Pregnant with 4th - unplanned. Help!

[Kenno85]

Hi everyone,

Just needing somewhere I can voice my feelings. Found out this week I’m pregnant with my 4th. We have 3 boys aged 6, 4 & 1. We have been on the fence about having a 4th but more recently I’ve been thinking our 3 boys are enough!

Financially it would be a constraint but I know we’d manage. We already need a bigger 7 seater car, we live in a 3 bed semi so would need to move anyway at some point.

My 3 pregnancies were easy (aged 32, 34 & 36) but I’m now 38 and defo feeling it, not sure I have the energy to get through another pregnancy and those first few months again. I also have a mild prolapse so I’m anxious about how my body will cope with carrying another baby.

My husband is super supportive and happy with whatever decision I make. We have discussed a termination briefly but I just don’t think it could be an option for me, not sure if I’d feel too guilty and have regrets.

If anyone has been in a similar situation then please share some words/support. I know we can cope with what life throws at us and 4 surely isn’t soo much more crazy than 3 right?! 😂

No it's not much more,
My surprise 4th is now 12, life hasn't turned out how I expected as I'm now on my own with 4 although the older one is now working. Food bills are ridiculous and I work long hours support them all but they are a fun bunch to be around.

Forget about the financial part, the house size and car! And think how much love this new baby will bring to you and your family!

people always manage sometimes it’s just cutting down on other things to save money to spend elsewhere!

I don’t think you’d ever regret having another, just think that time when your in hospital and hold your baby for the first time ❤️💙

I now you’re so right! It’s always the unknown that makes you so anxious isn’t it xx

I was your ages nearly exactly with your three previous pregnancies! Am also 38. Beginning of the summer holiday we found out we were expecting no4. It was a complete surprise. Took a little while to get used to the idea and then we really felt good with it and felt like our family would really truly be complete. At ten weeks, I had a miscarriage. Truly it was/is a devastating experience. If I was still pregnant, Id be around 19 weeks now. I so so want to be pregnant! But now feel we are ina predicament, do we try again or leave it? Four will be so challenging but I love the support and love you get with big families. Just want to say, take it as a present and enjoy it. Sometimes it's the things we don't ask for that bring us the greatest joy 😊

Hi, I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That just have been really hard. Hope you come to a decision about whether to try for another or not. Thanks for your advice too, that’s what we said today all things happen for a reason ❤️ xx