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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

help, going out for meals in the first trimester

21 replies

alita7 · 05/04/2014 11:50

It's mils birthday lunch today. and I'm really worried. We haven't decided where we're going yet but at 9 weeks almost everything makes me feel like I'll vomit. I can eat select things and on certain occasions when I feel less ill can eat things I can't normally. I can't usually eat meat, fish or veg without gagging, which rules our most meals! :(

we were going to go to a buffet which would have been good as I could have picked what I could eat instead of a proper meal but it closed down.

so I'm freaking out a bit! pil and dsds do not know I'm pregnant yet as im waiting til the scan which makes it worse as I'm trying to hide it and can't really veto a place without seeming selfish or rude when it's her birthday...

DP is getting frustrated with me and doesn't seem to really get it.

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dozily · 05/04/2014 11:55

Poor you Could you just say from the outset you're not feeling well and just have bread or something? Is there anything you can reliably eat?

Original poster

alita7 · 05/04/2014 12:02

well I keep thinking I can always eat item x but then I go to eat it and all of a sudden I can't anymore. its more like crackers or crisps that I can always eat.

I can't really be feeling ill again or they'll guess as mil came over the other day and I was ill and the last weekend we had the girls 2 weeks ago, I was feeling ill.

OP posts:

stonehairbrush · 05/04/2014 12:04

I wouldn't go. Get DP to make your excuses for you (say you're poorly or whatever).

dobedobedo · 05/04/2014 12:05

I had to go out with family for meals in first trimester. It was rough! Try and get a table near the toilets and don't eat anything too spicy cos that will hurt.

nyldn · 05/04/2014 12:31

Ugh, the worst. Maybe suggest Italian and you can get the blandest pasta dish on the menu? Honestly, I felt pretty awful in the beginning and by 14 weeks (we waited for NIFTY results on Down's syndrome before telling anyone outside of immediate family) I was so tired of trying to keep it a secret that I just stopped going out at all.

Original poster

alita7 · 05/04/2014 12:56

I can't not go when we're all being picked up from my house and going straight to there's to stay over night afterwards as we're going to eat somewhere in their town :/ they decided the harvester. haven't been for a long time so not sure how likely they are to do anything edible :/

if only bland pasta was ok... but only completely plain pasta would be and I doubt they do anything without a sauce and alarm bells would go off if I asked for plain pasta :p

dp is frustrated as any solution he offers I have a problem with... possibly because I can't decide what makes me feel vomitous!!!!

OP posts:

Artandco · 05/04/2014 13:05

What about pizza? A basic cheese and tomato one? So Italian. Actually I think Italians best bet. Plain ish bruschetta or garlic bread. Calamari might work as fish but plain if covered with batter. Plain ish pasta or pizza

Or greek. Most greek places have you can just order big mezze platters between 2-4-6 people. Even if just you and dh shared you could pick at the pitta bread/ plain other bits. If its all on a platter they won't notice so much as everyone eats little at a time

Chinese - just special fried rice/ rice crackers. Same again if you order to share they won't notice what you do/ don't eat

Artandco · 05/04/2014 13:07

Or you could just say you visited a friend that afternoon who was upset and she insisted on you having some afternoon tea cake/ blah blah with her which you felt you couldn't refuse as would make her feel bad, so now your stuffed! And then can get away with a plain starter

Original poster

alita7 · 05/04/2014 13:15

unfortunately I don't get to choose where we go as it is her birthday meal :(

and they've just called dp saying were not going to the harvester, she wants to go for a roast dinner. I don't know where we're going, or if they will have anything other than meat only that were going to a place in their town that specialises in roasts (maybe a carvery). meat is the one thing I have not been able to eat at all even once in the past few weeks and so is the worst possible place we could go. The smell also makes me queasy :(

unfortunately I can't make excuses of seeing upset friends etc as I've been home with 3 dsds all morning who are more than old enough to be like what? You were with us???

I'm sure this is going to result in me running outside in tears. If I knew where we going the anxiety wouldn't be so bad but DP didn't even ask on the phone, all that was said was we've changed our minds were going for a roast.

OP posts:

Mygoldfishrocks · 05/04/2014 13:22

they're your family? can you consider just telling them why?

icklekid · 05/04/2014 13:30

I had many Christmas dinners before anyone knew- just picked at what I fancied often a potato and once a Yorkshire pudding and just said I had an upset stomach- I have ibs so people are used to me having stomach problems. Most of the time people are so busy eating they don't notice- Could dh help eat off your plate?

Original poster

alita7 · 05/04/2014 13:39

I wish I could just pick but the problem will be that I will need to eat something :p

gold fish we've got the kids with us and my last pregnancy was a mmc discovered at 13 weeks at the scan so we can't tell the kids until the scan as that would be upsetting for them if it happened again :/

I know it seems like I have an answer for every solution but I guess that's what pregnancy is like, if there is a solution ill be surprised! but being able to moan to people in the know is very helpful as DP thinks I'm being difficult.

OP posts:

McBaby · 05/04/2014 13:46

I would order a vege roast dinner and then eat the plain bits like potato and yorkshires ask for gravy etc on the side and get DP to eat off your plate as well if you want it to look emptier.

Original poster

alita7 · 05/04/2014 14:21

well guess who just vomited in the loo.. I haven't properly done so yet this pregnancy except with chocolate and now I think it must be because I've been very careful to only eat exactly what I want and avoid anything that makes me feel ill.

The menu other than carvery was only veggie stuff like Quorn and nut roast which is yucky and they didn't have a pasta on the menu.

so I had a plate and just got some baked beans, carrots, peas and mash... none of which I actually wanted.

right I'm going to rejoin now the eating bit is hopefully over!

OP posts:

Tranquilitybaby · 05/04/2014 14:54

Oh dear you poor thing. Could you say you have terrible indigestion and avoid anything else?

weebairn · 05/04/2014 15:00

I would say you're ill with a virus and have been being sick. That should cover it. Pretending to be well when you feel like death is the pits.

Original poster

alita7 · 05/04/2014 15:10

on the bright side I now feel much better!

I had nearly finished my plate so luckily there was no need to eat anything else. But I'm almost 100% sure the cat is pretty much out the bag even if no one asks.

I've been 'ill' every time they've seen me for ages so the excuse is running out :p

OP posts:

weebairn · 05/04/2014 15:11

Ah well. If they're polite they just won't say anything. I am 14 weeks myself and a lot of people I've told have just nodded sagely and said, yeah, well, given you've been "ill" for three months we kind of figured...

squizita · 05/04/2014 17:13

Little white lie - "I think I picked up a bug but am eating like a bird right now - just a salad and some bread for me..." perhaps?

Don't do what I did and try to brave your way through a very spicy/rich meal so no one would guess. I had to feign a migraine and go home early whereupon I puked mightily and pooped for several hours.

Plateofcrumbs · 05/04/2014 17:36

Yes, realistically people will probably suspect whatever you do, but most understand that they shouldn't say anything until you announce it.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 05/04/2014 21:48

Well done for getting through it even though you were not well! I had the same problem when we went to a meal with family very early on. The family member cooked a lovely roast gammon meal etc which I would normally love but just couldn't stomach. Just as main course was finishing I went to the bathroom as casually as I could manage and threw up the lot! They did figure it out but were polite enough not to mention it until much later! Hope you feel better soon

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