Advice on poo!

[YukoandHiro]

We've been potty training for 2 months and my 2y 8m old girl is mostly dry in the day now apart from the odd accident when she's totally immersed in something and forgets. She doesn't toilet independently though - she still needs help pulling trousers up and down etc. We're working on that.

However, she is having trouble with poos. I can tell when she's getting uncomfortable and need to go, and she will say she needs to, but can't seem to work out how to make it happen when sitting on the toilet or potty.

She will say "quick" and run to it when it's reached the crucial moment but by the time we get there it's half out. And this often comes after a day of saying "ow" and knowing she needs to go but trying and not seeming to be able to relax and make it happen.

If relevant, she's definitely not constipated and her poo is regular and on the softer side (always has been as she has multiple allergies, though these are under control).

She also sometimes waits til the night nappy is on then let it go.

I don't think she's deliberately holding, but can't seem to understand what to do unless it's already fully happening to her...

we've tried talking about it, comforting her, leaving her alone and giving space, incentives eg lets get x stars on the chart and you can have y present/reward, and full on bribery with chocolate buttons. Nothing seems to help her.

Any thoughts? We've thrown away so many ruined knickers!

No advice op, I’m in the same boat. My dd is 2yrs 10 months and only this morning crapped on the bedroom floor- I know this because her legs and bum were dirty.....however I cannot for the life of me find the poo! I’ve crawled around sniffing like a bloodhound and it’s nowhere to be seen. At this point I’m hoping that the dog ate it as vile as it sounds so I’ll be following for tips.

Try reading her ‘Poo Goes To Pooland’ (should be downloadable). It worked like magic on my then 2 year old with the same problem.

Thanks I'll try that - is it a book?

Oh no @Nostradamuswept !!!

Could she have hidden it somewhere? I reckon if the dog hasn't eaten it you'd definitely have smelt it by now!

I used to empty poo from pants into potty and then get him to sit on it. But honestly poo just takes longer, there is less build of the need to go like there is with a wee. The important thing is to remain laid back about it and always put in the potty saying poo goes in the potty. And to tell her well done for trying to do it if she was on her way.

I did a couple of weeks with potty next to my child wherever she was ... worked really well and she stopped soiling within a few days. Then gently moved potty towards the bathroom and she moved onto the toilet with no fuss.

Have you looked at the website ERIC. It is a toilet training support site and will have loads of info on there.
Poo takes longer and sitting isn't actually a great position. She's used to squatting which is a much more natural position.
It will happen it just takes time.

@YukoandHiro I second poo goes
To Pooland. It’s a pdf book for download and I believe in the U.K. there is also an app for it.

We also have a small stool that our toddler can rest her feet on while pooping.

Thanks everyone - yes we have a travel potty in the room and she definitely knows the theory, but she's often taken by surprise or if she makes it in time she seems to hold even if she's chosen to go to the loo.
We do tip what's been done in and get her to finish on there, which mostly works. But pants are still stained as she's always a bit mushy (which I'd rather than constipated but it's a bit messy!!)
Will try Poo goes to Pooland and looking at the website suggested.
Thanks!

When my son pooed in his pants I would take it straight to the sink and wash with fairy liquid it would come straight out, have you tried that?

In the last week she's now started holding in the day and ending up pooing in her night nappy while relaxed and asleep, in the night or early morning, meaning she's waking with a very sore bum! (She's not waking in the night and telling us it's happened).

Is this just a stage?

Feeling quite fed up this week as we had one day or lots of wetting accidents too when she was feeling emotional about me having to work so much (albeit from home) over the weekend.