I am so terrified of 20 week scan

[OrangeJoos]

My anxiety is going through the roof at the moment. I have my 20 week scan in 2 weeks and I am petrified and convinced that something will be wrong.

Due to previous losses, I have paid for a couple of private scans in-between my NHS standard ones. I have had one at 12 weeks (NHS), one at 14 weeks (private) and another at 17 weeks (private). I have also already had a CVS carried out to check the baby for genetic abnormalities which came back clear (due to previous conditions in my losses).

Part of me just doesn't even want to go for the scan in case I get bad news

I don't know how else to say this without sounding mean but it is said with love and understanding, but you've got to calm down!
I was a mess leading up to my 20 week scan and mentally and physically it doesn't help you getting so worked up.
I was in full lockdown at the point where you are now so I couldn't even have a private scan.
Try some pregnancy yoga and meditation to calm your mind and keep talking about how you feel. Don't bottle it up, otherwise you will suffer more mentally.
It sounds like your pregnancy is going well so try your absolute best to enjoy it as much as you can ❤️❤️❤️

Hi OP, hope you’re feeling a bit better. I totally understand how you feel. I had a MC last year, so this pregnancy I booked an early scan at 7 weeks. Before I left the house to go to the scan I was in floods of tears as I was so scared and expecting the worst, so i can imagine how you feel. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to think about it in the lead up to your appointment, if you find yourself getting anxious take lots of deep breaths and try to calm your mind (that includes in the waiting room!). It sounds like your pregnancy is going well so far but it is natural to be worried and hope that everything is OK. Tell your ultrasound tech that you are feeling really nervous so that they can reassure you throughout. The tech I had at 20 weeks was really nice and talked through everything, letting me know every time they ticked something off the list as being OK. There are times when they have to be quiet to concentrate, it doesn’t mean they’re not telling you something. Just lie back and watch your little one on the screen and marvel at how amazing it is ❤️

Thank you. I know I need to chill out.

I'm just so tired too which isn't helping. I'm anemic at the moment and just exhausted constantly.

This is what I've been like all the way through though. And then on the actual day of my scan I am an absolute mess, nearly having panic attacks before going in the room!

I don't think you should feel bad about how you're feeling - I had my 20-week scan on Monday and felt nervous beforehand even though I don't have a history of loss, so I can only imagine how anxious you must feel.

Would there be anyway you'd be able to organise some sessions with a perinatal therapist to help deal with your anxiety? It might help you enjoy the pregnancy more and put yourself in a calmer frame of mind for when the baby comes.

Good luck with your scan and the next two weeks. Given your CVS and scans I'm sure the odds of it going well are even more in your favour than most and then hopefully you can feel a big wave of relief after it's all over

It is extremely hard to believe that things will be ok when you have been through what you have.
What is being done about your anaemia? You are right that this is bound to make things feel worse.
Are you feeling baby move yet? That can certainly help some people to start to feel a little more confident.
I work with women experiencing loss and pregnancy after loss. A book that may be worth looking for is Joy at the end of the Rainbow 🌈
It is reasonable to feel nervous. Can you take someone with you whe; you go to the scan? It may be worth contacting the scan department to alert them to how scared you are feeling so that are aware

Thank you! I have been feeling what I suspect are movements but they are very small and I'm not 100% sure they are that. But I have an anterior placenta so I was told I wouldn't necessarily feel things until quite late so not to worry about that.

I have suffered really bad anxiety problems in the past when going through my losses and I can feel myself getting the same way and going back to my irrational way of thinking. Things like I don't like discussing it with friends or family or looking at baby things in case I jinx it etc...

Im due to have my 20 week scan in two weeks too and also anxious about it, can’t offer much advice but just letting you know you’re not alone!
Got a private scan this week, mainly because didn’t want my partner to miss the next scan (But also because I’m convinced something’s wrong so want him there).
I’m just trying to think of reasons each day to make me realise I’m being stupid and need to enjoy it or I’m going to look back and realise I wasted my entire first pregnancy to stress.
Deep breaths, we got this ☺️