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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

I'm pregnant and confused

35 replies

GingerCuddleMonster · 08/04/2015 21:36

well that's just it really DS is 8mo and I'm with child again.

Realistically me and dp can't afford or manage another baby so soon. we can't also we have no room should said baby ever arrive.

So now the inevitable, a termination. But I have no idea how far along I could be and am completely confused/overwhelmed at how it could be managed.

How do I even go about getting a termination Blush do I just go see the GP?

OP posts:
Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 08/04/2015 21:52

anyone?

OP posts:
scaevola · 08/04/2015 21:56

I think you might need to ask MNHQ to move this to 'pregnancy choices'

This is the contraception topic, and so posters here may not have the expertise to help you.

Enormouse · 08/04/2015 21:59

You can contact Marie Stopes or bpas. I'll have a scout for the links for you op.

And Flowers for you.

Enormouse · 08/04/2015 22:04

www.mariestopes.org.uk/women/abortion
www.bpas.org/bpaswoman

You can ring them directly and they can offer advice and counselling if you need it. You can arrange an appointment without letting your gp know, if you'd prefer.

Does your partner know?

Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 08/04/2015 22:29

I've asked for it to be moved, couldn't find that section using the mobile app.

DP knows and we are in full agreement that its the best option, just a bit unsure how to proceed.

Will have a look at the links . thank you Thanks Thanks

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ShoeShooChoux · 08/04/2015 22:53

You can go to the gp who will refer you or directly to the organisations linked to above.

At your initial appointment at hospital they'll scan you to see how far along you are and from there they'll talk you through your options.

It must be a shock for you. Have your periods not returned yet? Is that why you've no idea how far along you are?

Enormouse · 08/04/2015 22:55

Just take your time.

I'm glad to hear your dp is onside. I had a termination for similar reasons. I had two DSes under 3, DS2 was almost 1. And we couldn't afford a third and it was just too soon after DS2.

When you ring them, they'll take a few details off you and book you a consultation. I think I had a 2/3 week wait for my appointment.

They'll scan you and see how far along you are and then give you options depending on how many weeks pregnant you are. Medical or surgical. I had a surgical with general anaesthetic when I was 11 weeks along. The staff at bpas were wonderful, empathetic and non judgemental and the procedure was over pretty quickly.

If you need anything else, I'm here x

Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 09/04/2015 07:55

morning all sorry DS decided to have a bad night, no my periods haven't come back so I really have no idea where I am.

I'm going to ring hop this morning and see if I can get an appointment before work today

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ShoeShooChoux · 09/04/2015 08:31

Good luck. With any hope you'll be quite early on - it will just make things easier for you if you are. You must have caught that pesky first egg!

I agree its great that your dh is supportive and on the same page as you. Having support makes the world of difference Smile

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 09/04/2015 09:43

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic now.

Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 09/04/2015 10:06

DP has said ultimately its my choice as it's my body but he will support me whatever I chose, but his decision is to terminate.

sitting in GP waiting room with feelings of guilt mounting Sad I'm sure that's normal though

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ShoeShooChoux · 09/04/2015 10:34

Absolutely normal. It's not easy easy Thanks

ShoeShooChoux · 09/04/2015 11:04

I don't know where the second easy came from!

It's emotional thing to go through, even if it's the best thing to do it doesn't make it easy.

Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 09/04/2015 13:25

in work now, gp was a waste of time, he just grunted and said "well does your partner know" then typed away and said pick up a letter tomorrow to arrange booking yourself in . Hmm pleasent man....

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acatcalledjohn · 09/04/2015 14:11

Sounds like an awfully uncaring GP, that would have been the last thing you needed.

I hope all works out well, regardless of what you choose. As long as you know that, in your heart, it's the right thing then that is all that matters.

Flowers
ShoeShooChoux · 09/04/2015 14:45

Sorry to hear your gp was unhelpful and unsympathetic. He sounds like an arse. And 'does your partner know?' is a completely unnecessary question. I must have been lucky with my gp because he couldn't have been nicer.

I hope you're feeling okay Thanks

WonderingWillow · 10/04/2015 22:47

I didn't even involve my GP, I just went straight to BPAS. I don't suppose you have a clinic near you? I'm really sorry you had this reaction.

Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 11/04/2015 19:16

I just rolled my eyes and on the way out told the resceptionist that Dr is a knob.

I'm dreading my appointment. I know they will scan me and its going to break my heart, did any of you watch the screen or asked for it to be turned away?

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DuckChowMein · 11/04/2015 22:31

The screen will be turned away from you anyway. You won't see anything unless you ask to.

WonderingWillow · 12/04/2015 09:42

The screen is turned away. They print some pictures for your file but fold them up in an envelope and staple that inside the file so you don't see it. Tbh I couldn't see anything on the scan with my DC hardly at 14 weeks, let alone 6.

I found the abortion clinic kind of heartening actually. There were about 60-70 women in there, at all ages. It's just a choice like any other. I sat in recovery with one woman and we chatted. She said 'I 100% refuse to feel guilty. Being forced into an unwanted pregnancy is slavery' and she was right. I think of her often.

CtrlAltDelicious · 12/04/2015 09:50

Hello OP. I've been in your position. They did scan me but as Wondering said, you can't see unless you ask. I too found my GP to be an unhelpful prick. When I said I was pregnant and wanted to discuss a termination he looked at me silently like a piece of shit for 15 seconds and said to give it a couple of weeks then ring his secretary for another appointment.
BPAS in my experience are wonderful and I went directly to them after the GP.

I opted for a medical procedure all in one day, which meant 8 hours of hanging round between treatments. The whole situation was obvious very stressful and upsetting when I eventually passed everything at home, but the next day I woke up and new for certain it had been the right thing. I felt like a weight had been lifted, which some people might think is a bit inappropriate, but it's true.

I hope you are ok, there will be people here who will support you xx

WonderingWillow · 12/04/2015 10:11

I had the surgical termination, so I didn't have to pass anything. The only part I got upset at was going in to be put to sleep because I'm scared of that. They were able to put in a coil at the same time, and I was back at work the same week, although I could have gone back the next day. The whole thing was just left in the clinic in my mind; done with, and that really helped mentally.

I feel a bit guilty saying this, but afterwards I was just relieved and now tbh I rarely think of it. It was absolutely the right decision.

I spent the whole day at the clinic, which was a pain but tbh the people having medical terminations weren't out much quicker.

WonderingWillow · 12/04/2015 10:15

Sorry so many of you have had to put up with arsehole GP's Shock

I went straight to BPAS, and I'd recommend to anyone.

Original poster
GingerCuddleMonster · 15/04/2015 20:46

just wanted to update you all, had my appointment today the nurse was so lovely, decided to have a medically managed termination.

back next week to begin the process, and after a few days of thought and reflection I'm happy with my decision and know it's the best thing for my family right now

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acatcalledjohn · 15/04/2015 21:16

I'm am glad to hear you found a nice HCP and that you are happy with your decision. All the best Smile Flowers