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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you announce pregnancy?

32 replies

Mum2B2first · 12/01/2015 23:19

Hi here,

I am just trying to get an idea of when people announced there pregnancy to the world.

I'm dying to tell people but it is early. 6 weeks (we think) but I don't think I can wait another 6.

I am a terrible liar, and people have been asking everyone already (as I gave up drink/smoking/missed a few birthdays etc etc..)

Just wanted a general consensus on when you did it.

I'm 28 and my friends etc no me so very well, that I feel like I am cheating them!?!

Thanks
Xx

OP posts:

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Primaryteach87 · 12/01/2015 23:23

Straight away (4-5 weeks) close family
Work and numerous close friends - about 7 weeks (after first scan)
Others- after 12 week scan.
All close friends, family and work knew about TTC, fertility issues and previous miscarriages. Partly out of necessity, partly just being open helped deal with it.

nulgirl · 12/01/2015 23:28

First time round - immediately to close family then 12 weeks to everyone else. Second time round my dad let the cat out of the bag when I was 4 weeks so I told most other people ( friends etc). Tbh I would have wanted them to know if anything had gone wrong so couldn't see the point in hiding it.

TheWildOnes · 13/01/2015 08:15

I told immediate family at about 8 weeks, told some friends about 18 weeks. Had a late loss beforehand so didnt feel comfortable announcing to friends any sooner.

Funkytown · 13/01/2015 08:16

5months

avocadotoast · 13/01/2015 08:19

I told immediate family, close friends and my manager as soon as I found out (4 weeks-ish).

Everyone else I told at 12 weeks.

sebsmummy1 · 13/01/2015 08:22

I think until you've had a miscarriage it's almost impossible to not want to tell the world. It's when you have to untell the world that your pretty keen to keep your mouth shut.

First pregnancy I told everyone bar work directly I found out. This one I have told close family only and won't tell anyone else until 20 weeks unless I'm obviously showing.

ToriB34 · 13/01/2015 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GentlyGentlyOhDear · 13/01/2015 09:02

First time we told parents about 8 weeks and everyone else about 15/16 weeks.

I then had a missed miscarriage (had only told one friend, but told parents and work about miscarriage).

So this time around, I'm nearly 15 weeks and have only told one friend and plan on keeping it as quiet as possible until after the 20 week scan (especially as we declined the screening tests at 12 week scan).

Pregnancy is such a long bloody time as well when everyone knows early on and I'm quite a private person and don't want people asking me about it and making comments for the best part of a year (I'm aware I am a misery guts!).

SueV14 · 13/01/2015 09:10

OP, first of all, congratulations!

I'm really surprised to see how early many of you tell even immediate family. But it's fine if you have a harmonic relationship with them I guess. We did not tell anyone at all, just for the sake of. It having to explain if smth went wrong (previous ectopic followed by breast cancer, so have been only very cautiously optimistic. But thank god all is well so far.)

I am approaching 12 weeks now and totally terrified of telling my parents and in-laws, but more than everyone, my mother... If I had a choice not to tell anyone except for closest friends we hang out with regularly and who would see it sometime soon anyway, I simply wouldn't. But I realise I cannot do that.

Ragwort · 13/01/2015 09:16

About 20 ish weeks - I didn't know myself for the first 10 weeks .

But I didn't make a big thing about announcing it, I told my mother on the phone (we lived miles apart) - can't really remember how DH told his family.

Actually I found it all slightly embarrassing - to me and DH it was a private thing and no need to tell the whole world. And then there's that pause after the initial 'congratulations' are people meant to go on and on about the baby or is it OK to change the subject. .

Perhaps I am a misery guts too like Gently.

Ragwort · 13/01/2015 09:18

Sue - you do have a choice, why do you feel you have to tell people if you are not close to them - if your mother gets arsey about it just say something like 'after the health issues we had last time we preferred not to make any announcement'.

Woodenheart · 13/01/2015 09:19

I was 20 weeks, when I told everyone.

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood · 13/01/2015 09:26

It was very early on with number 1. About 16 weeks with number 2, I still remember phoning my mum and her going mad, she thought she was too young to have 2 grandchildren! I didn't speak to her for a few weeks after that. Number 3, it was the day of my first scan, I was 11+3. And early on with number 4 as well. Husbands mum was not impressed, in fact she cried and not with joy!

freshlysharpenedpencils · 13/01/2015 09:27

Congrats.

