depends on recovery.

Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 09:31

I'm in the waiting room and I feel so sick.

Glad to see that I'll most likely feel physically fine quickly. I think the sadness will take a while to go.

OP posts:
Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 10:25

The waiting is killing me

OP posts:
Vebrithien · 03/08/2022 12:22

I do hope that everything has gone smoothly.

You are not alone. Sending a gentle hug and handhold.

latelydaydreams · 03/08/2022 12:37

Thinking of you @Frif .

Hope you’re doing ok. Flowers

RagzRebooted · 03/08/2022 12:45

Hope it goes OK for you.
I had one under sedation about 6 years ago. Was only 7 weeks. There was a lot of sitting around, the actual procedure was quick and I was out within 2 hours afterwards. I had a lot of cramping pain after, but I had a coil fitted at the same time. I went to work the next day and was fine.
I didn't have any negative emotions about it really, so can't advise on that as it's so individual. I'm a very pragmatic person!

Virtual handhold for you though xx

Hannahthepink · 03/08/2022 13:24

Hope everything is going as well as you can hope for today. Take it easy and don't rush yourself x

Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 13:26

I'm 17 weeks Sad

ive been sitting here for 4 hours and nothing, nobody has spoken to me or given me any information.

The waiting is torture. I'm so

I took mifepristone over 24h ago and still need to take the other one. I don't know how long that needs to work before the procedure

I'm not going to be home by 4pm am I

OP posts:
Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 13:27

Please excuse typos etc.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 03/08/2022 13:33

You're not going to be home by 4 if it's a 90 minute journey and you're still waiting, sweetheart.
Ask someone what's going on x

Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 14:24

Misoprostol taken

I'm frightened. The cramps are quite painful already

A school mum im friendly with has agreed to keep my DC until 7pm so that is a relief

OP posts:
Original poster
Frif · 03/08/2022 14:27

Im sorry if I'm oversharing but I have no one else to talk to

OP posts:
latelydaydreams · 03/08/2022 14:31

We’re here for you @Frif .

Glad you’ve managed to sort the DC’s.

It’ll be ok. I’ve had both tablets and surgical. All were ok.

KitchenTable87 · 03/08/2022 14:41

Just here to send support, too. You WILL be fine and this will be over soon. Flowers