Am I being a wimp?... Antenatal Depression

[HelenBurclaff]

So I found out on Sept 22nd that I'm pregnant, my husband and I had discussed that we wanted to try for a baby straight after we got married (August 13th) and boom... August 18th a honeymoon baby drops by...

Now, we're both SUPER excited, regardless of it being a shock just how quickly it happened, but at 9weeks I'm really worrying about myself.

This is my first pregnancy and I feel so underprepared, scared and have no idea what to expect with a lot of things.

I have experienced some morning sickness, mainly nausea, but the most horrendous tiredness like I've never experienced before. I literally slept for best part of 11 hours last night (between getting up 3 times to pee )

I'm also crazy emotional and keep wanting to cry for no reason. I work in a HR capacity and had to complete a return to work last week for an employee who is suffering with antenatal depression and just over 3 months pregnant. I'm getting more and more worried that I'm going to end up in a similar boat and resent my baby for the way I'm feeling as I'm really not 'enjoying' pregnancy so far.

I'm probably being super overly worried for nothing, but I'm interested to know how other mums to be cope with these feelings and dealing with the woe's that pregnancy brings.

Firstly, congratulations!

Secondly, no- you're not being a wimp. You have concerns and that is valid- it's important to take your mental health seriously,

However, thirdly...what you are experiencing sounds completely normal for the first trimester. I had bad nausea but very little vomiting (which at times I would have welcomed as relief!). But mostly I remember the exhaustion. I'd never known anything like it. I would cry at work because it hurt to keep my eyes open and I couldn't imagine how I was going to get through to the end of the day. I was sleeping 8-8 and still having to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, which was a huge change from being able to happily get through a day on 5 hours and a bit of a hangover prior to getting pregnant.

None of this is reason to be concerned about ante-natal depression. I was In a very difficult personal situation (recently left for OW then found out was pg...) and have a history of depression so I had many of the same concerns as you. I have been in counseling but I have not been depressed and I certainly don't feel anything but excitement, love and protection for my little one, who is due in a few weeks.

The nausea and exhaustion will pass, and soon.

Oops, pressed send too soon...

They will pass, and soon. In the meantime try to accept that pregnancy isn't all sunshine and roses. There will be days when you feel shit. There may be days when you are scared, inexplicably angry or - the worst days- question your entire decision to have a baby and feel like you are grieving for the life you have given up. Then follows the guilt at feeling like that! It's all part of the process and totally normal. But for the most part, pregnancy is amazing for a lot of women, and there are enough milestones (first scan, first kicks, finding out gender if you want, first hiccups, etc) to keep looking forward to.

Good luck, enjoy and keep us posted on how you're getting on!

Congratulations :-) However ready you think you are, when it actually happens can be a bit overwhelming and scary, especially when you are feeling rubbish and hormonal. You won't be feeling 'ill' for the whole 9 months.

Congratulations! It all sounds normal to me. I'm coming upto 8 weeks and can gladly say the hormones have calmed slightly. I must have cried 10 times over a few days week 5. I've been exhausted, hormonal, nauseous and for a bit I was too worried something was off. Week 13 things will seem so much better for you :)

Wow! Thank you all so much for your advice and kind words. It's comforting to know that others have felt exactly the same way.

I've not yet had a chance to see the midwife and haven't heard when my booking appointment will be (soon I hope as I'll be 10 weeks next week) but I think seeing the Midwife will help me to calm and feel slightly better about things.

Thank you all again so much!

Gaaaaah! Too excited!

Very short notice, but I have my booking appointment tomorrow and dating scan next Weds!!