Losing the Plot

[CL22]

Hi,

In desperate need of advice, similar experiences or tips to help potty train our recently turned 3yo.

We introduced a potty in the house just before she turned two. No pressure. If she played with it or at on it we praised her. We didn’t initially training until just over 2.5. It was this age she would start to do a dance before weeing and would always hide somewhere for poo’s. We also had another child shortly before she turned two, hence why we didn’t dive in straight at 2.

Our first attempt at training was traumatic. She had three potty’s in the house and gladly sat on them all (albeit off her own accord, would never do so if we asked her to show us) up until day one of training. She was able to tell us when she needed a wee or poo so we tried the no clothes from waist down approach. Day one was just full of tears from the moment she realised she needed to go. I gently told her that wees go in the potty etc etc. she became a limpit. After her first accident she refused to sit where it had happened for a few days and she learnt to hold it. Tried again on day 2 and she held it for 7 hours until I gave in as I didn’t want her get a UTI. This was in January.

We have a since had so many breaks and resets. She will gladly wear pants or go nappy free, but the moment she gets the urge she screams for a nappy. She will go nowhere near a potty/mini toilet/steps for toilet. There’s been times she needs it desperately, we’ve managed to get her to sit on one with a distraction and she will hold it until she’s off and back in a nappy.

Recently we had a day out in public where she was in swimwear with no nappy, and she told me she needed to go. So I took her somewhere private and told her she could let her wee out there (stood up) and she did this twice with no hesitation.

Have since tried twice since this day and no luck and genuinely stuck at what to do. We’ve tried sticker charts, food rewards, bribery with gifts, childminder has tried, even her sister who’s obsessed with sitting on the potties. Recently got in touch with Eric who said to implement routine with sitting and no pressure which we have been doing and nothing seems to be clicking.

I know she won’t be in nappies forever but when everyone’s children around you seem to be potty trained it’s easy to feel like you’re failing them.

We have a just turned 3 year old. We started training when she turned 3 and had nine solid days with not one single success. Everything I read here and online said do not go back to nappies but for the sake of my soft furnishings, we had to. I also had all the thoughts that I was lazy, I’d let her down, she’d be starting school in a nappy etc etc.
We kept the potty’s around, sat her toys on them and still read some books on the subject at night. But we stopped offering her to use it. One morning a few weeks later she woke up and announced that today she was wearing pants and a dress please and we’ve barely had an accident since. Obviously I am no expert I’ve only potty trained one child, but it seemed that taking the pressure off her gave time for it all to consolidate, and she was able to work out what to do in her own time. I think it’s one of the harder things we’ve done with her so far, not looking forward to it with my youngest but I do atleast now know not to panic!