Not one wee in the potty in 3 days - what have we done wrong?

[Alittleknowledge]

BG: My 2y5m son has been using the potty intermittently for poos for months with good communication so we thought we would give the “oh crap potty training” method this week, hopeful for some good progress as we had 10 days we could offer it before we needed to travel. He’s your typical strong willed toddler and has been a total nightmare with sleep despite sleep training.

It’s been a bit of a disaster - we did 3 full days of 100% one to one, not turning your back on him watching like a hawk and didn’t make it anywhere near completion of block 1 - sitting on the potty and weeing on it bare bummed.
In fact we didn’t manage to get him to do a single wee in the potty.

We couldn’t even get him to sit on the potty! Use of Bribes/bubbles/stickers were ineffectual - probably as we had no good outcomes to really reward to positively reinforce. He’s previously sat on it so this surprised us. By the afternoon today he was throwing huge tantrums and going stiff as a board if we brought him towards the potty when he was showing signs, only to run off and wee in the corner/over the potty if we got there in time - so we’ve put him back in nappies (we’ve got a formal event we have to attend at the end of next week where being naked and weeing on the floor will not be an option).

The only thing it feels we’ve learned is what it looks like immediately before he needs to wee, and how to throw a potty between his legs to catch it so only 50% of it goes on the floor. Never have I been so glad to own a spot cleaner!

What did we do wrong?
We really don’t want a repeat of this at round 2 when it comes.

I personally think doing it half heartedly or intermittently for a while is unhelpful. You don’t do it or you properly do it 2 feet in. You go for it for 3 days every week or poo nappy off. That’s my thinking.

perhaps you should stop for a bit. And then do the full method from scratc

I would have stopped for a while too, it’s not worth this much stress when he’s not even 2.5 yet. Try again in a couple of months, that can make loads of difference for a toddler

You need to be able to reach him and the potty at the same time, the whole time, so that the wee isn't finished before you get him on the potty to finish it. But you do need to commit - once you start, that's it, no more nappies in any scenario. Carry potty goes with you everywhere. He's not too young, mine were done at 16 months and 20 months, but you can't go back and forth. I also wouldn't bother with rewards. It's just a fact now - wees go in the potty. Praise sure, but it adds a lot of pressure if there's a reward that can be earned and lost.

I work full time so 3 days every week isn't an option for us sadly. We were offering the potty as he was asking for it. We are going to stop offering now.

This is exactly what we were doing, but he will not sit on the potty in this circumstance and by today he was actively fighting us when we brought him to the potty. Most guidance actively states do not force your child onto the potty if they don't want to go as it can create a negative association?

How long did it take your littles to get trained so you could physically leave the house without them weeing all over the floor of sainsburys/church etc? He can't just go around wetting the floor of those places and 2 seconds notice (which is all we get) isn't enough to whip out a travel potty.
If it took 7 days of them only weeing on your floor not a potty, fair enough, i'll give it another go when I next have a week of annual leave.

My son didn’t need any kind of reward but my daughter potty trained four weeks ago (26 months) and is basically a labrador. Choccy buttons worked really well for her 😆

I don’t personally rate Oh Crap but I honestly wouldn’t worry about this at all. If he’s cracked the poos I promise in a couple of months he’ll get the wees no issues.

I tried DD at 2 years 6 months and it was a disaster, she just weed everywhere. I tried again three months later and she got it immediately.

@Alittleknowledge so we would always do a transition wee, which we had a breakthrough with when we said that we would go to the park once he had had a wee on the potty. And then backed right off. I was fully prepared to not go to the park that day if we didn't get a wee on the potty, so no pressure. But that meant he went and had a wee, and we then went out. At this point my 20 month old couldn't talk, so when out I would always show him where his potty was so that he could look or point at it (mostly he just looked) when he needed a wee and I'd (very quickly) get it out. There was a point when he said he let me know he needed a wee in Tesco and I had to make a call between him wetting himself in the trolley or getting the potty out in the middle of the shop (I went for option two) but then did decide that home delivery had a few benefits 😂 but overall, for both we had about two days at home, then outdoor activities, and then things like soft play after a week provided they'd had a wee before leaving the house and on arrival (again saying we'll go and play once we've had a wee - and not letting them leave the table until we'd had a successful toilet trip).
One thing that is worth considering is the actual potty you're using. Some are pretty uncomfortable. We've got one with a higher back and removable middle which both of mine found comfy.

@Anothercake Wow - It sounds like you had dream potty trainees! Only two days before you could leave home? We were a very long way off that!

Good suggestion on checking the comfort of the potty. He didn't seem all that impressed by either of the options, and whilst the toilet seat insert was ok to try on, we simply couldn't get there in time.

I got mine to sit on the potty and watch tv for as long as it took for a wee to come out (quite a long time!) then praised like mad, made a big deal of going together to flush it down the toilet, then got them to play with no pants on in the same room as the potty with frequent encouragement to sit on the potty and see if they needed a wee. Maybe try getting him to sit on it frequently and praise a lot so he’s more willing to get on it? Even if he’s got a nappy on, he might get the idea of staying put, it sounds like at the moment he doesn’t want to interrupt his playing to wee!

Mine were both completely trained within 5 days. I am not exaggerating, they only ever had a handful of accidents in the first few days then went back to nursery in pants and never had an accident.

I really think timing is important, they need to be physically and emotionally ready. At your DSs age he probably just needs a little bit longer in nappies then it will click

Agree with the point about them being ready but it’s also hard to know. DS2 was fully potty trained in a day, and I’m not exaggerating. I was keen to put it off as I thought it was going to be a disaster with him, and his nappies were still so full overnight (whereas DS1 was dry before we even potty trained) that I thought he’s nowhere near ready. But we had a clear weekend so figured give it a go and if it doesn’t work then try again in a couple of months. He peed on the floor once on the first morning and that was it, he knew he had to run to the potty for a pee or a poo, and from that night he was also dry overnight.

So even though he showed no obvious signs of being ready, and his communication wasn’t that great either, he clearly was and I just hadn’t realised. There’s obviously a sweet spot when they’re ready and I think it’s mostly luck if you potty train then!

(Didn’t mean to use the same words as you when I said I’m not exaggerating!).

I’d pause, do your trip and then try again in a while. Sounds too pressured trying to do it before your travel. Hes still young