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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Who did you tell when labour started?

43 replies

Em1503 · 27/07/2014 07:22

Just wondering really. Did you let any close friends/family know that you had gone into labour or wait until little one had arrived to announce it?

I suppose I am asking because people keep asking me to let them know as soon as something starts happening. I'm not sure if I want to (other than my DSis) so just wondering what others have done. I will have DH with me so obv he will know too!

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Lozmatoz · 27/07/2014 07:35

Tell whoever YOU want. You're not obliged to tell anyone. I was induced first time round and didn't want anyone knowing (other than close family) that I was going in. If you tell lots of people it might just mean your DH gets loads if messages pestering him when he should be with you.

ithoughtofitfirst · 27/07/2014 07:39

Mum and DH for me. I will tell dh at first niggle then ring my mum when I'm sure it's the real deal.

fanjobiscuits · 27/07/2014 07:39

No one as was induced and it didn't really get going. But told no one we were going into hospital and glad we didn't as it was a long and complicated labour. People would have worried and updating them along the way would have been the last thing OH needed. He was in no fit state to be reassuring anyone at that point.

LizzieMint · 27/07/2014 07:40

We only told whoever was lined up for childcare (obv not first time!) in case we needed them. Everyone else was told once the baby had arrived.

hoboken · 27/07/2014 07:44

1st time DH, 2nd time DH then MIL who was staying to be there for DS when I went to hospital. 3rd time, same as 2nd except that this time MIL had to come across town.

fraggle84 · 27/07/2014 07:59

I text my friend who had 3 children as wasnt 100 % sure it was so she popped in and sat with me until I was sure then a rang dh

Apart from her we told my parents as they were too look after our dog

If you tell people you'll be bombarded with texts which is the last thing you want

Dogsmom · 27/07/2014 10:25

Husband obviously then parents, nobody else as I didn't want dh to be hassled with texts asking for updates, good job in the end as it was a 30 hour labour.

offside · 27/07/2014 10:37

This is something I've been thinking about too. I don't really want to tell anyone until we've had the baby but my mum for some reason has it in her head that she will know straight away and I know she'll expect to come to the hospital, which again, I dont want any visitors at the hospital. Additionally, if I have the brith I want then I'm hoping to be discharged the same day so there would be no reason for her to come to the hospital.

I need tp start putting me first and stop worrying about upsetting people I suppose.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/07/2014 11:01

We told both parents (woke them at 2am haha...). But no one else. They aren't the types to hassle or tell the world so it was fine.

Tell who you want, or don't. It's your baby!

Original poster

Em1503 · 27/07/2014 13:18

Thanks. Offside, that's the same with me, in the back of my mind I know it's my mum that I don't want to tell but she keeps texting asking if anything is happening yet and text yesterday saying make sure I tell her as soon as anything happens, day or night. Well I don't want to! I'm not close to her and don't want her knowing and texting at that stage for updates!

OP posts:

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 27/07/2014 13:24

Husband and Doula only. Both times. I think it's a little bit weird to announce when you go into labour, for me it's a pretty private thing and i didn't want any extra pressure from anyone asking how it's going.

Admittedly we did need to let my parents know right near the end with dc2 as we were supposed to be meeting them for lunch...

But it's totally up to you really... I've even seen a Facebook status saying "off to hospital! Contractions thick and fast, baby nearly here!!"

Lally112 · 27/07/2014 13:29

I called dh who was at uni, tried to start my car (which wouldnt) then told my neighbour who got his car and gave me a jumpstart so I could get to hospital. DH told his friend who drove and had a car to bring him through. That was before the days of smart phones and internet though

MsBug · 27/07/2014 13:38

Birth partners and people providing childcare only.

The last thing you need is people texting / calling when you're in labour. Your mum might think she wants to know but really she will be worrying about you the whole time so you will be doing her a favour by not telling her. If you think she would be offended then just tell her it all happened too fast and you didn't get time, or your phone wasn't charged.

Lalalax3 · 27/07/2014 13:52

I only really want my sister to know (apart from DH, obvs). My SILs will be real text pests and I've already had to have a word with them about hanging around outside the delivery room/hospital and seeing us and the baby straight away (which they seemed to think was absolutely fine). Thing is, DH thinks it'll really offend them if we don't tell them. Argh! So tricky!

