You know you're pregnant when...

[funtimewincies]

There aren't enough calories in your house to feed your hunger but it only takes 3 mouthfuls to be full.

You park your toddler in front of CBeebies so that you can furtively eat crisps in the kitchen.

Your toddler thinks that you now go to bed the same time as him as you're wearing your pyjamas by 8 o'clock.

You really do go to bed the same time as your toddler .

Anyone else fancy playing?

you develop a sense of smell to rival a bloodhound.

you can't go out until you've mapped out the location of each and every public loo in town.

You can't brush your teeth without very real risk of seeing your dinner again.

Adverts for June Whitfield style life insurance send you sobbing into your dairy milk(200g)

You cry in the shower - just cause you can

You eat your packed lunch at 9.30am and end up having to buy a meal deal two hours later

You start carrying around grandma sweets with you - humbug? pear drop?

Your toddler's dinner smells better than your own.

You can't see your fanny anymore (grin]

When the local shop have no jellybabies and the assistant suggests haribo instead you snap "They're not the SAME!!!" and stomp out of the shop.
( I am usually a nice person!)

You cry because you can't get a cheese and onion toasted sandwich in a cafe because the toaster is broken.

People smile at you in the street for no obvious reason - and it doesn't freak you out.....

You pee ona stick and it turns blue?????

You faint in M&S

you hated someone for no reason at all and you suddenly think why you hated that person???

You have reason to celebrate if you can walk for more than half an hour without needing a lie down.

Leaking water is a good sign (in late pregnancy that is).

You fart more than DH and DS put together and really don't care.

You cry because you have to give one of your precious tinned pear halves to your three-year old DD.

You fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

It feels like it's two in the morning and it is in fact... 7.45pm

you travel across town to get a particular kind of bread

you cry because you forgot to swipe your oyster card and the bus driver yelled at you

vomiting into drains on the street or behind trees doesn't phase you anymore

you hate it when dh works late because you can't send him to the local shop for magnum/pringles etc.

you pack double the amount of snacks for your toddler and then eat them all yourself.

Oh funny! Esp the granny sweets - that is me.

You can't stand to watch sad news stories about ill-treated puppies on TV

You HAVE TO EAT NOW OR THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE CATASTROPHIC and don't care whether you are in the middle of the supermarket and it just isn't normally the done thing to dip into the Pringles in the crisp aisle

You find you have to find more inventive reasons for not drinking: antibiotics, giving up for lent, coming down with a bug, sudden insanity...

You find the idea of having sex about as attractive as jogging around the block naked

You can't lie on your front in bed because your boobs are agony

You start talking out loud to yourself, about yourself, in the third person (just me then? OK, I've gone bonkers)

Instead of checking your face/hair in the mirror, you only check the bump.

Your previously strong stomach deserts you, and you can't see, talk or hear about any bodily functions/health problems/death without having a little .

You get really good at holding back your own hair.

You eat only American Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for three weeks straight (just me again?) until a spectacular vomming incident makes you swear off it for the rest of your life.

The mere sound of someone having a poo makes you vomit.

The mere reading about the sound of someone having a poo makes you vomit...

But Jelly Babies and Haribo are just NOT the same !

You buy a 6 tube multipack of polo mints for morning sickness and it lasts less than a week.

You drive your child to the library because the sheer thought of getting on a bus with other people's smells and noises would tip you over the edge (ds loves the bus, I feel very cruel and guilty).

The more unhealthy the meal, the more attractive it looks.

You re-discover food combinations you loved as a child, like banana and marmite of toast, and ham, pickled onion, salad cream and carrot sandwiches .

Your toddler copies you walking. It looks as if they're waddling like a duck.

It's suddenly possible to feel sick and hungry simultaneously (I read this somewhere before I got up the stick and now completely understand).

I'm in that stage at the moment Minshu and I NEED CALORIES NOW !

1. Absolutely everyone is being completely unreasonable. Including the sun for shining too brightly when you have a headache.

1. You develop an addiction to HPT's to make sure that second line is still there.

1. You go nuts googling every niggle/symptom to make sure everything is normal.

1. You want to pack your hospital bag asap so that you're not caught out. (Maybe just me then )