Hubby finding pregnancy frightening

[heartmoonshadow]

Hi,

This may seem strange but after all the baby dancing we did to get pregnant my husband had gone totally off the boil so to speak now that I am pregnant. He says he is frightened of hurting me or the baby and as a result we have had sex only twice since I found out on 11 December! We have talked and he still loves me and has no problems with me and he says he still fancies me. (I have bigger boobs and no visible bump yet so there is still time for him to go off me physically) but he is very very worried about the baby.

I don't want to go without for the next 6 months anyone else suffered and if so what did you do to sort it out.

NB. Midwife spoke to him about it but he is very shy and just turned beetroot red and mutttered ok.

Mine was the same but I was so tired for the most part I was happy about it.

I think he thought as well that it was sort of bad manners and might disturb the baby!

There are things you could try that are less - ahem - intrusive .

Fwiw my DH didn't go off me when I was full term he was just being considerate. It is a good indicator of what your DH will be like when the baby arrives. Mine was wonderful and looked after me so well. So the lack of sex didn't harm our relationship at all, sort of made it stronger in a funny way.

If you really feel the need though maybe you should take yourself off to a private place by yourself....

He may well get used to the idea - probably just a bit freaked out by the whole pregnancy thing. Mine didn't believe I was preggers (both times) until the first scan so maybe things will improve for you after that.

Perhaps take the pressure off (it's a big deal now, because you've talked about it and so has MW) and just get intimate - cuddles, kissing, touching etc. and then as he gets a) more comfortable with you being pg and b) realises that everytime you get close, you are not pressuring him for sex, things might progress by themselves. I understand that it is quite common for men to real that way, and he probably needs reassurance rather than anything else. Good luck!

Glad to read your comments fizzpops as I am 40 weeks TODAY and despite my ton weight hints about sex helping at this stage, my dh is being very 'considerate'... he did think he could hurt it at first but we managed to get past that via jokes about it being splashed in the face (ewwww I know )It did make me wonder what they taught in biology 20 odd years ago!!

dan39 - I must say I always felt sorry for my bump when I went to the loo so maybe they are not as strange as we think they are!

Best of luck for the delivery