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Almost 4 year old toilet training/constipation?

6 replies

Jellybum2019 · 05/06/2023 17:49

hoping someone may be able to help.

my almost 4 year old isn’t yet toilet trained, we have tried absolutely everything, nursery are involved and also have seen the health visitor a couple of times for extra support.

he will not try to go toilet on the potty or toilet, point blank refuses and just lashes out screaming etc. he will pants for a few hours without too much drama, but we have been through where he will just hold himself for hours and there’s absolutely nothing we can do or say that will get him to even try to go on the toilet or potty.

the last time I saw the health visitor we discussed his stools and I explained how they are loose as his norm (note that as a baby around 9-18 months he was on the sachets as he used to struggle to go - clearly struggling to get it out, would take a good few attempts over an hour or so etc) since then, all okay in terms of not struggling/distressed but generally loose each time and multiple times a day

she reccomended seeing the doctor which I have done so and upon showing a picture, advised she thought it was normal

he has been refererred for a blood test to check there isn’t any underlying issues, but my gut is telling me he is constipated still but with different symptoms to normal constipation

he can go anywhere between 1-4 times a day, usually small each time ranging from a 5p sized smear to perhaps the size of a child’s fist but again loose in consistency (but not wet like diahreah)

he usually says ‘I’m still trying’ when we say we need to change his nappy, which admittedly we put down to him just not wanting to be distracted from playing, but now I am thinking it’s related to him not feeling empty.

does this sound like constipation? He doesn’t ever complain of being in pain or that it hurts. But I think he’s struggling to empty himself each time properly.

has anyone else ever experienced a similar link between this and toilet training?

he starts school in September so I really want to get him on the right track, I don’t agree with the doctor dismissing it as quite normal so wanted to see if anyone has had a similar Experience etc?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
UnaOfStormhold · 05/06/2023 17:50

Sounds like it could be impacted constipation and bypass diarrhoea - the Eric website is a great resource.

Jellybum2019 · 05/06/2023 18:42

Thank you - he never passes any hard stools at all between the loose ones. But other wise it all does sound right. Going to try to get into the doctors again tomorrow and start again and hope they offer some advice other than sounds/looks normal!

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Intersmellar · 28/06/2023 07:27

Hi, check out the ERIC website. Constipation does not always present with hard stools.
I have learnt the hard way with my son who is 4 and is now on disimpaction treatment. We went to GP at least 3 times over a 12-18 months period who did not suggest constipation but that is exactly what it is!
I would recommend researching the Eric website then go to GP and request laxatives to remove the blockage. Only then will they be able to go.
the lose stool you are seeing is overflow poo around the blockage.

Jellybum2019 · 19/07/2023 19:37

Hi all quick update - some recent blood tests have flagged potential coeliac so awaiting further tests to confirm.

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Nell23 · 01/10/2023 20:33

@Jellybum2019 did your ds ever get caeliac diagnosis?

Jellybum2019 · 02/10/2023 05:55

Well…. Hospital appointment came through for next February, managed to get it fast tracked and had an appointment last Monday.

doctor confirmed he had it, no further tests required and advised to go gluten free from now.

3 hours later I had a call (after going home clearing out the cupboards and going Asda and getting some bits in) - ‘I gave you the wrong advice and he needs further tests’

so currently waiting on a date for a biopsy, although on Saturday we received a letter for a telephone appointment for the end of March so I’m quite lost and frustrated!

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