Work dilemma ( not in the uk)

[Kelly1814]

Hi everyone

I have a dilemma. I'm 15 weeks, had a cerclage this week, signed off work for 2 weeks as a result. I live in a country where maternity rights are minimal, 45 days leave after birth, no real rights whilst pregnant.

Employer doesn't know I'm up the duff, I wanted to get out of the woods with the stitch before telling them. They dont know what my op was this week. I can't see it going down too well, it's a very demanding high pressured job. They are currently expecting me back at work next week ( what doc had originally estimated as time off needed, this changed after the op). I'm due a performance review and salary increase next week which I was due to meet them on. Now I'm not sure what to do...

1. tell them I am off sick but not reveal pregnancy, continue with review next week to get pay rise (deserved by the way, have performed well and worked like a dog for them for five years)

2. tell them am up the duff and off sick and risk them using it against me to kibosh any pay rise, or worse, sack me (they can legally do this). I am obviously going to have to tell them eventually so wonder if should just get out of the way now.

I am not concerned about the job from a career point of view, I am well established, but we do really need my salary right now ( paying for all medical treatment ourselves)

The stitch has been stressful enough without worrying about what to do about work.

Ay thoughts gratefully received and sorry this was a bit long! K x

I think in your position I'd say you're off sick, not reveal pregnancy, at this stage - get Drs note to support the fact you need 2 weeks off. Continue with review and once you are sure you are out of the woods with the pregnancy - at some point before you start to show (some people I know only told people after their 20 week scan) - disclose your pregnancy. If they chose to terminate you then, then tha't's what they decide to do but at least you will have your salary till then.

How much more time do you need off sick?

Thank both, they have signed me off for two weeks, I do feel I need some more rest but think I could go back after one and can suggest that to them.

Small issue that my sick note very clearly says cervical cerclage/risk of miscarriage on it....but I could hold off handing it over for a while I am sure...

Hmmm, tricky. I think I would put back the PR for a week if you can. You need your sick leave - you had a tricky op and need to be well rested and hydrated etc.
Do you have to give the sick note to the people doing the PR or can you give it to HR and ask them to keep it quiet for now. If so, I would tell them after the PR. That might be sneaky but you need to be judged on what you have done and not what they think you'll do in the future.

I would just say i'd 'had a medical proceedure' which I think is telling the truth without revealing too much.

can you get the doc to re-write the sick note?

as soon as i share any sick note with HR or my MD it will be shared between them, there will be no confidentiality.

thus far they know it's a cervical procedure (i had a lletz 18 months ago and was off then) so they have assumed it is in the same league.

the idea of getting the doc to re-write the sick note is also a good one and i have just emailed her asking if this is possible.

thanks everyone. am stressed enough as it is, the stitch wasn't straightforward and my head is in pieces, i really do not need the additional worry of work and how to deal with them.

It sounds as if you're in the ME and my experience is that doctors will be willing to rewrite sick notes to protect confidentiality. I would do the PR and then let HR know that you're pregnant.