20 weeks and counting- still can't feel baby move, when do i start to freak out?

[beforesunrise]

hiya all, am currently pregnant with my second lo, am 20+2 and still havent been able to feel any movements. am almost 100% sure with my first baby i was feeling her by now. i had a scan last week where they said everything is fine and not to worry, HOWEVER- baby was asleep the whole time and barely moved. dd was CONSTANTLY moving and i remember my 20w scan taking forever as they just couldnt get her to be still long enough to take measurements.
dh says i should just feel happy that we are having a more laid back baby (dd is brilliant but has never really slept and she's almost 2), but i just can't stop worrying that there is soemthing wrong, that baby is not moving enough for some reason etc.
it doesnt help that everything i read says you should be able to feel second baby much earlier than first.
am i being too paranoid?? please reassure me!

Didn't feel DC1 until about 21 weeks and DC2 was about 18 or 19 weeks - so not that early for a second baby really. Don't know if that helps at all, but if your scan was ok then there is probably nothing to worry about. You just happened to have your scan at babys nap time! Maybe some people are more sensitive to the early movements than others. Am preg now with DC3 and midwife told me the other day that I should start to feel movement at about 15 weeks. I thought that sounded quite early for me and will be surprised if I do feel him/her at that stage.

I'm almost 20 weeks with my 4th and I've only felt it in the last day or two. And yet when the midwife looked for the heartbeat she was giggling away because the baby was scooting off every time she located the heart?!?! It took ages to get a good listen.

I'd phone your midwife and explain and ask if you can have an appointment to have the heartbeat listened to and then ask the midwife if she can tell if it's changing position.

I had my 20 week scan and was worried that I hadn't felt baby move, but he was on there rubbing his little eyes and moving around. Didn't get to actually feel him til about 23 weeks, and was told by midwife this was perfectly normal. Try not to worry too much, although I know that's far easier said than done. My advice would be to keep in touch with your midwfife and talk through your concerns. She wont think you're silly or worrying unnecessarily. She's there for you, so ask. Its far better for you to have the answers rather than sit worrying about things that you probably dont need to worry about anyway!

Agree with the Duchess, it will stop you worrying yourself silly.

hi all, thanks for all your replies. today baby finally made herself felt! dd was having a horrid tantrum with x-factor worthy screaming, and i guess baby was either completely alarmed or trying to join in!

am 21 weeks tomorrow, so am feeling much reassured. am sure that soon enough i am going to be complaining about non'stop kicking!

Hi I'm 20 weeks and still no movement been getting pains in my belly listened to heart beat yesterday and still worried can anyone help

@beforesunrise that’s great news (not about the tantrum 😂) but great you felt your little baby!

@Kdm98 I was 24 and a half weeks before I felt the baby move so try not to worry too much. They do say it varies for everyone and that it can be a little later, particularly if you have an anterior placenta so its maybe worth checking to see if you do

Only if you reach 24 weeks without feeling movement is it classed as concerning. So baby things affect how much you feel.

Hi, I’m in the same situation as you (almost 20 weeks with my second, felt my first at about 16 weeks) - have been told I have an anterior placenta which can cushion the feeling of movements as it’s at the front, which kind of makes sense! I wonder if you could have the same? But even if not, it can be normal to not feel the movements until a bit later, but if you’re concerned you should speak to your midwife for reassurance.

Thanks for your reply makes me feel better others are experiencing the same