Toilet Training HELP!!!

[Ang273]

I'm really struggling with toilet training my daughter.
She is almost 3 1/2 & i've been trying for a year!!! Please don't judge.
I've tried everything. We've read books, watched videos, stickers, reward charts, sweets, you name it!
It seems she does seem to understand when she needs a wee even when she has done it.
As for a poo, she would quite happily sit in a pooey nappy all day!

I feel like a failure. She is the only one of her friends not toilet trained!
She does have a speech delay due to glue ear (confirmed, awaiting surgery date) but she understands everything I say to her.

We have tried her wearing knickers for a few days, and I know I shouldn't have reverted back to nappies for consistency, but I was honestly going through about 15 pairs of knickers each day.
She drinks loads of water which I don't think helps!

She goes to Nursery and will wee on toilet there as all her friends are doing it, but at home she refuses and I don't want to end up losing my temper with her.

Has anyone been through this?
Does anyone have any advice please?

Honestly don't worry. My DD tried several times with my DGS with no success at all. He was four years three months before it finally clicked and that was because Nursery told him one day that they'd run out of nappies and he'd have to borrow some pants for the afternoon. He never looked back, but honestly they all get there in their own time and there's no point in stressing about it if they're not ready.

Put her in underpants for nursery, put her in a nappy at home. I know this seems like a step back but right now you have a power struggle and you need to "give" and let things go so you can reset.
Re-frame the goal, the target for right now is having her in underwear for nursery, and lots of praise about that.

Take it slow you have lots of time, it doesn't matter about how anyone else her age is doing, no stress or reminders. In a month or two, when you have that working introduce the toilet at home again, potty out in the morning, sitting on the toilet at bath time. and then build on that with reminders to go every half an hour.

Thank you both for replying and your reassurance!
What a great suggestion regarding her wearing knickers at Nursery!
Hubbie thinks its a good idea too!
Thanks again x

No problem, try not to stress about it too much she will get there.
Good luck!