Potty training started wrong HELP

[Starnight8951]

So we tried to potty train my 3 year old! We put him in underpants and tries for 3 days and he was doing ok but lots of accidents and didnt seem to know when he was going to wee so we gave up and left it a couple of months. We have decided to try again however its all gone wrong and i dont know how to undo the bad habbits we are in! First he expects a chocolate everytime he does a wee or poo, we did this originally because he wouldn't even sit on the toilet! We tried stickers he wasnt interested! But he was doing well we went a few days accident free but only by us putting him on the toilet not him telling us! Then we had 2 bad days, lots of accidents and lots of frustration from my partner and now he seems to be hiding when he needs a wee and scared! Ive tried to tell him to not react when he has an accident but its hard we have been at this for nearly 2 weeks now! Im worried we have made it harder and now dont know what to do or try! We are on lockdown so dont want to give up as might as well keep trying! Please any help! Im getting so upset with this! X

Firm believer in the Oh crap method.
Don’t put pants on him at first- too much like a nappy.
Leave him lower half bare with a potty within easy reach. Look for queues that he may need to
Pee etc. Like an awkward dance. Don’t overly ask if he needs to loo, instead try phrases like “right we just had breakfast time for potty”. If he is holding himself then sit him on a potty with an ipad until he’s done something, could take 30mins. Applaud him if he uses the potty but don’t reward with sweets.
Once you think he’s starting to get used to using the potty but him in clothes but no pants and once he’s tackled that put him in pants.
Good luck!

Well of course he is going to have accidents, that’s only normal. He isn’t going to initially know when he’s going to wee. Having cold wet pants and knowing how that feels isn’t a bad thing. That’s how he recognises that’s he’s weeing & will then start to understand the sensations leading up to him weeing. Constantly asking him to have a wee & regularly putting him on the toilet then clapping and making lots of fuss when he does go on the toilet encourages him to want to go. In this warm weather, like the pp, I would also have him pant free, when he wees he wees and just say “oh you’re having a wee-quick potty” so he knows &recognises that’s what you want him to do on the potty. Just mop it up, it’s no big deal.

I think it’s sad that he’s now scared and hiding when he has an accident. You ignore the accidents, say oh dear and you mop it up. You don’t make a toddler feel scared and ashamed for having an accident.

DS still talks about ‘the poo stair’