Still no movement and bump feels smaller : (

[spongebrainmaternitypants]

Ok, I am a terrible, terrible worrier and have been through hell to have my family (DS IVF conceived, current pg natural miracle).

However, I am now over 19 wks with my 2nd pg and still haven't felt the baby move . I have googled (I know, I shouldn't have done that ) and have found lots of stories of women feeling baby movement from 13 weeks onwards but no one who couldn't feel anything at this stage .

I'm quite overweight - would that make a difference?

Add to this, my bump seems to have shrunk in the last couple of days - I could feel it really easily under the flab until a couple of days ago, but now I'm struggling to find it. Is this normal?

Have been in tears all day convincing myself that I've lost my precious baby.

Have my 20 wk scan on Friday. It's going to be a long week .

If you are really concerned, call your MW.

But some people do not feel any movement until long after 19 weeks. I didn't feel any regular movement until about 21 - 22 weeks. They are delivering me by CS on Thursday .

This happened to me on my first pregnancy, it was a saturday evening as it happens.

I rang the maternity unit and explained and they told me to come in for a scan if I was worried.

I did, and everything was fine, I could see him moviing on the screen, but couldn't feel anything - must have been because of the way he was lying.

He is 11 now, and giving out because he doesn't want to go to bed yet!

Hi Spongebob sorry you are having such a worrying time. I wouldnt worry about the fact that you haven't felt your lo move yet as you probably have but just dont know what it is yet. I am a big girl and in my first pregnancy i didn't feel anything till about your stage either - its a known fact that overweight people feel their movements alot later especially in first pregancies.

Your uterus isnt always that easy to feel through a 'mummy tummy' all the time either ( i used to lay on my stomach alot till i was about 7 and a half months so always felt it hardly ever at 20 weeks if i wasn't.)

The main thing is that you contact your maternity daycare unit at your local hospital if you are worried ( or your midwife but i was under the hosptial so went to them directly each time i was worried and that was alot! ) You would be amazed at how much their trace machines pick up movement wise and you cant feel a thing. Please if you are worried dont suffer in silence whilst i am sure there is nothing wrong thats what they are there for and they will see you i promise. I know you have your scan booked for Friday but they wouldnt want you to be worrying all week either.

Alternatively if you can afford it you can get private scans done all over the place ( google your nearest) for 50-70 pounds and they are worth doing if it will help you put your mind at ease but i would advocate giving the hospital a call tomorrow ( our daycare unit was open on Sundays)

Good luck and dont forget to come back and tell us how you got on - hugs x

Please don't worry. 19 weeks is still normal for no movement felt. You may have an anterior placenta too- I did- which means you feel less as the placenta acts as a cushion. The baby will also still spend a lot of time hiding behind your pubic bone. It is normal I assure you.

You can phone your midwife for reassurance too. I'm sorry you're so worried.

Sorry spongebob misread and i see its your second pregnancy - same advice though really, it always took me ages to feel babys kicking except for this one (my 4th) but even then i think it was about 17ish weeks, like macherie it depends on how your lo is lying.

fwiw, I didn't feel anything until at least 22 weeks with both pregnancies
Plus your bump changes all the time as the baby will move around - even though you can't feel it yet. Please don't worry - hard I know!

Hey Sponge so sorry you're worrying. I'm 29 weeks with our IVF baby and a hopeless worrier myself. I have a little doppler I bought off amazon and if I get the heebie jeebies it calms me completely to hear the heart booming away. Of course you have to be sensible and not do it too often, but at 19 weeks it should be easy to find 9 times out of ten, and if you can't hear it you can hear the placenta whooshing which, I'm reliably informed, is driven by the baby anyway.

So I'm a fan. Lots of people will say don't get one, you'll worry more, but for me it's been a godsend.

Thank you for all your reassurance - I suppose I just assumed I would have to wait til Monday to do anything, hadn't thought about phoning the hospital instead .

Only went to the DAU in my 3rd trim last time so suppose I felt I wasn't pg enough to be bothering them, if that makes sense .

fruity, it's so good to hear that you didn't feel movement in your 2nd pg until 22 wks. I've lost count of the no of people in RL who have asked me if I can feel kicking yet and then looked surprised when I've said no .

I will let you know if I manage to see anyone tomorrow.

makipuppy, I did consider a doppler but I'm really worried that if I couldn't find the hb that would make me worse . Maybe I should think again.

Spongebob i had a doppler and found the HB really easily (or placenta) and i used it every day from 12 weeks as DS was a quiet little bunny

This is my second baby and I was looking forward to feeling the baby move from 16 weeks, like all the websites said I would!

