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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

BFP! When can I tell people? What do I do next and other questions?

23 replies

Charingcrossbun · 07/07/2013 17:07

So having played it very cool this month and convinced myself that I was no preggers but that was ok (the 2 bfn at 2days and 7days late helped) I took a test today that said big fat Pregnant 1-2weeks! Very exciting! but Here come the questions!
How pregnant? I am 16days late so must have been pregnant when got the bfn last week. So the 1-2 sign on the clear blue test must be from my HCG levels and therefore not right? I put my last period date into the pregnancy calendar and it said I was 6 weeks pregnant - but my period was 6weeks ago so that doesn't make sense either. I suppose none of this matters but I want to know so I can plan.
When do I see the Doc? When is it acceptable to tells people?

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misskatamari · 07/07/2013 17:13

Congratulations!!!! I'm not a font if knowledge as only 9 weeks pregnant with my first but I believe you count from the first day if your last period so yep you would be 6 weeks pregnant if your last period started 6 weeks ago

I'm terms of doctors etc it seems to be different in each area. I rang my doctors surgery the day after my BFP and they made a midwife appointment for me the next week. At that she tools some blood and urine samples and gave me some stuff to read. She also measured height, weight and carbon monoxide levels and set up another appointment for to tomorrow which is apparently a longer appointment where we go through family history and whether I want the downs screening scan (can't remember it's name). It seems that in some areas they do all of that type of stuff in one go though at about 9 weeks.

I think the next thing is then a scan at 12 weeks (although I have booked a private one in for this week to as I'm too impatient and want to check everything is okay).

I'd probably give the docs a ring tomorrow and see what they say. Congrats again!

Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 07/07/2013 17:18

Thank you! Feels so good to talk to someone about such things! Have told my chap (actually I just threw the stick at him - which thinking about it was pretty gross but I was excited and he didn't notice!) but he is rubbish with my girly obsessing stuff!
It is slightly awkward however that he was away in Australia until 5 weeks ago!! Hehe! That should set tongues wagging!

Have you told any of your friends or family? He wants to ring his parents etc but I'm worried that it is too early.....

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Ginformation · 07/07/2013 17:31

Congratulations!

You may have ovulated late this month hence the initial negative test, or it depends on the type of test you use, some detect lower levels of the pregnancy hormone than others.

With regards telling people, it's up to you, but think about how you would deal with telling them about a loss should things not go right for you (sorry, not what you want to be thinking about right now). Personally I haven't told anyone except dh about pregnancies until after 12 week scan. But I prefer to keep things to myself and would not want friends or family to know about a miscarriage (I have had 2 mcs).

PumpkinPie2013 · 07/07/2013 17:32

Congratulations!!!

As has been said you calculate from the first day of your last period and then when you have your 12 week scan they give you a due date based on size of baby as it's more accurate. When I had my scan I thought I was exactly 12 weeks from 1st day of last period but measured 12 weeks 6 days so I must have ovulated quite early.

Definitely ring your gp surgery and ask how they do it as it's different for different areas

In terms of telling it's obviously a personal choice but we only told parents before our 12 week scan and then told everyone else after when we knew things were ok oh I actually told my manager at 7 weeks as well
due to my job but only because I knew I could trust him to keep it quiet and keep me safe as well :-)

I'm almost 20 weeks now and feeling kicks but it doesn't seem 2 mins ago since I was where you are! Very exciting!! X

Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 07/07/2013 17:53

Thank you - especially Ginformation it is exactly what I need to hear to stop me getting carried away and telling everyone! Sorry to hear about your mcs.
I Have a meal with my out laws soon and sister in law is pregnant - think I will blame my teetotalness on antibiotics and avoid telling too early/stealing her thunder/being brow beaten into accepting the hand me down crib my mother out law has been trying to off load.

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Ginformation · 07/07/2013 17:56

Sorry, my post sounded rather negative, should point out that I have 1 ds and another successful pregnancy in progress now, as well as 2 mcs.

Phone your GP as others have said, in our area you see the MW at about 6 weeks, no one is bothered before then, and no need to see GP unless you have as medical condition/on long term meds. Just make sure you start taking pregnancy vitamins (in partic folic acid and vit d) asap.

Ginformation · 07/07/2013 18:01

X post.

It is nice to have a secret with dp at first imo. Later in pregnancy you become public property, everyone asking about your piles etc and touching your belly without an invite , it's lovely to have some breathing space to get adjusted at first.

With regards alcohol avoidance excuses, I found that drinking tonic without gin worked for me, as long as no one heard me order it, or ordered a drink for me

Kelly1814 · 07/07/2013 18:14

I am 26+5 and only just told work colleagues today.

Had a very high risk pregnancy with lots of scares, hence the reticence.only told parents at 20 weeks.

I loved having a secret! As others have said, you are public property when pregnant, I hate that.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 07/07/2013 18:19

I'm currently 5+4 with my first. We've agreed not to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan.

