*WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON SAYING IM PREGNANT*

[valz]

Hi Ladies just thought i'd add this thread to see if many of you are experiencing or have experienced the same as me, i am almost 7 weeks pregnant with my first, being monitored with early pregancy scans because of threatened mis due to cramping and bleeding. Its still touch and go with me at the min as this only happend a few days before xmas so in order to get out of going out and drinking over xmas me & my husband told people i had a vomiting bug that has been going about, (which i originally thought i had but now i think its morning sickness as ive being throwing up for over a week) My problem is im just so frustrated with people (mostly family; paticularly his family) assuming i am pregnant. everyone knows its not normally announced til the 12 week scan ensures all is ok so why do people insist in probing for news, is it so they can say "i knew it or i told you so". its especially annoying as im still so nervous about having a mis, i think some people are so insensitive and wish they would just keep their noses out and keep opinions to themselves because i know they are chatting amoung themselves speculating whats going on. Am i just over reacting or is this a common problem?

Unfortunately this is totally standard stuff. Your rels are no different to anyone elses. They all speculate and gossip the second you turn down the blue cheese or order a glass of water.
It is certainly annoying and stressful when you are in a precarious position, but keep in mind that there is no malice intended.
I personally don't tell a soul until at least 12 weeks, and I have no problem issuing outright denials if pressed.
You are being understandably sensetive, but keep in mind that they will pick up on this and it will only throw fuel on the fire. Do your best to laugh off their inuendo and if necessary just lie, lie, lie.
Good luck!

I also found the "Why? Do I look fat?" response shut a few people up.

Many people dont realise how sensitive the whole pregnancy and baby subject can be. I have a relative with fertility problems and through that have learned never talk about the subject of babies unless someone else brings it up first.

It gets worse after you announce your pregnancy though as then people seem to think they can say/ask whatever they like! I think the two comments that have peed me off the most were my fiance's mate's wife saying (very aggresively) "Congratulations. So, was it an accident or were you trying?" - eh????? As if it's anyone's business?! lol and an ex colleague who upon hearing i was pregnant just after my sister had had her baby commented "oh well, you'll be upsetting poor XXX(relative with fertility problems)XXX, wont you". I mean, what was i meant to say to that?!

We had a friend who would go around asking people and I would always think of some of the awful situations that she could put herself in - "no, I've just had a miscarriage", "no, I'm bloated because I'm in the middle of IVF treatment" and so on. Trouble is, she was so nosey that she would probably welcome having that kind of info to gossip about. She's not a friend any more.

yeah first few months are one hell of bumpy emotional ride Valz, seems like only 5minutes since I was doing it first time round! Let us know how you get on - could be due around the same time (I'm either 4 or 9weeks pg due to dodgy AF visits - have to wait for scan).
Thumbburns - its a big smiley face happy pg for me thank you hun xx

hi fairy had another reassurance scan yesterday, im 10 weeks with definate twins. im very pleased. when is your scan?

Fabulous news Valz! How exciting!
At least they won't have been able to steal all your thunder with their guessing and gossiping - twins is always big news!

Congrates Valz.

I would tell your pg just not tell them it's twins .

I had m/c with first pregnancy. with my 2 ds's we said nothing at all till after the 12 week scan.
We'd told a few people the first time, so they assumed we would try again. Whenever anyone asked me, even when I was pg again, I just said 'don't worry when there is some good news you will be the first to know' which seemed to put every one off the scent.

Because I lost a baby I never ask if I suspect someone is pregnant, I just let them tell me in their own time.

Wow Valz - twins!! thats amazing news - well done! that will sooooo steal their thunder for guessing you're pregnant! still waiting for a scan date - got midwife coming out in 2weeks so it'll be after then - bloody ages!! think I might pay for a private scan, just to check it's still in there you know!!

Hi flibber thats a good idea, it would certainly throw them off.

fairy i know what you mean, waiting for the scans is awful, my next 1 will be 3 weeks aways, it seems like a lifetime. you should go for a private scan to put your mind at rest.

I'll wait and see what the midwife says - see if she's got any ideas how long I'll have to wait, if tis a good few weeks I'll defo go for private scan! 3 weeks till yours will seem like forever bless you - let me know how you get on, keep in touch x x

hi fairy

took me a while finding this thread, had my ante natel scan yesterday, im 13+4 today, all seems well although the doc wasnt that pleasant, very awkward atmosphere in the room.

havent told anyone yet only our parents, would luv to be sharing my news but all the remarks from his ones just made me determined to hold it as long i can. think we might tell round the start of march, i'll be into my 4th month.