However I didn't feel definite movements until 20 weeks. In my first pregnancy, I didn't feel them unti 21/22 weeks - this time I have an anterior placenta.

My bump also seems smaller on some days than on others. I think people ask about kicking when you are visibly pregnant becuase you seem so "big" compared to your non pregnant size, that they assume the baby is almost full sized!

I'd second going to the day unit - I was at one today to check baby's heartbeat - (precaution because of health problem with me) after being referred there by a walk in centre. They were happy to listen to the baby, and told me if I had any concerns about movements, to go to the GP in the week, or direct to them at the weekends.

FWIW, even at 23 weeks, sometimes I can "see" movement - but not feel it, so if I wasn't looking at my tummy, I wouldn't know it was moving IYSWIM.

Thank you rosie and jem, I phoned the DAU this morning and, despite me sounding obviously distressed on the phone, the woman who answered wasn't remotely interested or prepared to offer me monitoring and reassurance. She said it all sounded normal and to just come in for my usual appointments.

It's such luck of the draw who answers the phone cos in my 1st pg the hospital were always great and the MW actually said to me once (when I'd been into listen to the hb for the umpteenth time ), "Never feel like you're wasting our time".

This woman made me feel like that was exactly what I was doing .

So, another night of not sleeping and then off to our local MW drop in clinic tomorrow. The difference is I think they find it harder to say no when you're stood in front of them.

Thank you again. I will keep you posted.

Oh sponge I'm sorry you're still worrying. Of course, if you've had nothing to indicate a problem, I'm sure the baby is fine, just curled up in a corner, I expect you have a very comfy womb .

I agree you should go in but today, not tomorrow! All they have to do is listen for the hb and then you'll be back on form. When the mw has set your mind at rest, get yourself a nice doppler if you think the worrying might come back.

You're really not alone - I was absolutely like this.

I was paranoid at 20 weeks as I hadn't felt anything (first baby). But I started to feel at about 22 weeks. My placenta is anterior,so this sometimes effects whether you can feel anything.

Sorry the maternity unit haven't been too useful- can you try your community midewife or GP and get a heart rate at least?

I didn't really feel movement till 19 weeks, and then only on the sofa or lying in bed. And this is baby no 3. I expected it much earlier.

I have also heard that people say their bumps gets bigger/smaller on different days. Maybe the baby has moved?

Try not to worry.

Maybe see the midwife this week to listen to the hb.

I know its easy to say but I really wouldnt worry about the lack of movements just yet, with DS I felt the first movements at 22 weeks, I am currently 28 weeks with twins and was expecting to feel movements really early this time but didnt actually get anything until 21 weeks!!
I was a size 22 when pg with DS and was a size 14 when I got pg this time to weight isnt always a reason lol

Dont forget aswell that if you have an anterior placenta it will cushion alot of the movements anyway.

Have you tried lying on your left hand side and drinking something very cold or eating chocolate? I find that doing that really sets them off kicking

I am 19+ weeks with number 3 and have only felt a few very small / brief possible movements. Can't remember when I felt number 2 but I think not before 20 weeks, as I remember with both of them being amazed during the anomaly scan to see them turning back flips which I couldn't feel at all. I've also found my bump has been varying in size, and I suspect what's in your bladder / bowel moves it around as well as the baby's position. Really hope you get seen soon Spongebrain to put your mind at rest.

I am 19 weeks & have felt nothing yet (apart fomr maybe baby maybe indigestion?)

but bump very much in evidence although seems to vary depending on what i'm wearing

i read 17 - 22 wks so am not worrying

everyone's different

Thank you so much for all your lovely messages. I went to the drop-in MW clinic this morning and saw an absolutely lovely MW who totally appreciated my anxiety, gave me a full check up, and listened to the hb .

It did put me off getting a doppler though cos it did take her quite a long time to find it and I think that would freak me out .

However, she did say I could come back every week if I want, and she also gave me some info on bf (didn't work out last time ) and was just generally fab.

Now fingers crossed for the 20 wk scan on Friday.

Thank you again .

fab news

Brilliant, hope you get some lovely scan pics on Friday

Thank you, only two more sleeps .

Just wanted to give all you kind people an update - had my 20 week scan on Friday and all was perfect, baby wriggling around and had all his bits and pieces in the right place .

Now, would you believe it, I've also started to feel him move .

I'm hoping I can start to enjoy this miracle pregnancy now and really believe that I'm going to be a mum again in October.

Thank you all again .

so pleased to hear this

Brilliant spongebrain isn't it the best feeling in the world!