AIBU for expecting a surgical abortion?

[Georgeoftheinternet]

Due to this virus I will have to terminate my pregnancy at home. This scares me because I don’t want the whole process and flushing everything down the toilet, plus bleeding for weeks. 3/100 don’t fully terminate.

Apologies if you are struggling to get pregnant. Everyone’s lives are different.

@Georgeoftheinternet

So far this has happened: 3 years of absent periods from coming of long term contraception. Went to the doctor. Scan said PCOS. Blood were ok, some where out. Went to gyno as the normal medication to induce bleeding didn’t work. Went to gyno and finally got an appointment for the camera. Couple of months before the periods stated, but lasted for one day. Gyno wanted to check I didn’t have scarring and was worried about the lack of shedding (15 years). All good. Lockdown happened. Lost 10kg. My acne chin has gone, but could be due to cream. Period started to last 1.5. Periods regular but one was 20 days after the last.

Bipolar, had sex as I was sure I wanted to get pregnant.

Did a pregnancy test 17 days after - like was straight away pregnant, shocked.

Told dad, he deleted the app so he’s not interested. This was a deciding factor.

Mood has now worsened, didn’t Think it was viable as single mum, no support, no dad.

Booked in for the abortion chat, phone died and took me three days to get it fixed at Apple (needed new phone).

Tried to make another appointment online, waited a few days and thought why haven’t they called me back. I probably didn’t get the verification letters right.

Made a new appointment and was expecting a call today.

My builder called me as he hadn’t received payment. Call lasted a few seconds and in that time I had a voicemail from the clinic. Normally if I get a double call I can choose to end either call, this didn’t happen.

I lost battery so went to charge my phone, missed the second call and housemate needed help with something (which I could have said no to).

As I’ve been feeling really sick and tired, the strong evening piss positive line (that was before the positive line), history of twins in the family.... I kinda feel like I’m getting all these signs.

You may not understand but it’s just my reasoning. I feel like this is one last “sign” and if it’s a single pregnancy I will know to abort. Sure it’s harder having twins etc, but leave me to it.

Here is where you said you had sex because I was sure I wanted to get pregnant

*"Bipolar, had sex as I was sure I wanted to get pregnant.

Did a pregnancy test 17 days after - like was straight away pregnant, shocked.

Told dad, he deleted the app so he’s not interested. This was a deciding factor.

Mood has now worsened, didn’t Think it was viable as single mum, no support, no dad."*

[quote Georgeoftheinternet]@MitziK it’s less risky to have a surgical IMO because more chance of complete removal and not weeks of bleeding which it’s bad for someone with low iron like myself.
Plus mental trauma for me.[/quote]
That's your opinion, but it's not factually correct. Your risk of haemorrhage is much higher with a surgery. Medical termination is a lower risk procedure, and a better option financially and in terms of your recovery.

I'm sorry you find the idea of it traumatic. Have you had any counselling around your decision?

As for the service being offered usually, I don't think that's the case. It would be very unusual for a surgical termination to be offered to someone in the early stages of pregnancy, for all the reasons PP have mentioned. And besides that, the NHS isn't running "business as usual" services at the moment. Pandemic, and whatnot.

The bottom line is, abortions are rarely pleasant. If you're concerned about the trauma of passing the pregnancy, could you maybe benefit from giving your decision a little more thought?

Have you checked with your local abortion clinics? I had a surgical TFMR at BPAS and they would only do surgical, though I was 17 weeks.
By the way I bled heavily for at least 3 weeks afterwards. Surgical abortions are not bleeding-free!

I really do feel you need to get some extra help. As others have said you are not making sense. They may have done, but I’m scratching my head as to how a GP would know whether you’re ovulating or not. The investigations to deduce this are not performed by a GP And aren’t conclusive anyway. They may have said it but it seems very unlikely as they wouldn’t have had any evidence of this.

@Kalula I did think that’s why they did it but wasn’t sure.. I definitely had at least 3 nurses pushing down whilst the surgeon Carried out the procedure. Apart from the injection in the cervix the Pain of them pushing down on me probably hurt the most

I had a surgical abortion and still bled for almost six week afterwards. Was checked over, no infection, retained products etc and was told it wasn't that unusual.

I think the way women's health care and is being sidelined due to covid is absolutely disgusting. That's before we get to mental health care, which was appalling enough anyway. Best of luck with everything, OP. Living with bipolar is hard enough without all this to deal with.

I had a surgical abortion last week at Marie Stopes. I was 5 weeks 5 days pregnant. I was sedated so don't remember the procedure at all. I had very mild cramping for a few hours after and started bleeding very lightly a couple of days ago.

