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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you tell dc1?

12 replies

Tea1Sugar · 22/09/2013 17:16

Im 9/10 weeks pregnant. Dd is 3.4 and will be 3.11 when dc2 arrives. I don't think I'll tell her until about 24 weeks, but I've heard conflicting views ranging from tell them early to give them time to get use to the idea vs tell them at the end. Wwyd?

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Andanotherthing123 · 22/09/2013 17:33

I told DC1 after the 3 month scan - he's 6 and totally 'got' that baby would arrive after Christmas. His response will be something I cherish forever as he was so amazed and excited. But he loves babies and had already proved himself a brilliant big brother when DC2 came along when he was 2. DC2 (3.5) was told at the same time but he has a learning disability so it's a bit different to the norm. He was very happy though and strokes my tummy and says 'baby' which is lovely. It also helped him understand he needs to be gentle with my tummy, which he wasn't being before.

I'm glad I told them at 3 months, but I can appreciate it's a looooong wait till baby arrives.i think waiting till 24 weeks is fine and plenty of time to let DD get used to the idea. But it has worked for us to share our news earlier too, especially when it comes to the 'don't be boisterous around mummy' bit!!

pokesandprodsforthelasttime · 22/09/2013 17:37

I don't think there's any right or wrong time to tell them, although it's probably best to wait until you've had a scan to ensure everything's ok.

Saying that, I told my DD at 10 weeks pregnant, but I was very sick and she was worried. Also DH and I kept slipping up and talking about it in front of her, and she ain't stupid - she knew something was up But she's 6 so able to understand much more then a 3 year old.

BopsX3 · 22/09/2013 17:40

I told DS1 and DS2 about a week before my 20 week scans and took them with me to my scan. I think seeing the baby on screen helped them to understand what was going on.

I also took them baby shopping with me and got them to choose DS3s clothes, cot, Moses basket, bouncy chair etc

cravingcake · 22/09/2013 17:41

We told DS as soon as we knew (around 4 werks). But he is only 23 months & doesnt really understand. When asked where baby is he pats my bump though.

Only thing i would worry about with waiting until 24 weeks if is other people would say anything to DD (i.e nursery or neighbor asking if they are excited about being a big sister).

RandomMess · 22/09/2013 17:43

I told the just three year old about the baby a few weeks before the baby was born, she still asked where the baby's mummy was when we brought her newest sibling home

roofio87 · 22/09/2013 19:29

Just be careful if you're going to tell her after telling other people. my sis decided to wait and had to face a very angry ds with lots of question when someone asked him if he was excited to be getting a new sister!! (he was only 3 then and understood perfectly what that meant!!)

TooTryHard · 22/09/2013 19:35

We told ours at 12 weeks. It was talked about to other people so much that they would have overheard anyway. And they loved loved loved telling anyone we bumped into first.

Ihavethislittlesister · 22/09/2013 20:29

We told dd1 after the 12 wk scan before anyone else. She was the next most significant person to know after DH and I. She was just over 3 and really understood as she had been asking for a sister for ages (which is what she got they are now 4.5 and almost 1 )

Ihavethislittlesister · 22/09/2013 20:31

Meant to say we didn't want her hearing from someone else. We hadn't banked on her telling the world and his wife ! So v glad we waiting until it was official!

lonesomeBiscuit · 22/09/2013 21:12

We ignored all the advice we'd been given about not telling older sibling till just a few weeks beforehand and told our 2.5 year old "there was a baby in mummy's tummy" shortly after we found out - about 6 week mark. For us it was natural to involve him from the start. Also we were likely to be talking about it between ourselves so it would have been odd to have to keep it a secret within our own house, to avoid him overhearing.

He has been totally cool about it. I don't think he's linked the "baby in mummy's tummy" yet with what it will be like to have a real sibling but he is quite happy/aware that there is a baby there. He strokes my tummy sometimes and is aware that he was once in mummy's tummy too (sometimes he asks to go back). He also likes to differentiate himself from baby eg I sometimes out of habit say "it is sleep time for babies" (meaning him). He'll point to my tummy and say "baby sleeping" and indicate that he can therefore continue wide awake!

EnidClowes · 22/09/2013 21:30

We told DD after the 12 week scan. She was 2.6 and will be 3 when DC2 arrives. She understand, cuddles my tummy and talks about when the baby is here and how she's going to be a big sister. We wanted her know once we'd had the scan as it was more confirmed then, obviously anything can happen and expaning a loss at any point would be hard but just wanted to reduce the risk a little. Hope that makes sense

PastaBeeandCheese · 23/09/2013 07:44

I told DD after 12 week scan and showed her the picture and pictures of babies in tummies on the Internet.

She was 1.9 so I honestly thought she would immediately forget but to my surprise she hasn't and regularly points at my tummy saying 'Aaah baby' and has taken a great interest in a baby doll she was given on her birthday.

Really surprised by her reaction to be honest. I'm sure she doesn't understand the concept but the fact she had even remembered has surprised me. It helps that some of her friends have new baby sisters!

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