He’s had a vasectomy and I’m pregnant

[OverThinkingUnderDoing]

I’ve been seeing someone for about 6 months, thought all was going really, really well. We’re both divorced, 2 dc each and neither of us want more. He had a vasectomy after his youngest was born 8 years ago (he’s definitely not lying about this due to a funny anecdote that all his mates love to remind him about).

I’ve been feeling really under the weather for the last few weeks. Did a CV test, all fine. It was only at the supermarket this morning that I suddenly thought maybe I’m pregnant and grabbed a test just to put my mind at ease. I’ve always had irregular periods, not had one since September but that’s nothing unusual.

Just did the test and I’m pregnant. I could fucking scream. I’ve just had the worst year of my entire life, meeting this man is the only good thing that’s happened to me in years.

I know what I’ve got to do. I just don’t want to do it and wanted to vent somewhere.

omg what a nightmare situation .. how do you feel OP..

Hello OP - you are right, my response was probably not one of the more helpful ones, especially given the complexity of the situation you are dealing with.

It is of course perfectly within the realm of possibility for a vasectomy to fail, and also perfectly reasonable for that side of things not to be even remotely your focus right now.

Please accept my sincere apologies.

Hope you’re doing ok OP, a friend of mine conceived her third child after her DH had a failed vasectomy. I hope you can get your head around your decision soon

Don’t be daft sightlinesandsolutions, nothing to apologise for.

I’ve done two of the ClearBlue tests, both say pregnant 3+ weeks. Ffs. I’m seeing him on Saturday so I’ll tell him then. It doesn’t seem right telling him over the phone. I’m so fucking angry with him even though I know it’s not his fault. Also pretty sure he’s going to think it’s someone else’s. What a bloody mess this is.

@OverThinkingUnderDoing is there any way you could get a dating scan before Saturday so that you know more what you're options are and what time frame looking at? When I conceived my surprise fifth baby, my mw got me in really quickly so that we knew how far along I was

*your

How do you feel OP? I know it can happen. What a shock for you though. Do what’s right for you & your family. Good luck.

I dont think i could wait until the weekend to tell him

Shit, that’s difficult.

Would you want to keep the baby or are you set on no more children?

Oh OP sorry about this hope you can make it to the weekend (I couldn't) no chance of driving to him!!

I know it's a tricky one but he might surprise you as it's happened now.

Wishing you well

Best wishes to you @OverThinkingUnderDoing and your dp. I guess some babies are just meant to be.

Whatever you decide, I hope things work out well for all of you.

I wish I could go up sooner but he’s a 90 minute drive away and I’ve got my dc. He’s got his dc until Saturday morning so no chance of asking him to come down either.

for you op. It's a shock, so be kind to yourself tonight.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope he is supportive in your decision. If you want to end it I'd get an appointment booked in ASAP as theirs is probably a wait rather than waiting until you see him. That's assuming the final appointment would be after you see and speak to him of course. Then you can cancel if you change your mind but aren't delayed if you don't.

I'd also recommend the Nuva ring for afterwards. So easy.

*there is

Probably a waiting list (so many typos 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Ahh I’m sorry OP, do you have any idea what you might do?

Sorry OP, that's really rough

I genuinely don’t know what to do at all. If I was set on having an abortion I don’t think I’d actually tell partner at this point. Financially I could afford a baby, I don’t know about emotionally.

Have a Think about it and talk it through

@OverThinkingUnderDoing I can tell you're in a huge dilemma, but I agree with you about not sharing it with him if you think you might not continue, you've only been with him 6 months, it's very early days.

If you ended up staying together though and you didn't tell him, could you live with that?

Im sorry you are in this situation. big Hugs
No decision you make will be the wrong one because you will have chosen what works for you

I think I’d have to tell him. It would always be there otherwise, and wouldn’t feel right to me.

I got pregnant as a surprise at your age. Different circumstances but similar first reaction! It’s all worked out ok though.

It’s a bugger. Just take some time, think. MN will help.

Everything will be ok one way or the other in the end