had 20 week scan today...found out sex

[crazylady321]

And its a girl my instinct was right. OH is over the moon and I just feel totally flat about it. Said and didnt think I was bothered either way but lying on the bed was kind of hoping she would say boy.

Anyway at least can start to get organised now, just feel a bit of an arse that im been so laid back about it and OH is shouting from the rooftops (not litrally but sure you know what I mean)

Is it your first baby?
I think if you bought a few nice outfits or a blanket for her it might cheer you up.
Was there a particular reason you were hoping for a boy?

Don't forget that if you're planning future pregnancies you'll most likely (statistically) have a boy. I'm having a boy after 2 girls.

Girls are great, I'm sure you will adore her

Foodie - do you have a link about that? Interesting that subsequent children tend to be boys, if that's what you mean?

OP does it feel a bit like an anticlimax? Pregnancy is different for men. He has a real thing (an actual baby girl) to be excited about now rather than "just" a baby. You're much closer connected due to your symptoms and feeling movement etc.

Sorry Anything, what I meant was, statistically, you're much more likely to have a mixed gender family than you are to have all of the same sex.
Of course, that doesn't mean I would encourage anyone to have babies for the sake of hoping for a particular gender, but you know what I mean....

I did read somewhere a few days ago that if you have 4 children, there's a 90% chance that they will be mixed sexes.
Again, not encouraging anyone to have 4 to test it!

Gender odds:

www.in-gender.com/xyu/odds/gender_odds.aspx

I actually cried with disappointment when I was told dc5 was a girl, already had 3 girls and only 1 boy so was really hoping to have a boy.

I have 4 girls and 5th is a boy, girls are lovely. I'm guessing boys are as well but the thought of having one is quite scary.
When they told me dd4 was another girl I felt flat as you say but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Id second the goingout and buying a couple of cute girly things to make it feel better.

Also dont worry about it im sure youll come round by the time shes born.

Girls are lovely. I have two teen DDs and they are great.

There is a lot of nonsense spouted about both genders. Your DCs are your DCs and you'll love them to bits whatever.

Without wanting to sound patronising, unless you have deeper more personal reasons for wanting a boy, pregnancy hormones are probably inflaming these feelings.

Girls are great! Boys are great! There isn't really much in it, to be honest- babies are babies and essentially you're having a person- gender doesn't dictate personality or behaviour, it really won't make a difference to your life if you have a boy or a girl.

I thought of it this way-

What can you do with a boy you can't do with a girl?

If you really think about it, if you saw yourself on the touch line at football, climbing trees, running round the park- there is absolutely no reason you can't do that with a girl.

I wanted a girl to share my passions with, ballet, horses, books. About halfway through my pregnancy I saw the most amazing male ballet dancer, and realised a boy could be just as talented and passionate about dance, and from then on I really didn't care which I had, it was their personality and own set of talents that would define our relationship, not their gender...

I remember feeling a bit flat on hearing DC2 was a boy. I think it was for two reasons- my intuition had told me girl, so I felt a bit shocked, and we have autism in the family which is more common in boys, so that set me off worrying. In the end DS is healthy and the most scrumptious thing I have ever met. Buying some gendered bits does help bonding I think.

Girls are amazing and it sounds like the scan went well medically, so congratulations. Let your partner have his moment, it's lovely he's so excited. I'm sure you will be just as thrilled when you meet your fab little daughter.

I'm due my 4th girl in just under 5 weeks, couldn't be happier! Was over the moon when I found out at the scan it was another girl! It's random people in the playground who seem to have a issue with it and feel sorry for me!!

Personally after having my 1st dd I loved having a daughter and in subsequent pregnancies never hoped for a boy, I'm stopping at 4 and don't wish I had I son! I'm also the youngest of 4 girls and love the fact I have 3 big sisters, never wished for a brother growing up and we are all very close!

I totally understand where you are coming from op. Wr had our 20 week scan a few days ago. On the way dh and I was so nervous. What on earth would we do if it was a girl. We were so desperate for a boy. This will be our one and only child. When we was waiting to be scanned a woaman walked in pushing her son, who wad very disabled and in a wheelchair. It put it into perspective for us. We would be disappointed if it wasnt a boy, but as long as it was healthy we would be happy. X

My DH says the gender scan is like "a lovely pie". He loves pies btw.
"Once you know it's baking nicely, you can either have a peek under the lid or wait to take a bite... either way you get a pie!"
LOL I was expecting a baby... He thinks girls are easy sweet little thinks hahaha how naive, he might get a shock when the little "pie" gets older!

Actually weirdly I wouldn't 100% believe we were having a girl until after a legs open 34 week scan! In spite of scans at 16, 21, 26 weeks! All said girl. Not a pie!

That's a great description squizita
I was totally against finding out on my first two, I remember comparing it to opening your Christmas presents months in advance.
But I am thrilled to know, and it's a lovely feeling. I think I can process it and enjoy it better now, than I would after childbirth.

We haven't shared it with anyone though, so it's still our little secret.

aw I'm sorry you're feel that way, We were all set for finding out if we were having a boy or a girl at our 20 weeks scan but baby didn't want us to know :( I've another scan in 4 weeks so maybe then...

In the meantime, allow yourself to feel disappointment, if that's not too strong a word... and know that it doesn't make you a bad person or less of a mother. You will LOVE your little girl when she arrives, of course you will. I think it's okay to have a preference.

In the meantime, as others have suggested, maybe buy her a few wee bits and peices like a blanket, some baby-gros etc? Have you thought of any names yet?

Thanks Foodie

It's interesting isn't it

I have DS1 aged 2. Am 9 weeks pregnant and fed up of people predicting it is a girl. I ask why and the only answer I get is that it would be nice to have 1 of each flavour. As if having two boys won't be 'nice'!
I am overall not entirely bothered what the gender of baby number 2 is. Practically, it would save us a lot of money if DC2 was a boy (have all clothes) but I am really only bothered about a healthy pregnancy, birth and child.

I'm convinced I'm having a boy, due to have 20week scan in a few weeks, it just occurred to me I hope I'm still happy even if it's a girl...I think I will be

Yes. Get shopping!!
We have dd 2yrs already.

DS is due in 4/5 weeks and at the time of our scan DH was saying he wasn't bothered either way (he was he wanted a boy) and I was leaning towards girl. We have dd and she is so amazing! And I was imaging having 2 little girls and how great this would be and all the girly stuff we would do and how we were totally set up for a girl and all DD's clothes were so gorgeous and everything....
They said boy. The woman saw my face and realised I wasn't convinced and showed us his little testicles on th scan!!

It took me a week or 2 to feel happy about it. And it really helped to go shopping and get a few boy bits in.
Now I'm quite excited!!

Good luck. Don't worry. You will love baby more ten you can ever imagine once they are born and will wonder how you could ever have felt any other way!!

FoodieMum - DH's cousin has four girls...

I felt a bit odd when we found out DD was a girl. I'd been so sure that I was having a boy I felt a bit lost, almost as if something had been taken away even though it hadn't iyswim.

This time I don't really have a feeling either way yet (15weeks) so we'll just have to see

The pie analogy above is fantastic

Bit happier today I think tbh like a poster said it was like a bit of an anticlimax. Think aswell been building up and getting excited for the 20 week scan and now its over and just the birth really to get excited about .Cant wait to get shopping although on a budget so cant go too mad.

Btw this is my 5th lol, Ive got 2 girls and 2 boys already so not quite sure why I got in a strop with myself yesterday haha