3 Year Old Will Not Wee at Childminders!

[Takefountain]

My daughter was 3 in December and we potty trained her last May. She started going to a childminder in September and she absolutely loves going and adores the childminder. BUT although she will sit in the toilet and try she cannot let go and wee on there. She was holding on until she got home and doing a massive wee, but recently she is having more and more accidents. I even had to take around extra dry clothes today. We’ve tried star charts, positive encouragement, bribery, the works. It seems to be getting worse. All ideas welcome. Thank you.

Ok this sounds odd, but could you wee on the childminder's loo in front of her?

She is obviously withholding for some reason. Covid probably doesn't help with this.

Is the toilet comfy for her there? Could it be something like a wobbly toddler seat that's making her too nervous to relax properly when she's sat on it? Or is she self-conscious about weeing in front of the childminder / other children if they're in the toilet / bathroom at the same time? My DD liked complete privacy with the door shut even at age 2/3!
Does she poo at the childminder's at all?
I'm guessing that with repeated lockdowns etc. she probably hasn't had much experience of using toilets besides your own so it could be something really simple like just being a different toilet or the flush is weird or anything really.

@RandomReader

Ok this sounds odd, but could you wee on the childminder's loo in front of her?

She is obviously withholding for some reason. Covid probably doesn't help with this.

This has crossed my mind too, maybe I should! I’ll see what the childminder says.

@stuckinarutatwork

Is the toilet comfy for her there? Could it be something like a wobbly toddler seat that's making her too nervous to relax properly when she's sat on it? Or is she self-conscious about weeing in front of the childminder / other children if they're in the toilet / bathroom at the same time? My DD liked complete privacy with the door shut even at age 2/3! Does she poo at the childminder's at all? I'm guessing that with repeated lockdowns etc. she probably hasn't had much experience of using toilets besides your own so it could be something really simple like just being a different toilet or the flush is weird or anything really.

Thank you. I will investigate. Maybe it is a wobbly seat 🤔.

I feel I must point out the childminder’s house is lovely and completely spotless by the way!

She only poos at home, in a nappy, which is a whole other story.

Lockdown must have contributed to this. She was potty trained from May to September when she will only have had to wee at home.

I think it might just be nerves surrounding the use of a different toilet.
Are you allowed in the house?
Could you take her for a wee when you drop her off (perhaps give her lots to drink first so she needs to go!)?

Just trained DD and she was very reluctant to go to the toilet when I asked her if she needed on a recent outing. I showed her that I had brought our portable seat along with us and she suddenly did want to go. Could you do similar? Get a replica of whatever she wees in at home to keep at the Childminder’s

Out of interest- how did this end? My dd is also 3 and will not wee at preschool! She refuses to use the toilet there but has no problem anywhere else when she’s with me or family. She also will only poo in a nappy!