Potty Training my autistic son

[SPT2001]

Hi Everyone,

I understand I am probably going to get some judgemental people commenting horrible things on this post but only positive advise is what Im willing to take on board.

I have a 5 year old who is still in nappies. He is on the high spectrum of autism and he has ADHD. Getting him to wear pants in a nightmare and he starts full time school in September so any advice from SEN parents would be particularly helpful and appreciated.

He is always moving and never sits still. My whole family have tried different approaches to get him to use the potty or toilet and the SEN advice given has also been unsuccessful.

Recently it has been a struggle to even get him to change his nappy once he's soiled it. The school have said he has started wearing pants and using the toilet in school but then as soon as he gets home he screams until a nappy is put on him. I have put him in pants before and got nothing but screaming for hours and he just ends up soiling his underwear and refuses to go anywhere near the toilet.

Any advise would be great and I'm happy to provide more info if needed!

Thankyou

What communication does he use? Would he understand pictures or symbols on a now/next bord showing putting pants on then getting a biscuit or trying on toilet then doing a fun activity?

My daughter is lower on the spectrum but we did toilet train her eventually when she was ready during lockdown, she was 7. We used social stories and symbols to support and went straight onto the toilet, rather than a potty. ERIC has resources that might be useful https://eric.org.uk/children-additional-needs/ . Is he under PACE clinic?

I have an autistic child and he was so attached to his nappy, we toilet trained over many years, just waiting at each stage until he was ready. Over-ready even, I think it wasn’t a sensory issue so much as it was a comfort/attachment/habit. But I was really worried about putting him off going and risking withholding, constipation etc.

We got him to sit in his nappy on the potty/toilet and go like that. We were at that stage for a long time.
We made a small hole in the nappy so that anything dropped through. He was surprised at first but fine with it.
We made the hole bigger and bigger over time, to the point where just the waistband was left. I even made a washable waistband out of elastic so I could stop cutting up nappies. One day he decided to go on the toilet without it.
It took another year to get him to wipe himself. He’s fully independent now.

I also ready a successful case study on Eric about the reverse, spreading a nappy out I think under the seat of the toilet, and then making it smaller and smaller. It meant having to fish out the used nappy from the toilet though.

We also had OT advice, who said to make sure the child feels really secure on the seat, give them something to hold onto like handles.

Good luck. I understand how hard and frustrating it is.

Also do you have an EHCP? We had an intimate care plan written with our school so they would have put a nappy on him and cleaned him if needed, but he didn’t want to go at school anyway.

DS also has Autism and ADHD and was nearly 5 when he managed it. He was basically scared of the toilet and potty, it wasn't an interoception issue. But with ADHD rewards can be a big motivator and this was the key for him. Not just a sweet but a toy he really wanted for about the first 10 poos in the potty or toilet. We also tried a variety of different potties and portable urinals and bought a seat with handles and a decent step for when he did graduate to the toilet.