advice please! should I persevere or give up?

[rubadubadoo]

Hi I would be grateful for any advice. My ds will be 3 in December. He is quite able and 'shows' the requirements for training,i.e, dresses and undresses himself,fiercely independent about everything and doing things for himself. He knows what the potty is for, indeed has taken himself to the potty several times without me knowing to do either a wee or poo. Before dressing and getting ready for bed he uses the potty too. He is also very keen on his 'big boy' pants. I thought he would be more than ready but I'm getting so frustrated ( trying not to show it though!). I've tried twice recently to train him and have only lasted until midday before going back to nappies as when I gently remind him to go he either refuses to sit on the potty or says he doesn't need it and then promptly pees everywhere! On Friday morning he went through 5 pairs of pants and trousers and socks although he did manage to do 2 big pees and a poo on the potty one of which was without me asking him to ( He seems to wee a lot! I don't think he has any long dry spells. Is this a) just what happens in training? b)him not being ready or c) just difficult? Please help as I don't want to force the issue with him but I also don't want to let this drag on if he is ready?

My DS had a few problem with toilet training but we perservered. He continued to have issues (holding in his poo) until the age of about 6. With my dd I tried and again we had problems so I stopped and tried again about a year later ( she was about 3.5) and I trained her in a day I have another little boy and I will do as I did for dd.

I think that it is better to wait until they are really really ready.

I would just go for it and try to be as patient as you can (v tough I know). DD (2.8) was exactly the same, what made it worse was that some days she would get it just fine and then the next day we would be back to square one again.

I spoke to HV for advice and decided to just go for it - chuck out the nappies and in with the pants and I am glad we did. Although it was a right pain all of a sudden it just clicked and she also seems to have much better bladder control now and does not seem to need to pee anywhere near as often.

We have not had an accident for a couple of weeks now.

I was advised to put her on the potty at regular intervals at the same time each day. So on waking, just before morning & afternoon snack times and about 20 mins after lunch.

Good luck.

Thanks Jumpyjan - I think I just needed someone to say go for it. I keep hearing not to rush and wait until he is really, really ready but I fear if I keep waiting that perfect day will never come! My gut instinct has been saying for a while it is something I need to do and that he is ready for but with an 8 month old daughter to care for too I think I've just been scared of the extra work and hassle. Can I ask if it is normal to have lots of lots of accidents at the start and that it is just something I have to accept as part of his learning process and making the connection? On a practical level how do you cope with pee on the furniture?

Hey Rubaduboo. I know where you are coming from, I have a now 6 month old DS and guess he must have been about 3 months when we really went for it with potty training and it is hard work but once it clicks its a lot less work for you as now DD takes herself off to the loo instead of me having to change her nappy.

I think having lots of accidents is normal, it certainly was for DD. I just took the potty everywhere we went for a bit and kept reminding her all the time. I soon learnt not to ask her 'do you want a wee' as she would say no then wee everywhere so instead I just put her on the potty and sure enough she would wee. Poo's took a bit longer but one day it just clicked. I made a big fuss of saying well done whenever she did something in the potty and if she had an accident tried to explain next time to do it in the potty. It really is enough to try the patience of a saint!

Fortunately we did not get any wee on the furtniture but loads on the carpet. I used to just try to clean it up with wet wipes and dettol spray but now that we have finished potty training am going to hire a carpet cleaner!

Potty training is a total pain and I am not looking forward to doing it all again with DS but one day it will all of a sudden click and then your life will be much easier.

I would stop the sudden transition to underwear in fear of creating a potty phobia. He is already well on his way. I would keep him in nappies and have regular toilet breaks. Tell him it's time, don't ask. (If you ask he hasn't been thinking about it, so says no, then realises he does need to and it's too late.) Because he's in nappies there's no pressure for either of you. You could make it a game/do a reward system and if he's definitely not in the right frame of mind, you can say "okay we'll go after we've ....." (Usually they don't want to go because they're in the middle of something interesting.)