Partner just found out and freaking out massively

[Me345]

So I told him I am pregnant and it’s unplanned and he is just such a lovely person however he has said that he doesn’t even know if he wants kids and certainly not now and he isn’t sure he would be able to talk to me if I keep the baby. I think he is spiralling and not sure he can handle it. I’m in turmoil because one half of me is like I could do this alone (already have a child so not my first go) I’m also 39 this year and had an ectopic before so only have one fallopian tube so feel very privileged to have even got pregnant anyway, but the other half of me really doesn’t want to lose him ( I don’t know how long it will last because who knows how anything will but I love it how it is at the moment) and also scared as hell of giving birth as last time was no dream. Anyway my question is has anybody’s partner said similar when they first found out but come round in the end because they aren’t arseholes, they just scared?

OP, it's fine for him to say he feels uncertain but it's unacceptable for him to not be accountable. His first thought should be to care about you and want to discuss things. He seems to be happy to benefit from a relationship but not put the work into it when it needs it.
With his attitude I think you're right to focus on what you need. While you're worried about labour, it does end. Try to focus on what you and your DD need now.
Make sure you take folic acid and let your GP know so they can advise you on what the steps are.