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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is anybody else petrified of giving birth?

40 replies

Screamingcats · 02/01/2016 22:35

I've been petrified since I found out I was pregnant. I keep having nightmares about it!
I'm sure it can't be THAT bad, otherwise people wouldn't have more after the first baby. I'm still scared though.
Tell me it's normal and other first timers feel like me please lol.

I need to really keep away from Google and reading all the horror stories, but I can't because I want to be prepared for the worst, just incase.

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Jesabel · 02/01/2016 22:39

It's not that bad. It's going to hurt but you'll get through it - and if it gets really bad there is this amazing thing called an epidural that will actually make it quite pleasant

TaliZorah · 02/01/2016 22:41

I felt like that and had an ELCS. I recommend it

Jesabel · 02/01/2016 22:41

I say that as someone who has had two really long, really painful labours but I'd do it a 3rd time! It's one bad day.

Dixiechick17 · 02/01/2016 22:44

I was scared. My pain threshold has never been good. I got myself a hypnobirthing cd and book and it really helped me stay calm about the birth and in the last week quite positive about it. It also helped during labour. My advice is to keep an open mind, don't write out a strict birth plan, have your prefer to haves list, and remember pain relief is available should you need it.

NotSpeaking · 03/01/2016 03:02

This is my third. It's the most painful, amazing, beautiful, addictive experience you will ever have. If you need pain relief it's there for you to take. If you could bottle the feeling you get at the end of giving birth and you sold it, you'd be a billionaire!!! I was scared my first time because it's the unknown, you will be absolutely fine ️xx

Junosmum · 03/01/2016 05:03

I was. And it was worse than anything I could have imagined, but it was only6 hours ago!

Holly34 · 03/01/2016 05:11

Yes! Got 5 weeks left and I am scared totally terrified of the whole experience. First time mum 35 weeks! how long do you have left?

Trace38 · 03/01/2016 06:49

I was!! And o built it up to be something so so bad! But I have to agree with many posters here and say that for me it was a really amazing experience. I had only really heard horror stories before but the truth is everyone is different and their labours are different. I was lucky enough to have a straightforward delivery and only needed gas and air to help with the contractions and the pushing. By the time you're fully dilated and ready to push, there's no sense of not wanting to do it (at least there wasn't for me). Quite the opposite! Your body heaves (a bit like when you're being sick) and does a lot of it for you and you know you're almost at the end. It's amazing what your body does.
Contractions build up to become like the worst period pain you've ever had times a thousand, but I found that getting my birth partner to firmly rub my lower back in circles was all I needed to get to 5 cm dilated and after that I used gas and air as they drew closer together, which was fab. It feels like you've had a few too many wines and just takes you away from the pain.
I don't know any first time mum's that didn't say they had built labour up to be worse than it was. And I know plenty that gladly do it again without worrying. We're stronger than we think and we're made to do it! Good luck :) .

IndomitabIe · 03/01/2016 06:59

I recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth for stories about calm, normal birth (as opposed to the media horror we're fed), in addition to some natal hypnotherapy (I used a Maggie Howells cd). Both these things really helped me.

1frenchfoodie · 03/01/2016 07:52

Not petrified but certainly aprehensive. Why are they so bloomin big - it is not as though they have to fend for themselves soon after birth!

Runningupthathill82 · 03/01/2016 07:57

I wasn't scared at all about giving birth first time round, as I have a high pain threshold and I'd done hypnobirthing and yoga to prepare - but it was horrendous. As a result, I'm terrified to be doing it a second time.

Thing is though, I AM doing it a second time! So the good obviously outweighed the bad.

My advice would be, everyone's experience is different. You may experience this elation post-birth that some posters speak of, or you may not (I certainly couldn't). You might be lucky enough to get through on gas and air, you might need much more.

But whatever happens, it's brief, it's temporary, and there's a whole raft of measures available to help you cope. Don't out too much pressure on yourself, throw out preconceptions about what birth will be like, and try to go with the flow. Best of luck.

Whoopsadoo · 03/01/2016 08:13

Me! First timer here too. In early pregnancy I was so terrified it was ruining any positive feelings I could possibly have had. Over time I'm starting to feel better and trying to be open minded about it all. Not a helpful response I know but thought I'd let you know you're not the only one

ClutterofStarlings · 03/01/2016 08:38

Another first timer. You're definitely not the only one!
Weirdly, I was absolutely fine until I saw consultant at 20 weeks and that really, really threw me. I started to get so wound up about it; it felt as if everything was out of my hands, and control.
I had a good long rant to my mum after a couple of days, which helped, and shortly afterwards someone sent me a copy of Ina May Gaskin mentioned above.
Just reading the first half, which is full of different birth stories helped me to get a bit of perspective. I mean, it wasn't all for me ('gates of life' anyone?) and I'm not totally convinced by all her theories, but it definitely helped. Now at 38 weeks, I have planned a home birth and feel that even if I have to go into hospital, that's okay.
I guess maybe balance out the horror stories your reading with some lovely stories. There are lots on here too.