I told everyone I wanted to as early as I wanted to (because I simply can't keep things to myself, I'm talking hairdresser/ people in the shops etc) and family - who I would want to know anyway should anything go wrong.

But - the big "announcement" to the world (Facebook) will be tomorrow after first scan as I think that's generally considered the safe thing to do. Might be wrong... But that's what we did last time too.

Good luck OP.

Beggy15 · 13/01/2015 09:30

I'm 7 weeks but I'm not telling anyone at all except obviously my mum dad and sister and my boyfriend. I'm only 24 and haven't finished my degree and not married so I don't feel like being judged yet.

If I was to tell people it would probably be 12-14 weeks

SueV14 · 13/01/2015 09:52

@Ragwort I don't have the choice of not telling parents. First of all, they've been waiting for and raving about it for years and it would break their heart if they found out later we were hiding it for too long (12 weeks is justifiable somehow, although I already see my mom insulted I didn't share with her right away). What I am dreading is my mom being over caring, overbearing, calling me daily full of advice, controlling what I am doing/eating, wanting to come visit for a longer period, etc etc. the thing is also, out current landlord is selling the flat and we've been looking for a new place to move and now, knowing that a baby is underway I know my mom with push for us having a place where she can come and stay (she mentioned it once a while ago).

Now I've made an impression my poor mom is a dragon! She is great in fact, just very dominant and opinionated and refuses to see me as an adult but continues to see/treat me as a child (I'm 36 btw). And it's really hard to make it clear to her, I've been trying for years but no success. Otherwise, she is a awesome and I know there's nothing she wouldn't do for me/us.

Ok, and now I feel bad about all the rant and for hijacking OP's thread I just spent a sleepless night with all this thoughts going through my head and having fights with mom in my mind. I'm mentally ill and need help I guess :)))

ChatEnOeuf · 13/01/2015 10:18

First time around: My boss @ 7w - I was an inpatient where I worked and had to call in sick Everyone else - after 12w scan

Then I had two miscarriages in quick succession, very traumatic and it was horrible explaining to people why I was so sick/sad.

So this time I told my immediate family at 6w and a couple of close friends at 8w, then everyone else at 12w, after the scan. Those who I knew I could turn to in the event of another loss were the ones to share our news and my mad anxiety.

fortywinx · 13/01/2015 10:37

Told family and close friends straight away. Work a couple of weeks later at about 6-7 weeks. Everyone else after 12 week scan.

I figured that I would end up telling family and close friends about an mc if I suffered one (I'd want the support), so I decided to tell them early even though that was a risk.

It's really up to you, general consensus is not to make it common knowledge until at least 12 weeks due to mc risks before that time, but some people don't share the news for much longer, and some share it earlier!

comeagainforbigfudge · 13/01/2015 10:44

Congratulations

I told immediate family at 12 weeks (after scan as had prev miscarriages. Not superstitious or anything. Just wanted scan first this time)

everyone else about week 14/15.

pinkandsparklytoo · 13/01/2015 11:04

The first two times it was about 17 weeks, purely because I didn't realise how far along I was until I had the dating scan which was quite late. The third time I think I told family quite early on and everyone else after the 12 week scan. I've recently found out I am expecting again and am planning on not telling anyone except DH until it shows

ch1134 · 13/01/2015 11:07

Told family at 12 weeks, work at 20 weeks. Let everyone else work it out for themselves.

BreeVDKamp · 13/01/2015 11:09

Told my parents at 7 weeks as I was so paranoid and needed reassurance. Couple of friends who had kids after that for same reason. Sister, best friends, in laws etc after 1st scan (14 weeks, although did have an early scan at 10 weeks with threatened miscarriage).

mumxof3x · 13/01/2015 11:25

Im 22wks with 4th and im still waiting to let out the secret, some people know such as partner, mum and his mum. But my dad and rest of family dont.

First was straight away
Second straight away to family n friends.
3rd no one but partner until almost 21wk, not even mum knew.

blowinahoolie · 13/01/2015 11:25

Told most people with first DC, second pregnancy ended in MC, and third pregnancy went well but I did not speak about it, and many did not find out until I gave birth to second DC.

Fourth pregnancy was a MC and I'm now pregnant again. Family know, and a few friends locally in case I need support if things go wrong again. I won't be shouting it from the rooftops though. It's an anxious time.

Ragwort · 13/01/2015 11:38

Sue - I am sorry to hear that, it must be very difficult for you to have such an over bearing mother .

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