What advice would you give your earlier self?

[TallulahTaboo]

FTM and I love and loathe the comments that come with being pregnant...

...you better get sleep now as you won't when baby is here

.... enjoy date nights now as they will be few and far between when baby is here 🙄🙄🙄

However, I'd love to know what advice you'd give your earlier self? Either during pregnancy or when baby was here? Anything you hadn't thought about that's important now baby is here or things you should have enjoyed/did whilst pregnant?

Hmmmn, not much really. I wish I'd cleaned more - dd came at 37 weeks and I had been putting it off. Have a read about the fourth trimester so you're prepared, but try not to worry too much. Yes there will be sleepless nights, yes you're unlikely to have a glitzy dinner for a while, but those things will come again in a year or so. And you get something much better.

Sorry but the two things you’ve mentioned! Probably more so before getting pregnant than once pregnant. I’ve had broken sleep for over 4 years, each night we end up with both our children in our bed. Enjoy your full nights sleep now. And yes meals out without having to pre plan 2 weeks in advance or eat in relay when you decide to go out with a baby. All true sorry. Enjoy just standing up and walking out the door to leave the house and the same exiting the car. If we have a child free day just being able to unclip your seatbelt and get out the car feels like freedom! Browsing shops etc without a pram and all the hassle that goes with it. Holidaying somewhere where there aren’t noisy children everywhere. Just generally anything you can’t do with a child, enjoy it lol!

One thing I would do and did with my second child is check for tongue tie immediately after he was born, I had quite a few issues breastfeeding and it was because of a tongue tie that they didn’t check for, by the time they checked for it I felt like it was too late to have it snipped so I had 6 weeks of agony and struggled with breastfeeding when I didn’t need to. I didn’t give up though I might add, just out of my sheer stubbornness. Easy to check for, it’s pretty obvious.

Try not to keep up with other mums. It's so so hard, especially as these days everyone is expected to be this perfect parent, and you are expected to have googled everything to to point of doing a thesis on it before making any parental decision. I am about to have DD2 and that's the main thing I am focusing on; not trying to be super mum. Much easier said than done.

On a day to day level, try to get out most days, even just for a walk. It will help your mental health. On the same lines, count yourself as important! You cannot be an effective mother if you arent looking after yourself. So eat, shower, even if you have to put the baby down and it cries. It will be ok for 5 minutes. Try to keep at least one hobby too, or go for a walk alone when DH comes home. Time away from baby to clear your head is important too.

Yes to just deciding to go somewhere...getting up off the sofa, picking up your purse/keys and walking out of the door!!!! Enjoy that. I miss it so much haha. Who knew babies needed so much shit.

I would tell myself that pregnancy isn't a given and not to expect it to just happen when I wanted it to - don't make any life plans because it never works out that way. Don't assume that just because you're pregnant you're going to have a baby, that there is such a thing as a missed miscarriage and just because you're not bleeding or only bleeding a tiny bit, it doesn't mean everything is fine. I would tell myself that my reproductive life would be hell on earth, but eventually it would work out.
I so wish I was more prepared for the mental torture of TTC and wish real people had told me their experiences of loss and infertility before I experienced it, or embarked on the TTC journey.

Get a cleaner.
And your children dont remember their early years much. I mean its important for their development and they have to feel secure and loved. But they literally wont remember baby gym or rhyme time. So make sure you do things that develop your children and make they feel safe and loved but that you actually enjoy too as they are your memories you are making.

That my stomach will be a big jelly mess and not to expect it to magically shrink back on its own, that really shocked me

Sleep! I know you hate it but it really is the main thing I would say. That and stop worrying so much. Oh and stop saying all the things you're gonna do and the type of parent you'll be, barely any of it sticks as you haven't met your little fuss pot yet!!

Sleep and relax. When babies here your mind worries constantly about mad things you'd never think of before. Have some pamper times and do your hair as once babies here you don't get time!