Jcee · 27/07/2014 13:53

Just DP! We only told people once DD had arrived as I didn't want people hassling us for updates or turning up at hospital.

It was the right decision for us as it turned out labour was 3 days on and off with us goingvto and fro the hospital ending in emcs so it would have been really annoying having to keep updating everyone on what was happening and where we were!

You have to do what is right for you and don't worry about upsetting anyone as once baby has arrived no-one will care you didn't tell them!

weebairn · 27/07/2014 16:49

I only told my DP (well he was there when my waters broke spectacularly) and my friend who was coming to the labour. I am close to my parents and brothers but I didn't like the idea of anyone worrying about me, or feeling under pressure to deliver the baby. Labour was straightforward but 30 hours long so I was really glad I didn't tell anyone, they weren't all worrying about me, and we didn't have to send updates. Also once the baby was out (5.30am) there was no rush to call people in case they were worrying. We just called them around 10ish after we'd washed, eaten, fed baby a couple of times, settled in bed, etc. It was lovely.

offside · 27/07/2014 19:34

Em yep, I know how you feel! The funny thing is with my mum, she hasn't shown any interest in my pregnancy, hasn't bought the baby anything or even offered (although she'd bought my nieces loads of things before they were born) and I stopped going round to her house as I felt uncomfortable and she's never once throughout asked how I am. Nothing. And now, she wants to know as soon as I go into labour. Funnily enough, she has just called and in response to something she said well I'm waiting and leave my phone on all night waiting for a call. Granted, we have just moved into our house and my parents have been a Godsend, the house wouldn't be how it is now if it wasn't for their help but I still resent a bit that she's never once asked anything about my pregnancy or even acknowledged it and in fact, when we first told her, everything sje said was negative and how it was now going to affect her life!

I think what a pp said about saying there was no time and everything happened so quickly is the way to go!

ColdCottage · 27/07/2014 20:44

We planned to wait until our son was born. Ended up telling my parents as I had to go and labour there for a while (much closer than going home).

It was a good thing we did as I had a two day labour so would have had lots of people worrying for a long time.

It was really nice to tell them all (family) when he had arrived as the pain was over and we were just happy

Frizz1986 · 27/07/2014 21:23

Just dh, both sets of parents and my sister. In laws had to know so they could come get the dog and i didnt want them knowing and not my parents. My sister and me are quite close now and i wanted her to know as well.

Frizz1986 · 27/07/2014 21:25

Though to be fair my parents and sister (and her family) were visiting for xmas when early labour started (i just didnt realise) and we only told them when we were at the MLU and i was already 6cms (i only figured out it was labour very late)

beccajoh · 27/07/2014 21:25

Both sets of parents.

PickleSarnie · 28/07/2014 10:00

Noone the ssecond time round. Other than my friends who were looking after my eldest.

Callled my parents after DS2 was born to tell them I'd just had a baby on the living room floor (didn't tell them I was planning a homebirth either)

I think they probably preferred being told after. Saved them worrying.

Redling · 28/07/2014 11:25

My DH obviously and my parents. I don't want my mum to worry (they live 300 miles away) and I know it'll be crap for her to know I'm in labour and have to wait, but we have spoken about twice a day since I got pregnant and I think it would be worse for her to call me and get no answer repeatedly, because she'd know I might be in labour, but without us telling her she wouldn't know if there was a problem. Also they need to arrange coming to see the baby which I want them to do as soon as possible as I want them to have as much time with him as they can due to the distance we live at. But this might not be the case if they lived round the corner and could pop in whenever.

MrsNutella · 28/07/2014 13:07

We told no one until after DS had arrived. This time the only other person who will know is my friend who will look after DS for us.

I think the only reason people want to know straight away when baby is coming is because they have no idea that it might take days/ major surgery. If they understood that it might be another...... Hours/days until baby arrives safely then it would probably take the edge off of it a bit.

Op make sure you do only what you are comfortable with. It's your body and your baby!

I'm pretty sure if the PIL had known of ds's imminent arrival they would have behaved even worse than they managed to after he was born - they still make me so angry that I want nothing to do with them but that is a whole other thread

sparklingharbour · 28/07/2014 13:22

No-one, apart from your chosen birth partner/s! Unless you really want to. This is about you and the baby, no-one else.

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