I have also done pregnancy yoga, which I have found helpful despite not loving yoga, and am reading about hypnobirthing. Not that I think it will carry me right through, but again, I think will help me feel more um, in control isn't the word I'm looking for, but like that.
I'm also completely prepared for the possibility that at the first sniff of a contraction I'll be running to the hospital squeaking for an epidural .

I would say I do subscribe to the notion that knowledge is power, and the more reading I've done, the better I've felt. I'm an antisocial bugger, so haven't bothered too much with classes, but I know lots of people find the nct helpful.
Sorry, that's a bit of an epic post.

Iammad · 03/01/2016 09:29

This is baby 6! I'm almost 38 weeks and I'm a tad apprehensive.
Not so much scared of pain etc but of the unknown.
When is it going to happen, where will I be, will I be on my own with the children while husband at work.
Will I have time to get to hospital! Lol

edengarden123 · 04/01/2016 09:10

Step 1: Go get yourself Marie Mongans Hybnobirthing book (Ina Mays as mentioned above is very good too so read both!)

Step 2: read book, listen to tracks

Step 3: enjoy a calm confident birth

Seriously we have all been fed such negative stories about birthing (i refuse to use the L word), through films, media and other peoples stories.

If you can afford a hypnobirthing workshop do it too.

Everythinggettingbigger · 04/01/2016 09:15

i had a pretty traumatising first birth....but here I am...pregnant again!

I am a bit worried but its not stopping me....I know at the end of it I get my baby placed in my arms so its all worth it anyway.

Crumbles12 · 04/01/2016 09:45

I was terrified through my first pregnancy of the labour and birth but by the last few weeks my worries went out the window as I was just so fed up and uncomfortable I was looking forward it!
Also everyone is different and has different coping mechanisms for pain, in my case I can honestly say the birth wasn't half as bad as I thought, managed without pain relief and other than the baby's head (ouch!) the rest was okay and over before I knew it :)

breezeharbour · 04/01/2016 09:54

I had DD in July and already planning for next one.
Cannot wait to give birth again, honestly.
It's cliche, but if it really was that bad people wouldn't have more than one child! It can be scary and I'm aware that I was very lucky with my birth (hypnobirthing, used a pool and only had gas and air) it really is the most beautiful, amazing and moving experience you will ever had. PP who said the feeling is addictive is right.
Read lots of positive stories, ignore negativity and horror stories. If anyone tries to scare you with their own story just think "it's okay because mine will be fine". Be sorted on your birth plan, be excited, think of what you get at the end.
You'll be fine.

maybebabybee · 04/01/2016 09:56

Yes, I'm absolutely bricking it at 30+6. I have a really, really low pain threshold and I'm worried I'm not going to be able to cope.

DimlowChips · 04/01/2016 10:06

I haven't been petrified of birth, but have been worried up until now. I'm overdue and would happily go through anything to get this over with! You may find by ththe time you get to the birth you've resigned yourself to it!!! Good luck!

Crumpet1 · 04/01/2016 10:10

First birth was really tough and long. Can't have been that bad cos I had another, the 2nd birth was still painful but I enjoyed it at the same time.

When you get that shock of a hot little baby put on your chest after all that pushing, well, nothing beats it. Pure magic!

lemon101 · 04/01/2016 10:55

Hello! I gave birth 3 weeks ago and had not been at all apprehensive but was surprised about how painful it was and how long it took. (Sorry, that isn't very encouraging is it?!). I had a 20hr labour though and the baby was back to back - which is hard work!
I managed it though and you will find you can too and your body can put up with a remarkable amount. Also afterward you get to feel like a total hero! I only had gas and air but would very much consider an epidural next time!

alltouchedout · 04/01/2016 11:14

It's normal to be scared. And it does bloody well hurt! I was terrified the first time. Still had another two babies though :) There is nothing wrong with pain relief if you want it, although you might not. I didn't have pain relief for any of mine and I am a cry - when - stubbed - toe type wuss. I did shout a lot though. They tried to get me not to, every time, but it was immensely helpful so I carried on :)

It's never been safer to have a baby than it is now. You and your baby are highly likely to be absolutely fine. Downplaying the pain and effort of it annoys me so I won't, but I would give birth again in a heartbeat; that moment when your child comes into the world is incomparable. If they could bottle the feelings you get the first time you see that little face...

s098 · 04/01/2016 11:15

37 weeks here and dreading it! Just the thought of it freaks me out and makes me feel weird.

Holly34 · 04/01/2016 12:01

35 weeks cant believe it now the time is so near. I think its natural to be stressed about everything around labour. When will I feel the first contraction? Will anyone be around me? Will I get to the hospital? Media does play a huge role in all this, my midwife advised me to stay well away from it all.

Honestly it is just not knowing what your going to experience, the unknown aspect doesn't make it any easier. Need to relax ... I think I need to continue with writing my diary and going for regular walks.

How else can we divert our minds? When the only way is forward from here there is no going back now.

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