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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Jesus wept I'm at my wits end.

33 replies

partypompoms · 26/08/2023 09:02

Child is over 2.5, showed all signs of being ready. This is my 3rd child so I feel qualified on the topic.

Easily used potty and toilet both in and out of the house for over a month. I'd have the potty out and about in the car for emergencies but really we just used public toilets. Everything was going great.

Child is completely dry at night 99% of the time.

But since the summer holidays it's day time accidents galore. Wees and poos freely in her pants and doesn't even notice or care.

I think she's distracted with her sibling around home from school.

What do I do now?

I've never heard of a night dry but day wet child.

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Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 15:07

Bump

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Rainallnight · 26/08/2023 15:10

Are they ‘proper’ wees and poos? Constipation can cause leaks of both

Daffodilsandtuplips · 26/08/2023 15:18

Bladder infection? Thrush? Irritated bladder?

Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 19:55

Rainallnight · 26/08/2023 15:10

Are they ‘proper’ wees and poos? Constipation can cause leaks of both

Huge quantities of both so I'd say they are proper.

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Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 19:56

Daffodilsandtuplips · 26/08/2023 15:18

Bladder infection? Thrush? Irritated bladder?

We have had a sample checked for infection and she had the all clear. No signs of anything going on.

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RandomMess · 26/08/2023 19:56

Does she like pre-school?

TookTheBook · 26/08/2023 19:57

If it's just at home during the summer holidays, go back to basics and every hour(?), it's time for the "toilet train" and she has to go and try.

RandomMess · 26/08/2023 19:58

Mine who did this I told her she needed to have dry and clean pants to go to pre-school and suddenly it was important enough to remember to go!

Ineedanewsunhat · 26/08/2023 19:59

Constipation?
Worms?

Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 20:10

RandomMess · 26/08/2023 19:56

Does she like pre-school?

She doesn't go yet but we do toddler groups and she loves them

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Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 20:11

Ineedanewsunhat · 26/08/2023 19:59

Constipation?
Worms?

Oh god please not worms. How will I know? Do I dig about?

Definitely not constipated

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Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 20:11

RandomMess · 26/08/2023 19:58

Mine who did this I told her she needed to have dry and clean pants to go to pre-school and suddenly it was important enough to remember to go!

So I need to find a way to replicate this.

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Ineedanewsunhat · 26/08/2023 20:15

Torch patrol after they have gone to sleep. We have all been there. (Shudders.) They only come out at night so it is worth checking.

Smartiepants79 · 26/08/2023 20:16

Worms are unlikely to be causing this. They tend to be active at night. And you’d have seen them if she was properly infected. Will she go if you tell her to?

Totaly · 26/08/2023 20:19

Take her by the hand to the bathroom - do not pick her up 1 walking in wet pants isn’t nice - poo is worse - and don’t speak - tell her you will get dry clothes and come back - take your time - put her in a quick shower and change - slowly!

don’t speak - just get the job done

Your aim here is for her realize going to the bathroom is much quicker and easier than just weeing somewhere

NeedTheSeaside · 26/08/2023 20:19

As she was fine beforeId be getting strict with this. Without knowing your DD it's hard to say exactly how, but I'd have my criss face on & tell her it's unacceptable, she's a big girl who knows how & when to use the toilet, then see how she goes. If it's still an issue I'd be taking her every 20 minutes 'as she doesn't seem to want to bother by herself'. (Interrupt all fun!) any whinging, just be firm and say that if she can't go by herself when she needs to you'll need to keep taking her just in case.

make it tedious until she decides it would be better to go of her own accord when she needs to

Hopefully this will work & the older kids back at school soon will help too.

it's painful when they don't seem to be bothered by it!

i hope you get it sorted in the next couple of days.

Whitewolf2 · 26/08/2023 20:28

Have you tried incentives and sticker charts? Mine would do most things for the promise of chocolate buttons/sweets or a new toy.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 26/08/2023 20:33

My middle one was like this. Dry at night and could stay dry for a good stretch of time. Just wouldnt say when he needed to go. Could be asked loads of times, refuse to go to toilet or potty then have an accident. I was just about to give up and put him back in nappies as I reached DC3's due date then he suddenly just did it. Was a couple of months away from 3

Notooserious · 26/08/2023 20:39

My little bugger did this. Solidly potty trained by 3, then a few months later constant wees and poos in her pants without seeming to notice or care. Started off supportive and gentle but it got worse and worse. Came to a head when we visited my parents and she peed on the cream carpet within half an hour of us arriving. Taken upstairs, and told that if this carried on she would be back in nappies and in the baby room at nursery rather than preschool. Can count the accidents since (four months later) on the fingers of one hand. She was just being lazy.
Eta - I could make the threat because the deputy manager is hard core, so I knew she would back me up and so did my DC! They love her, but they know her ways 🤣

Dragonwindow · 26/08/2023 20:54

This is really common win my experience with wees. They start to realise they can hold it for a bit, but they don't realise they can't hold it forever!

Try to remember it's nothing more than inconvenient- there's no nastiness or malice behind it. I wouldn't be going for a full-on shame-filled guilt trip. But she can share the inconvenience with you! Not as a punishment, but just as "we need to clear this up, now you need to go and get some clean clothes from your drawer, now we need to pop all these wet pants and trousers into the washing machine" etc.

I do sympathise with the poos though, that's grim. I wonder if she's scared herself on the toilet somehow? It's not common for a previously toilet trained kid to be happy sitting in shit again.

Dragonwindow · 26/08/2023 20:56

Also, I used to keep a tube of smarties in full view on top of the mirror in the toilet. I didn't make a big deal if there was an accident, but lots of praise (and smarties!) when it went right.

RandomMess · 26/08/2023 20:59

I'd put her back in nappies and tell her they are for big girls whilst you think of an incentive.

One of mine just didn't want to stop her game then wouldn't quite make it 🙄

I also never did that asking thing if they are going to be dry they needed to be initiating it themselves.

Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 21:40

Ineedanewsunhat · 26/08/2023 20:15

Torch patrol after they have gone to sleep. We have all been there. (Shudders.) They only come out at night so it is worth checking.

Oh god I think I'd leave home if it's worms

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mynameiscalypso · 26/08/2023 21:43

It'll be ~something. Maybe, as you say, the change of the school holidays. My DS is a bit older but has had a few accidents recently as his routine has changed. He was also reliably dry at night long before the day.

Original poster
partypompoms · 26/08/2023 21:46

@Totaly I think this sounds good as I'm starting to get cross so silence would be better.

@NeedTheSeaside thanks for the response. I hope September will resolves everything magically.

@Whitewolf2 I've done sweets as bribes with the older child getting them too so that she can encourage the younger one to go and try. Also I didn't like to give one without the other. I'm literally giving two tiny nerd sweets and they love it.

@Notooserious @RandomMess I've threatened nappies and she couldn't care less. She still has a nappy at night just in case. Maybe I should stop them.

@Dragonwindow great advise. I need to remember she's not being annoying on purpose.

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