what to do when they just hold it in?

[Thewalker75]

Ds3 started potty training on Sunday. Started off well but after a couple of days, gettting him to sit on the potty became a battle - he just refused. He also refused the toilet. We decided not to make a big deal out of it to avoid him getting stressed so just thought we would let him wee his trousers and he would soon get the idea.

Except he didn’t. He just holds it in then gets himself into a state dancing around, crying and holding his willy.

We had to resort to chocolate this morning as a bribe and it worked but I really don’t want to do this every time.

I can’t find any information about what to do in this situation - just keep offering the potty they say.

But if he won’t sit on the bloody thing and can’t do anything because he’s so upset he needs to go what do we do?

Can anyone help please?

Anyone? Please...

Have you tried a sticker chart if you don't want to use sweets. Fill a basket with cheap toys from £1 shop and for every 3 stickers he gets to pick a prize from the basket. Once chart is full he gets a bigger treat something he really wants Hope it gets easier for him.

How old is he?

We're in week 3 and have our own issues so I'm by no means an expert!

If I'm honest I would probably use the bribery if it's working. I'd do a sticker and a chocolate button for every successful wee and two for a poo. If it's working I'd then move towards stickers only after a few days. Hopefully as he gets more comfortable with the potty he'll need a bit less of a prize!

If you're still getting the withholding after a couple of days I'd probably take a break for a few weeks and then try again.

We had the same problem. Bribery worked (stickers and chocolate!) along with lots of praise. Then we slowly increased what DD had to do to get the reward. Sit on the potty, do a wee on the potty, sit on the toilet, wee in the toilet, poo on the potty...

There's nothing wrong with bribery. Buy something less expensive and less likely to cause constipation than chocolate though.

How old is your DC and what signs did you have to indicate he was ready for potty training?

What sort of groundwork did you lay before getting started?

Tickles on the potty blow raspberries on there arms bubbles story time etc

You can run the tap and hope the trickling sound will get a response.

But if your DC is experiencing all this difficulty, maybe pack it in and tell him maybe this isn't the right time for him and you'll wait until he's ready.

Thanks for the comments and some good tips we will def try.

He’s improved slightly in that he’s no longer holding it in - he just won’t use the potty. He will panic for a bit then suddenly stand still with his legs apart holding onto something! We are still bribing him with very small chocs but I don’t care at the moment because it is working.

He’s at nursery today so will be interesting to see how he gets on there.

He initiated this himself so we are following his lead. We’ve had a potty around for ages as we tried training him last summer but he wasn’t ready.

I’ve bought a pepper pig potty today in the hope that might be more appealing. Might see if he will do it standing up as that seems to be his preferred stance!

Have you tried the toilet instead? My DS1 didn’t like the potty and preferred the toilet!