How to deal with the anxiety

[Bells3032]

Very early here (we think around 6 weeks) with a bit of a miracle baby conceived between ivf rounds (I literally had 5 days of ivf meds before stopping for non response due to what we now realise is a pregnancy).

I found out on Sunday and am freaking out about every little twinge and ache. I'm. A naturally twingy person so it's a lot. Dreading going to the loo in case there's blood.

I'm booked in for a viability scan on Monday and dreading it. What if we see a heartbeat, get attached and lose it.

I think we are more at risk than average due to my dh's poor sperm. And I keep freaking out.

Help

Oh sweetheart, im sorry you’re struggling. When baby feels like a miracle everything seems that much more high stakes doesn’t it.

For now I’d try to focus on the fact that there are no signs anything is ‘wrong’. Keep your mind in the positive. For me at least, a lot of the talk around how common miscarriages are made it seem inevitable. Whilst yes they are ‘common’, and 1/5 pregnancies end in one that means a whopping 80% dont.

Have you had your booking appointment? If not when you do have it, ask for a referral to the mental health midwife and explain how you’ve been feeling. There is support out there, you just have to ask.

Hey, congratulations!! I've been through ivf and the one thing that really helped me was a counsellor. I had a lot a lot of anxiety and just talking about it every week with a stranger really helped.

I got her from www.counselling-directory.org.uk/
I did it online because I was worried about covid and it worked really well. It wasnt expensive at all either, I think £30 an hour. I wrote to one counsellor and had an appointment for the following week.

We spoke only about what I was going through with ivf and infertility and it helped to offload so much. I'm now 14 weeks and feel positive.

Infertility is just such a difficult road and it doesnt get easier with a positive pregnancy test, either!

Good luck and I have my fingers crossed for you with your miracle baby!

@Bells3032

Firstly, congratulations.

Secondly, I tried to manage my anxiety by having a seven week scan and a scan around 10 and a half weeks. I also heard somebody say that if you’re going to miscarry, it will happen regardless, you are better off enjoying and embracing every minute and moment being pregnant - this is what is best for your baby.

I felt super attached before my seven week scan and even more attached at the next one. It’s my NHS dating scan today.

Try to think positive thoughts! Every day, your chances of something adverse happening decrease.

Sending love to you. As I can totally empathise and relate. My own experiences to get to this point have been really challenging and painful.

Lots of love xx