If it's BPAS you are going with can you send a complaint to [email protected]. it's disgusting that they have taken the choice away, yet they are still carrying out vasectomies.

Hi op. I haven't read all the thread so apologies if I missed something but I wanted to just offer you my experiences. I have had two terminations. My first was 16years ago and was a surgical under general anaesthetic. It was mostly pain free albeit incredibly emotional. I recently had to have a second termination. Unfortunately we live in a postcode lottery and my area no longer offered surgical procedures. I was told I would have to travel 150 miles for that procedure. In the end I elected to have the tablets and I was genuinely terrified. I had it at less than 8 weeks which I believe is better. The further along you are the worse the experience is. In the end, for me at least, I had very little pain. No worse than a period. In fact it was so quick I didn't think it worked. I had to return to the clinic for a scan as I was convinced it didn't work but it had. I have a thread on here about it which I left up to try and help others make their decision. In the end, only you can choose what is right for you but I just wanted to reassure you that the tablets don't necessarily mean it's going to be horrific and painful. I won't lie, it's an incredibly emotional and sad experience but I made the right choice on both occasions. My best advice would be to do it as soon as you can because the further down the road you get the worse it will be for you emotionally and physically. Good luck op. I hope things work out.

Termination at 38 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy_choices/3740742-termination-at-38

A few misconceptions (sorry, noun intended).
There are risks associated with both methods. The serious risks are higher with surgical TOP.
Enduring pregnancy risk is reduced by not taking the tablets simultaneously.
Bleeding occurs post surgical TOP normally. The placental bed is raw still. Bleeding starts immediately postoperatively. Sometimes bleeding can be serious and need transferring to an acute gynaecological service via an emergency department.
Medical TOPs were always begun in clinic but rarely did bleeding start at that time. It was always later, usually at home.
The risk of travelling after a surgical TOP need consideration. You can't drive and need another adult with you.

Medical termination is undoubtedly safer and less intrusive on a woman's life. It is not without some risks though.

@Natsku

OP, I had a surgical at 9 weeks, very heavy bleeding and pain after for a couple of weeks. In hindsight, I'd rather have gone for the medical option. I think you should have the choice but your assumptions about what the surgical option will be like may be wrong.

I had one and I had no pain and no heavy bleeding ... everyone is different.

Thank you to all those who had the energy to go back and quote the OP back to herself. As if I'd waste my fucking time making up conclusions about you for no good reason. If you can't even keep tabs on your own reasoning then you've proved my point.

I didn't say all bpd meds were bad for pregnant women, I said you should be planning for pregnancy with a psychiatrist in your corner.

I wrote because I was concerned about you, but all good.

Oh, and enough with the armchair remarks. You don't have first dibs on all the mental health issues, some other people experience them, live with them, suffer from them. It's how you deal with it that matters.

@Iborgia

Obviously she’s distressed and isn’t thinking clearly and is getting defensive because she feels under attack.
I think she needs us to be more kind and understanding.

I'm sorry OP I didn't think asking you about your medication would upset you. Having been on lithium for 25 years when I was pregnant I was offered many options for termination due to the issues lithium can cause in preganancies.

That was the sole reason I asked as the team were for the first time very helpful

Op you mentioned you were in Manchester. There's a Marie Stopes in fallowfields. I've attached a link. They are still offering surgical and it's NHS funded. Give them a call and talk to them. They will support you

www.mariestopes.org.uk/abortion-services/surgical-abortion/

@Nomorepies the thing is, people are assuming I haven’t let the community mental health team know - which I have. I’m awaiting a phone call back. Coming to two weeks now. I contacted my GP who told me to go to A&E. CMHT have discharged me.

People have no idea what my state of mind is, what my bipolar is like, what I’ve been doing, how it’s been before lockdown.... nothing. Gets very annoying.

@lookingatthings thank you. I have a call this afternoon.

What did they say at A&E when you went?

Op, are you taking your bipolar meds? Can you chat to a sympathetic friend?

It's none of your housemate's business what you do with your body.

op i would still go down the pill route-they can send it to you and youw otn have to do much

marie stoped wont put you under as i believe you think it will-also i dont think they can detect twins at this early stage

Good luck. I hope you are able to communicate your needs effectively. Remember to stay calm and take deep breaths.

I understand what you're going through.

@GabsAlot

op i would still go down the pill route-they can send it to you and youw otn have to do much

marie stoped wont put you under as i believe you think it will-also i dont think they can detect twins at this early stage

I had a surgical abortion at Marie Stopes last week. I was just under 6 weeks pregnant and I had sedation. I remember nothing at all of the procedure.