AIBU for expecting a surgical abortion?

[Georgeoftheinternet]

Due to this virus I will have to terminate my pregnancy at home. This scares me because I don’t want the whole process and flushing everything down the toilet, plus bleeding for weeks. 3/100 don’t fully terminate.

Apologies if you are struggling to get pregnant. Everyone’s lives are different.

@CoffeeNeeded2019 thanks. I’ve paid for a scan on Saturday which I’m also confused if it’s going to pick up anything. I’ve said if it’s twins I’ll keep. Sounds selfish but the line was so strong and I feel so tired. If not, I’ll abort.

I had losses surgically managed, twice. Purely because I wanted to manage them that way. You should have the same choice.

I'd ask for the surgical if you'd prefer it, miscarriage and abortion at home carries risks as does surgery. As long as you're informed of both sides I don't see why you should be forced either way.

A friend had MVA, works for some but she personally found it very upsetting.

I hope you get what you need asap and a quick, easy recovery

@halfmoonfullmoon I already have paid for it, it’s called national insurance and taxes.

Came here to essentially write what @Chuggington2 has said.

Leaving it to nature is horrendous
Taking the pill is horrendous
Surgical intervention is horrendous.

The only recommendation I can give is to pre heat tea/ water bottles and sugary/salty snacks.

Flush toilet every 5 minutes you are sitting down if you don't want to see anything (without standing up)
If you can, try to stay mildly active, and avoid spending hours sitting on the toilet. Even if it's just changing positions in bed, or walking to the kitchen if the pain gets too bad.

Everyone is different. Some people are in a lot of pain throughout, some only have mild cramps.

Some people vomit, some can eat and drink fine.

If I were you, I'd rather be comfortable at home if that is your only issues with taking it. In the long run it's much quicker, safer and less stressful than surgery.

I don't think you get the choice anymore unless going private like a pp an MVA is brutal painful afterwards.
Get a hot water bottle plenty of pain killers.

[quote Georgeoftheinternet]@halfmoonfullmoon I already have paid for it, it’s called national insurance and taxes.[/quote]
right, the NHS is offering you a service but it’s not the service you want. therefore, pay extra to get the service you want

@AldiIsla I’ve been told it’s a self administrated pills only. So unless I wait for the baby to progress, which carries more risks, I don’t have any choice.

@halfmoonfullmoon the nhs can and will offer me the service. I have no money due to Covid and I’ve already paid into the system.

[quote Georgeoftheinternet]@halfmoonfullmoon the nhs can and will offer me the service. I have no money due to Covid and I’ve already paid into the system.[/quote]
can and will? they CAN but have chosen not to. good luck with the ‘will’ part!

@EmeraldShamrock why would it be brutally painful afterwards?

@farfallarocks the surgeons who perform these procedures also perform hysterectomies due to cancer and endometriosis, perform emergency c sections etc. Obstetric surgeons primarily work on women. So all women’s health. Do you think an abortion which could be carried out by other methods should be prioritised over these procedures?

@Marshmallow91 mentally I don’t want to go through an abortion at home. It will be more stressful for me emotionally and also I don’t want the blood/pain.

@Georgeoftheinternet Have you looked into a Marie Stopes clinic?

I had a surgical termination with them last year and they were fantastic. Absolutely incredible. They are still offering their full services according to the website. Just depends if you can get to a clinic that’s anywhere near you maybe.

@Georgeoftheinternet Your cervix is vacuumed I bleed for the days, I remember been in agony waiting on my flight home.
I’ve said if it’s twins I’ll keep. Sounds selfish but the line was so strong and I feel so tired. If not, I’ll abort
Why abort one and keep if there is two are sure you're ready emotionally for this.

Some of the comments on this thread honestly

OP as PP have said you may be too early for surgical just as “normal” times. If this isn’t so, then speak with them frankly about the impact on your mental health this is going to have and they can consider fully. Big hugs

I had one in June and they told me that posting the pills to me at home was now standard. But I requested a surgical one and it wasn’t a problem. This was with bpas.
And another lady on here messaged me privately to ask about the process last month and she was also able to request a surgical one.
Is it bpas you’ve spoken to?

@Chuggington2 Did you say this to any other woman who wanted medical care that best suited her needs?
The nhs has enough qualified staff. There are no redundancies. My contribution to this service hasn’t reduced. There is no reason why I can’t get a treatment for a need I have.

@Frazzled13 yes and I thought they were just a triage type service. Maybe because in Manchester they can’t offer it?

@Georgeoftheinternet PS When I had my consultation and elected for surgical they did not judge, completely understood my reasons why and agreed I was making the right choice for me.

Have far along is your pregnancy? If it is early it shouldn't be too bad.

Good luck.

[quote Georgeoftheinternet]@Chuggington2 Did you say this to any other woman who wanted medical care that best suited her needs?
The nhs has enough qualified staff. There are no redundancies. My contribution to this service hasn’t reduced. There is no reason why I can’t get a treatment for a need I have.[/quote]
You don't have a need, you have a want.

You need an abortion which is what you are being offered.

What you want is a surgical one which is not what you need.

There are no pleasant options. You will have to deal with pain and blood whether you have a medical termination, a surgical termination, or a full term pregnancy and birth.

If you want the surgical option you will need to seek alternative care outside the NHS.

Op I think your tone in the OG post has set the precedence of the tone of this thread.

I'll be honest, I fully sympathise with you, I've had a medical management of an abortion at 7 weeks. I wouldn't want to go it alone, again. But it's usually painful for a hour or so. After it passes it will over before you know it.

I've also had a surgical, and yes it is over quickly, less bleeding.

But if you wanna go for surgical, cancel your appointment, get past 9 weeks. Then book in again. They won't let you do it after 9 weeks !

@EmeraldShamrock my mum says my generation is due for twins because it runs in the family etc. I wouldn’t want child without no siblings, and I have a thought/feeling it may be twins. You may not understand this thought process and I’m thinking you don’t by suggesting I abort one.

I’m 4.5 weeks since sex so I’m fine for a surgical termination. I just don’t know if my scan on Saturday will be too early.

It’s a shame you don’t have a choice I agree and I’m not sure I’d want to manage it at home. But for what it’s worth I had medical management (the tablets) at hospital for a mmc at 9 weeks. I bled less than a period and never saw anything (despite looking) and the pain was like mild period pains. I’d expected it to be much worse, so much so I was convinced there was no way it had worked but a scan a week later showed it had.

Hi is this the NHS? My friend had an abortion two weeks ago and was offered two options 1) the pill or 2) the surgical. She wanted the surgical however they told her they could do the pill on that day or if she wanted the surgical they could schedule her in for about two weeks. She decided not to wait. She was 5 weeks pregnant and paid privately.