Wants to wear pants but not ready?

[Thumperduck]

DS 2.5 wants to wear pants. We tried a few months ago when he first asked and he clearly wasn't ready, wet himself every time and didn't do anything on the potty/toilet. We went back to nappies after a day with no fuss. Yesterday he decided he'd like to give it another go. It was slightly better, he would start weeing then stop, and finish off on the potty. He is going every time he's asked to, but isn't regularly indicating that he needs to go, he's only done that a few times. He does seem a bit bothered by being wet. Yesterday evening, he told us he needed a poo, we directed him to the potty but he refused, and eventually did it in his pants and then asked for a nappy.

Should we carry on, or is he still not ready? Wearing pants is all being driven by him - I'd be happy with nappies!

Potty training can be really hard! It’s great he’s so positive about his new pants. Weeing and pooing can be two separate issues for some kids I think. Thinking about the weeing, if he sits on the potty and has a wee when he’s asked to, that’s really good. Knowing he wants a wee, saying, and getting there before he starts to wee can take a bit longer. Are you sitting him on the potty to wee frequently? Is he always very close to a potty - in the same room? Potties need to be close by to get there in time.

So poos can be a whole different matter. One of my DCs mastered weeing (after a lot of bother), but wouldn’t poo in the potty. There’s a story ‘Poo goes to Pooland’ which is great for reluctant pooers - but I would say it’s really too early for that yet.

If he’s still keen, maybe keep going for now - and focus on getting the wees sorted. Some like to still poo in a nappy at first. It’s a tough call, because it could be that if you waited another couple of months it would be dead easy. But if he’s keen, I would keep going. Are you using rewards? Stickers? —Chocolate buttons?—

Failed strike through for those tasty chocolate buttons

It’s only been one day, I’d keep going for a week before giving up

Thanks. No rewards yet, but I'm not adverse to the idea. We had another poo accident this evening (he's regular, it's the same time as yesterday) so might put a nappy on after tea to catch that for a little while longer yet.

We'll keep going then, and review after a week!

So we're a week in now and he's only asked for a wee once, after bath one night. We've had lots of wee accidents and several poo ones. He will go on the potty/toilet every time he's asked to and is clearly holding wees as they're sizable. We're taking him every hour or so but when we tried waiting for him to ask on Saturday the amount of clothing and shoe changing was ridiculous.

What would you do next? Give up for a few months or carry on the frustrating process?! My older child was 3 months older when he decided to potty train and was done and dusted in 3 days.

It’s a tough call. Why do you think he’s not saying he needs a wee? Is he engrossed in something else and doesn’t want to stop to go to the potty? Did you try rewards? DD2 would only go to the potty herself if she got a Haribo for a wee/poo. Appreciate this might be considered terrible parenting, but it was the only thing that worked for her We had tried all sorts of great non-food rewards without success.

So am I right in thinking that your DS has shown that he can hold his wees, but he’s not motivated to go to the potty? How long has he been holding on for? Is there a reward that would make him really, really want to get to the potty himself?

Have you always got him in the same room as a potty at home, and a potty in your bag if you go out? Could you just have him in pants at home - no other clothing on his bottom half or shoes - so that he can get to the potty fast and changing him is less hassle?

Having said all that, if you feel like you’ve had enough then I wouldn’t have thought it would do any harm to try again in a few months...