Anyone else got a 3.5 year old who will not be 'trained'?

[pickupthismess]

My DS is now three and a half (actually getting near three and three quarters). He is resolutely un-potty trained. He did four poos today, two in his little pants, one in the garden (had no pants on) and one on the decking ten minutes after I cleaned up the garden one.

I took him out of nappies in October last year (other than night pants). I put him on the potty very regularly so I catch most wees. He has literally pooed in the potty once in all that time and even he looked surprised.

This isn't really about potty techniques - I've tried them all (star charts, rewards, potties in every room etc etc) more to find out if others have had this kind of issue.

Can he really be so daft as to want to keep pooing his pants every single day? My DH and mother want me to go and see a HV or GP. DH because he is so sick off cleaning up poo off trousers, pants, floors......

DS1 was trained as 2.5 and we have used exactly the same routine.

Blimey i could've written most of that myself. Ds1 is 3.9, we also started training in October and he will not be trained. We've also tried every trick in the book. Ds1 doesn't 'do' bribes with anything not just potty training so that doesn't work. He knows when he needs to go but would rather lie squirming around on the floor with his legs crossed for half an hour than just take 2 minutes to go to the loo. Arrrggghhh

I'm at the end of my tether atm moment and have also considered the gp/hv option. He is currently back in nappies for the sake of all our sanity's as i just couldn't hide my frustration anymore.

So know that you are not alone, which doesn't help get him trained but is hopefully reassuring to know you aren't the only one.

It is GREAT to hear I'm not alone
I'm interested you have put him back in nappies as DH wants to do that (for his sanity) but I think if I do that then I will go back to square one. Has it changed your DS1's behaviour?

I am trying so hard not to get mad but I was so fed up this evening and said 'are you just stupid?' then was really sorry!

Dh wanted to put him back in nappies much earlier but i resisted thinking all the hard work we had done so far would have been a waste but it just got to the point where he's so bad it all seemed like a waste of time anyway.

I think when i got to the point of hiding behind the door and silently screaming "FFS just go to the f*ing toilet" i figured we both needed a break.

I ask him in the morning if he wants to wear pants or a nappy, most of the time he says nappy, but sometimes he says pants so i just go with the flow. Morning are always better and sometimes we can actually get to lunch time without an accident although he still has to be told to go.

I try and encourage pants wearing but not really push it atm. If however he is still in nappies in October when he is 4 then I think the nappy fairy is going to come and take away all his (daytime) nappies.

Goodness knows what'll happen if he doesn't train them. I think i'll give up and go and hide in a cave up a lonely mountain and never come down again

Save a space for me.

Today I put him in a nappy to go to pre-school with my mother and thank God I did because he did the mother of all poos apparently. He's embarassed to be reminded but he seems quite unable/unwilling to just go to the toilet. I am really conscious that everyone if his peers is now entirely potty trained

Same here. Some of his peers (even younger ones) are practically night trained too.

He has gone to pre-school in pants today. He seems to do a bit better there (peer pressure?)

I reckon ds2 (16months) will be trained before ds1.

Its so nice to know im not on my own with this problem. Ive got a 3 and a half year old boy and it seems like he just cant be bothered to go to the toilet! I know he can because he does at bedtime to prolong going to bed, and sometimes goes once in the day if im lucky too! ive been trying to train him since last year. he wears pull ups in the day because to be honest i just cant deal with the accidents considering i do the school run for my eldest and have a 5 month old too. Im at my wits end. he was suppose to be starting playschool last week but i know that if he did do a poo in his pull ups theres no way he'd let them change him because we tried playschool for a couple of weeks in january and he screamed the place down (thats another story though lol!) whats your next step now regarding training?