18 weeks pregnant - need abortion

[Cookiesandcream123]

I am 28 years old. I was a single mum to my now 9 year old son. I went back to study and have graduated last year with my degree. I started a job 3 months ago and found out I was pregnant. I won't get maternity. Only maternity allowance. My partner is unemployed, can't read or write, has no work experience and lacks motivation to find work. I have given him opportunity after opportunity to get a job and help out. He lives in my house, drives my car, uses my money and now it's got to the position of my payday being 2 weeks away and I've just run out of gas and there is one run of tomato soup in the house and no money. I'm considering an abortion. In fact. I have one booked. I've worked so hard for my degree and my job as a single mum and now I've got this new man dragging my life down. I earn decent wages. But not enough to support a grown man as well. I don't want to be a single mum to two children with no money or help and thrown my career away for a man who may be going to prison. I'm 18 weeks pregnant today. Please advise

Op do you think you have fully explored benefit entitlements for when the baby would be born? I know you would only have 4 months maternity leave and full time childcare for such a young baby isn't great but it wouldn't be forever.
Do you rent or own? Because if you rent there is housing benefit plus the tax credits and maternity allowance. You could downsize if you left the boyfriend and save money on rent. You and baby in one room, a box room for DS. You and baby could even sleep in the living room and you could rent a one bed for 12 months or so.

I'm not trying to persuade you one way or another and I completely understand why you won't give up your training. I just want to make sure you are informed about your entitlements and have thought throug all the options.

As I read it, the OP could struggle through. She could manage, just, with some juggling and sacrifices and adjustments.

But she doesn't want to. She wants a clean break from this man. She wants to go ahead with her career. In short, she doesn't want a baby now.

That's that!

18 weeks is nearly half way through a pregnancy.

What's your point? Will it be helpful to the op?

Agree does seem as though mind made up.

Hope Op has got what she wanted from thread.

If you can't see how any of that could have happened then your the one that's not very bright.

bye

She didn't come on here asking for advice but for sympathy, support and friendship.

Is it really so hard to imagine feeling lonely and afraid?

To be fair, pinktruffle the last two words of her OP are "Please advise"

But not as to whether or not she should have it.

'Please advise' did sound as though she was seeking advice on her situation.

It isn't a baby it's a foetus. A foetus that lives off of the body of the op, she can do what she likes with her body. It is is irrelevant the reasons, it is irrelevant the stage of pregnancy.
Hysterical, immature, judgemental, misogynistic pro life posts are not useful at all.
It seems you are not happy in the relationship Op. Leave the relationship. Consider that done and decide what you want to do with the pregnancy. Both choices are equally valid but don't base this decision on a shit man. You would be entitled to benefits to help financially but finance is only a small part. Do you want a child?

As I said at 11:12:17, it's not actually that clear what advice she is asking for. Given this was originally posted in Pregnancy, which is where I saw it, it was not unreasonble for posters to think she was asking for opinions on the situation.

Don't want to get involved in bunfight but just want to wish you all the best OP.

Needaninsight. Stop troll hunting and no abortion shouldn't 'rightly' be an emotive subject. You don't have to have one so its not up to you to decide how emotional the op should feel.

If you can't see how any of that could have happened then your the one that's not very bright.

Precisely.

And it's not disgraceful to have an abortion at 18 weeks. It is a legal and valid option for the OP.

What's disgraceful is posters like you trying to guilt and shame the OP.

Ditch the guy not the baby.
18 weeks is too late.
I believe you will regret this.

So sorry you are in this position, OP. So hard for you and you have to think of the child you already have. 100% your decision.

If you did decide to keep the baby, could you find a nursery or child-minder to take it at a very young age? Obviously not ideal but nothing is ideal and that how a whole generation of children grew up in Mexico back in the day. Children are remarkably resilient in the end.

Iggi999 yes, I did see that MN had moved it, and meant to address that...I was just so bloody angry at those who getting at op that it completely slipped my mind.

BumWad

Unless you know the op you have nothing to base your 'belief' on.

Hope everything is going OK OP.

I hope you are okay as well, OP.