As far as Drs go, I went to my GP surgery only to be told that I now have to make appointments direct with the midwife team. I called them up and was told they like to see you around 8 weeks so I have an appt for 25th July.

Depending on your job you may want to tell your boss. If you have a manual job, or handle hazardous materials it is better to tell them in confidence now so that appropriate risk assessments can be made.

Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 07/07/2013 20:25

Why do you say 26+5 and 5 +4. Is that weeks and days?

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FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 07/07/2013 20:39

Yes.

Kelly1814 · 07/07/2013 20:40

Yes you're right! All seems very odd at the beginning but you start to get very focused on this, especially if there has been any risk of not getting through the pregnancy!

Oh and congratulations by the way!

Shellywelly1973 · 07/07/2013 21:58

Congratulations! I think all your questions have been answered but have a look on MN pregnancy info- helpful stuff for 1st time mums.

ceara · 08/07/2013 07:01

Congratulations!

It seems to vary by area so best thing is to phone your GP surgery and go from there. Here the procedure is to go and see the GP to report the news in person (complete waste of time unless you have as medical condition to discuss), GP refers to community midwife and first midwife appt is around 11 weeks. Everywhere seems to have its own system!

As for telling people, to give a different perspective we told parents and line managers the day we got the news and other family and a few close friends after the 7 week early scan confirmed a clinical pregnancy. But we told people with the proviso it was early days and the embryo might not stay with us - not as a celebratory announcement. As an IVF pregnancy, we never had that feeling of it being our secret - I was about the 12th person to learn I was pregnant, a whole medical team had the news first - and our parents and line managers knew the timing of treatment so had to be told really! We've only told the people whose support we would rely on if we have bad news (as we did after the first ivf cycle). It has actually been such a help during these anxious early weeks to know the people we love are cheering this baby on to grow. We will only make it more public if we get through the 12 week scan and test results OK next week though I don't think I will feel safe until we have a baby to bring home.

lulubear1 · 08/07/2013 13:26

Congratulations!!!!

I am 8 weeks with first but day after BFP i made an appointment with GP and saw her that day. She gave me info about what not to eat, no drinking, smoking etc. and took my blood pressure and a urine sample and told me which vitemin to took and then asked which hospital i wanted to go to. She then sent off my info to the hospital who send an appointment at 10 weeks for first midwife appointment. She asked me to come back after 4 weeks but that was just to check i was alright and to see if i had any questions, no tests or anything were done.

I have told my parents and siblings but not friends or work or anything as will do that when i have my first scan and check all is ok.

Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 08/07/2013 15:14

Oh wow lulubear your gp sound good,
Mine gave me a phone appointment, told me not to smoke or drink (der), told me it was very early and said she would get the midwife to book me a 12 week scan. I know I'm being unreasonable but I felt like I was wasting her time a little!
I'm going to be on holiday at my 12 week point - can I have an early scan do you think? 10+5 days scan? If not it'll have to be a 13+5 week scan. Does it matter?

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Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 08/07/2013 15:15

And other important question - can I eat smacked salmon? Does it count as raw fish?

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Rosenip · 08/07/2013 15:18

13+5 is better in my view. Your baby will look much more like a baby with all the right bits and bobs which is what they need to check for :)

Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 08/07/2013 15:25

Smoked salmon not smacked salmon!!

OP posts:

Ginformation · 08/07/2013 21:23

smoked and smacked salmon are both fine. nhs advice on what food to avoid

Re your scan, there is a small time frame in which to get nuchal screening for Down. Syndrome. This may not be very relevant to you if you are young. I think most areas offer combined screening for Downs, your MW will give you details on tests available to you. I think the latest is technically 14+1 for the scan but my local hosp prefer up to 13+5.

lulubear1 · 09/07/2013 12:51

I am going on holiday to Florida at 11 weeks for 2 weeks and asked about an early scan but the hospital said no purely as they need to do the nuchal scan which they said you have to be between 11+5 and 13+6 so i have about 3 days to have it done when i return. She did say that it was ok to fly and just to drink lots of water and make sure you get up and walk about on the plane every 30 minutes as more prone to DVTs.

applepieinthesky · 09/07/2013 13:14

You don't have to have the nuchal test. I didn't.

In my area the doctor doesn't see anyone until 10weeks but this could be different where you are so call the surgery and ask.

It's up to you how early or late you tell people. I didn't want to tell anyone before the 12week scan in case anything went wrong. I only told my mum the night before the scan because I wanted her to come with me. I told other family after the scan but didn't tell work until 15 weeks.

Original poster

Charingcrossbun · 09/07/2013 19:34

I cracked and told my boss today (swearing her to secrecy and explaining I knew it was super early) but I went all faint and dizzy whilst bending down and she looked so worried I felt I had to say something!
TBH had a really stressful horrid day at work today and can hear that voice on my shoulder asking - do you need to do this tomorrow? Wouldn't a day resting be better for you.....

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